Most nights
I'm at war
With my own thoughts

I am a terrible liar,
no matter how thick
my masks are...

In this land
I feel out of place.

It's hard when
you're often misunderstood.
I just let it be
succumbing to my faults,
to my insecurities,
to my doubts & fears...

I breathe-in the toxic air
and breathe-it-out...
No matter how much
you cleanse the air
that comes,
when you're
stained
it leaves a scar
that's hard to heal.
Then everything comes
to a choice,
**** or be ******.

I have been good
so far...
Letting the river
flows,
never got to swim back
or even fight
the rushing currents.
Pretending to swim is
easy.

In the end,
life is  been
good,
despite happiness
is just a mask.

before you'll able
to help
others...

understand your
pain first and
confide
to
your
inner
being...

upon listening
you'll reflect
your own,
by then
you can
be connected
to their heart strings...

empathy is a blessing
as it is a burden.
it hurts you more
than it pains them...

just stay
on a steady
phase,
then you'll be
okay...

I don't think
I've ever live
for love.

Responsibility is quite heavy...

As the sea is dolorous
My soul is untamable
As the moon perpetuate the sea
One can make me conclusive
But who can bottle that be?

The sea may reverberate
My affection may extravasate
The moon dispassion the waves
Of my life's precipitation
Who can prevail against me?

As deep as the sea
Is my love and my heart
As the moon faultless the sea
I need someone to quiescent me
Who can rival me?

The sea is so atramentous
As is my disposition
The moon luminosity it's light
Can someone genuinely love me
And make me whole?

I need a camaraderie
Like the moon and the sea
Commensurate and exhaustive
Come find me
If you dare
I'm lost at sea.

searching for a word to explain my mood right now; not antisocial, more of just *withdrawn