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 Mar 2019 Olivia L
If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.
The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.
 Mar 2019 Olivia L
Lick my lips
Cradle my face
Gaze into my eyes
And tell me I'm safe
I buried my hands in his pockets
And found a quiet place for us to live at the bottom
Tucked in between fibers of the fabric and his hands
I can hide away until everyone forgets who I am...
 Mar 2019 Olivia L
“They won’t make you super happy, they won’t immediately take the sadness away, but they will help”
I’m growing up and getting help for my sad ***
 Oct 2018 Olivia L
Nat Lipstadt
Why Men Cry in the Bathroom

For so many reasons.
I will tell you the why.
I think you know,
Or perhaps, you think you know.

Men are always O.K.,
Even when not.

We expect the worse,
Accept the worse,
We are forever unprepared.

Wearily, we cry,
In the bathroom, in private,
Lest sighs slip by,
We be unmasked,
Early warring, strife signs warning.

Copious, tho we weep
Before the mirror confessor,
It is relief untethered,
Unbinding of the feet,
An uncounting
Of beaded rosaries,
Of freshly fallen hail stones,
Of night times terrors
By dawn's early edition's light,
and welcomed.

But look for the mute tear,
The eye-cornered drop,
*** tat, that never drops,
But never ceases formation and
Reforming, over and over again,
In a state of perpetuity of reconstitution,

The tippy tear of an iceberg revealing,
And I see you peeping, wondering,
What is beneath

Look for:
the torn worm-eaten edges of spirit,
thrift shop bought, extra worn,
grieving lines neath the eyes,
where the salt has evaporated,
discolored the skin.
worry lines,
under and above,
browed mapped, furrowed boundaries.
the laugh line saga,
where better days are stored,
recalled, as well as recanted,
publicly, privately.

Why just men?

I don't know,
it is all I know.

Jan 6, 2013
your effusive and lengthy comments are each a poem in their own right.  

Tinkered with June 22, 2013
With a push from Bala,
A serial peeper, thank God!
 May 2017 Olivia L
Mateuš Conrad
i really miss fighting... throwing punches,
kicking people's ***... i miss it, because i'd love to
sport a plum... but... the last time i was
in a fight...
            i was only a witness...
just outside a nightclub...
this guy punched another
guy dead...
      no, seriously, one proper
hit to the head, and the guy
was out...
       it's very peculiar seeing
death before your eyes...
  it looked very much like
chopping down a tree...
      with a single chop...
 and the tree lay flat, and it didn't dare to move
to the syllables of exchanging seasons...
    i guess it would be easier
to stomach seeing a suicide
taking place... a man jumping off a bridge
would be easier to stomach that seeing
     a man punch another man, dead...
        but seeing a punch like that
in the face... with the guy falling
down, dead, so quickly?
         watching someone die,
right before your eyes?
  it's no fun... since there's no funeral
to be had...
     it's too quick, because it is:
                               as it happens...
i was off the scene as quickly as possible,
no... i was not going to
be a wtiness... **** that...
   i've been a witness of a theft of a mobile
   stood in court...
      prior to had to sieve through a bunch
of culprit profile pictures, to identify the suspect,
and so i did, the owner of the stolen mobile phone
couldn't identify him...
    and many years later...
   what, a, complete, ****, he, became;
so much for the human conceptualisation
of either knowledge, or jurisprudence...
    how unlikely it has to become...
                       that i believe in a theocracy;
since man is so "schizophrenic"
                  (i.e. he's not rational... he's split!)
                      in serving his so-called
conceptualisation of, "justice",
           having been... perfected, to a universal /
uniform, socialist, alternatively stated: desirable level;
i base my belief in god,
   on the inadequacy of man, as having
   the sane capacity, to serve a just argument,
for whatever reward, or, therefore "just", punishment;
and this is, an ob hominem statement;
simply translated? i'm just going
to ignore the people that disagree with this
kind of "decree".
  just talk to me, when you see one man, punch
another man... dead; there's a reason for
the sport of boxing, enforcing boxing gloves.
 May 2017 Olivia L
out of nowhere
 May 2017 Olivia L
my blood cells are
volts of electricity
each time the sun comes out

my eyes are too sensitive
for anything brighter than
a mile-deep cave

i regret not getting those fancy
sunglass lens when i last
refreshed my prescription

everything is too much right now
and i really want to take a nap
 May 2017 Olivia L
Amulet Atari
I feel like an angel
Pressed down by your chest

I've been wishing for this,
So many nights on my knees
******* my sheets
And grasping my heart

I feel blessed,
The warmth of your body on mine
Soothing the cold I've been feeling

I have found heaven in your love,
I no longer hope to die,
I only hope to kiss you

Please crush me underneath your
God like gaze
I want to melt into you
And live forever

I feel like an angel,
Pressed down by your chest

Im out of breath
 May 2017 Olivia L
 May 2017 Olivia L
i don't know where to begin
and you'd then say, sarcastically -
at the beginning

time is a lie but
emotions are not

shaping me gradually
i am a sculpture
made of stone

often i feel brittle but i
know i am strong

in four years i have
grown tremendously
become better

not perfect but getting there

in the summer heat i will
grow again
turn into my better self
welcome a future full of

thank you for nine months
four times
of self-inflicted horror
and i am sorry i have
not fully appreciated the gifts
you have given me

these warmer months will give
me time to ruminate
 Apr 2017 Olivia L
Amulet Atari
 Apr 2017 Olivia L
Amulet Atari
White lace,
represents purity.
I never valued it,
Until you took your scissors
And cut the delicate fabric
To shreds.
I wish I was given the choice,
Because now
I don't have enough left,
To make a wedding dress.
I'm afraid that you've ruined my value
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