I was taking a bath at 3 in the afternoon. Just finished brushed my teeth, now staring at the water below me, about to rinse off my shampoo while thinking of you. And then a certain thought came to my mind, this moment already happened. I don’t know how many times, probably twice or thrice but I remember looking at the pouring water and thinking of your love that has kept cleansing me. Not only the setting is same or the thought is similar but also the feeling that I have was the feeling I exactly felt when this thing happened. I remember dreaming that I was already running late for school and so I got ready so quickly as if I only have 5 minutes of my life left and when I already reached our classroom, all my classmates were staring at me like I murdered someone and the feeling was horrible. As I was dying from embarrassment, I suddenly woke up. Everything changed but it felt like nothing happened, then all of a sudden I was in a zoo, all dressed up with a camera, and a snake was about to **** me, and as I was dying from fear I woke up sweating. I checked my phone and it said it was midnight. I couldn’t remember what I was thinking back then but in that moment, the only words that came out of my mouth were “It was a dream within a dream.” When I was answering my math exam, I couldn’t think of anything to answer, I couldn’t even think of what to do in trigonometry, so I did the famous eenie meenie because I have already accepted that I was beyond bad when it comes to numbers, but I remember wishing that the Kelly Bitangcol in the parallel universe is a mathematician.
Déjà vu, dreams, parallel universe, what really are those? How does the uncanny sensation that you’ve experienced something before, that an event is repeating itself possible? Why do we dream and what even are dreams? Are we alone in this world? Is there another world? Or are there other worlds? Thousands of questions and all you get for an answer are 3 words, the great unknown. And that is what keeps everyone wondering right? Things we don’t know. We keep on searching for answers even if takes decades to get them and until now the mysteries aren’t solved. So what we do is create our own ideas, our own theories. I think that our dreams are events that are happening to our other selves in another universe, and maybe your other selves are also dreaming of what is happening to you here. I think déjà vu is an event that already happened to us in another world so when we experience that moment for the first time, we feel that it already happened before. I always think of other versions of me, maybe one Kelly likes sports, maybe one Kelly is quiet and mysterious, maybe one Kelly loves math or maybe one Kelly is the very opposite of me.
But in the alternate dimensions, I wonder, would we meet? Would you ever come across to the sporty version of me? Would you never give up to unravel my mysteries? Would you like the mathematician Kelly? Would you fall in love with my opposite? I also made theories about your other selves, perhaps you’re a rockstar in one, perhaps the other version of you likes to paint, or perhaps one version of you abhors me. We could be staring at the stars in another universe, unable to tell our feelings for each other. We could be teammates in a math club. I could be sitting on a park bench while reading a book, and you are jogging, and as you decided to take a rest and sit on a bench I already left for class. We could be two people that would come across on the street, unable to look at each other, because we’re holding someone else’s hand. We could be anything in other worlds, we could be enemies, we could be just friends, or we could be strangers. And so I realised, that this version of me is beyond glad to meet that version of you in this one world out of no one knows how many. I do not like sports, I am not quiet and mysterious, I am horrible when it comes to math. You are not a rockstar, you cannot paint, but the thing is, I met you and you met me. We met one another and have known each other, we saw our imperfections and flaws and the things we couldn’t do that we wished we could. Maybe in another universe we could do all those things but we don’t have one thing there that we have here, each other. But hear me when I say this, if ever all of these are true, if I have lots of versions and you have many, whether there are things you can do or can’t, whether you’re worse or you’re better, one thing is certain. I will no longer spend decades to find an answer, I wouldn’t need to wonder anymore because it is not unknown. Baby, if there are millions of different you and millions of worlds, I know a thing for sure. I would still choose this, I would still choose you.
*k.b