Stone and Blood: Poems

448 · Apr 2018

Jesebel

Stone and Blood Apr 2018

Jesebel

Allow me to be naked around you,
Adjust to the sudden change in atmosphere,
If you will.

Grasp at fleeting understanding,
Until it leaves your consciousness forever.

The chase, that chase for understanding.
That urge, the traces of that hurt.
Turned me into a *****.

Don’t misconceive my nakedness for desperation.
I am this,
Transparent, clear-minded.
Take me as you will.
Or leave me as you may.
I am still right here.

#understanding #misconception #isolation

362 · Mar 2018

Gameplayer (Painbringer)

Stone and Blood Mar 2018

Gameplayer (Painbringer)

I want you to hurt my hurt.
Feel my Pain.
Run you through.
All encompassing.
Unforgiving.
Destroy everything in the path.
Until we are both clean.
And there is nothing left.

So maybe you can see.
What you have taken away from me.

You are a confusing, wind of destruction.
I can’t outrun you.
I’m not even going to try.
Why am I unable to escape it?
Am I just that weak for you?
Am I stupid for being brave?
I’m fighting to survive.
Piece by piece you are wearing me down.
To a crumbled pile.

Movement is leaving me.
Even if I knew where to crawl,
I don’t know if I have the strength.

Face down.
Ignore your howl.
Pace yourself.
This is going to take a while.

Optimism will have to stay.
It has to be enough.
So that someday you may be finally gone.
Gone. Gone far away.

I recently had forgiven someone that had broken my heart and tried to stay good friends, which we were before for quite some time, before the heart break. It was impossible for me to catch feelings for her again. We had discussed it in length. It was good. Days later I could tell we were going to be on the same destructive path. Don't date co-workers.

#endure #cold #lost #forgetting #ignore #strength #fear

349 · Feb 2018

My beacon to you.

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

My beacon to you.

I keep searching.
For your center.
For that metronome.
That gives you your Rhythm.
For that heart.
For which I am attracted to.
The pulse, so loud.
I cannot define its location.
It is somewhere, among this, “Ocean of Chaos”.
Swimming in the Mad.

This is my beacon.
Your pulse is undoubtedly loud.
Mine is just as strong, now.
Resonating together.
But with no knowledge of proximity.
Distance.

Maybe our souls were never to meet.
Maybe we would resonate so loud,
That we would tear this world apart.
Or set it ablaze with the Fury of our Love and Kindness.
Maybe this silly little poem is the beacon we both need.

Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.

From strength comes sweetness. Be strong guys and gals. Love will find its way.

#heartbeat #fire #spirit #searching #passion

326 · Jun 2018

The Short-Sighted

Stone and Blood Jun 2018

The Short-Sighted

Blind in one eye,
Blind in two.
Short Sighted a many,
But the Scattered, few.
Helmets, protect the Short Sighted,
From a great deal, a plenty.
But for what they see,
What a pity.
Making for difficulty,
You don’t see.

The Scattered, listen.
We don’t lie.
I don’t feel like we’re living,
We’re living to survive.

#vision #perception #ignorance #survive

281 · Feb 2018

Oklahoma City

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

Oklahoma City

Hello,
We've never met before.
But I've seen you around.
I like your smile.
The sincerity in your voice.

Hello darling,
Nice to see you again.
You won't believe all the places I've been.
I've brought the world on my back.
Just so I can see you again.

Hello again, darling.
It's been a while.
I know.
I hope I can still make you smile.
Sit here, talk with me for a while.
This world became too much to carry,
So I left it behind this time.
Left it for whoever was next,
That stood in line.

Darling.
It's nice to see you again.
I am better now than I have ever been.
I found the world once more.
Inside my baby's arms.
It's nice to see you again.

I wrote this when I was probably 16. I'm proud that this had survived all these years. I still think that some love can withstand the test of time.

#time #distance #strength

261 · Apr 2018

My Feet, My Rhythm.

Stone and Blood Apr 2018

My Feet, My Rhythm.

Souls enter your life,
Complete their part,
And leave.

I’d love for you to stay a while longer.
The universe says otherwise.
It has to be enough.
Your candlelight flame may bonfire,
Or dwindle in the subtle breeze of early-morning spring.

My Feet, my Rhythm.
My Body, my Soul.
Traveling in the darkness of uncertainty.
Ironically lets my imagination flourish.
The act of passionately holding on to the Miserable.
The inevitable intoxication by the Rage of letting go.

#darkness #seasons #fire #soul #spirit #uncertainty

241 · Feb 2018

Disconnected

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

Disconnected

We are worlds.
Self sustaining, full of energy.
Or,
As bare as a skull.
No thoughts, no flesh.
A husk of what was, and could have been.

But when two worlds connect in some way,
Deeply, without hesitation,
That’s when they transcend this universe.
Into somewhere themselves will only know.

It is up to us to make the most of this special gift we have.
The universe will do the rest.

So there is a lot of thoughts going on with this one. I've noticed in the past year or so that we either go through the motions of life or try to create something out of it. Either way is perfectly fine. But for me personally, I have to fill the world with songs and words. That is when my soul is striving and happy. That is my way to true love.

#optimism #truth #happiness

232 · Feb 2018

Days like this

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

Days like this

I want to go home,
Crawl in my bed.
And start digging a hole.
Inside my head.

#anxiety #frustration #confusion

222 · Feb 2018

How I treat myself

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

How I treat myself

I wear myself down.
Thoughts of anxiety, slowly but surely.
Trickle of water turns into a river.
It’s not the water’s fault it eroded the earth.
Still.
Your path is forever there.
Where you have been, set in stone.
Time is the ultimate punishment.

I don’t like making enemies.
Or that someone is not okay with who I am.
Still, I let you carve into my stone, because of time.
But please.
Leave marks of beauty.
No gashes, no craters.
Do what makes you happy.

I must be somewhat withered.
Definition on my face is unclear, for obvious reasons.
To the point where old marks are missing.
Does that mean a relationship can have a clean slate?
I can hope, I miss that friend.
It’s a bit tender there, mind you.

#stone #forgiveness #time

191 · Feb 2018

Untitled

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

Untitled

I’m not going to act like I’m not always thinking about you,
Because I am.
I’m not going to act like you don’t keep my bed warm at night,
Because you do.
One of the most real things this calloused mind has ever felt.
There is no question.
There just is,
Happiness.
I have been forgiven.
I am on fire.

This one is inspired by two songs I'm fond of. I'm On Fire by Bruce Springsteen and Burning Bright (Field On Fire) by Nine Inch Nails

#peace #found #fire #love

180 · Feb 2018

Down

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

Down

I had a candlelight, flame.
I traded for the stars.
But I can’t tell the stars,
from the planes.
And it gets me down.

Heart exposed, to please.
Eyes glowing, darkness surrounding.
Misinterpret for teeth.
Killing, killing, killing.
And it gets me down.

Everyone is a weapon.

Lips moving,
all I can say.
Hollow, hollow, hollow.
Hollow and gray.
And it gets me down.

#confusion #sadness #violence

173 · Feb 2018

Memories

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

Memories

Is it wrong to hold onto them?
Of course not.
Just wispy clouds floating in your head.
They won’t bring rain.

#dream #memories #anxiety

156 · Feb 2018

How I treat others

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

How I treat others

Offer your time.
Lingering soul to my being.
My touch is delicate, I promise.
So I hope.
So please offer your time.
To the fact that all there is,
And all there was,
And all that will be,
That we share this moment.
Don’t let it die in vain.
Before we know it, it too, will be gone.
Hear what you hear, see what you see.
And remember.

Be happy.
Someone gave you this life to live,
And it’s yours.
It is special only to you.
It is your home.
Enjoy the satisfaction of what you made.

#grace #affection #pride

132 · Feb 2018

For a hero of mine

Stone and Blood Feb 2018

For a hero of mine

Hairs on the crescent of my hand tingles.
Uneasy, standing on the edge of the universe.
Heart burrowing a hole. Deeper, deeper.
Such bliss is not easy to come by.
And then I question my soul, spirit.
Am I just an ink stain spreading across this white sheet?
I am out of synchronization.
Heart is playing too fast.
Spirit is playing too slow.
Body has stopped altogether.

I hear you.
I see you.
Two spirits communicating.
Distance.
Sometimes parts of you are closer to me than my own.
Don’t be ridiculous, the communication is one way.
Pieces of you being distributed among myself.
Sun to the earth.
Moon to the water.
And I feel okay.

I lay in an open field and feel the warmth of the sun.
The swift changes in the air.
And the earth is still.
The same earth, we share.
We were born by the same sun.
We witness the same stars.
The same greens, blue, reds, and everything in between.
It’s enough.

I am satiated with it.
Other times I’m so far away.
So, so far away.
If I scream you don’t hear.
I still do.
And then you would run away.
Because I am Chaos and the Darkness.
You are quite the opposite.

Sun to the earth.
Moon to the water.
It has to be enough.

— The End —