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Amulet Atari Feb 2018
Do you have no care for
A young boys feelings?
You do as you wish,
With no regard for my hurt.
Today is thrown off
By your voice
Laced with yesterday
And the knowledge
That I am alone
And I wish I could cry,
But that would ruin my act
And I try my best
To stay in character.
Amulet Atari Nov 2017
When it comes to boys
I’m always attracted to
Rare smiles, brighter than the fluorescent lighting of a hospital
I’m drawn to boys who will
Love me intensely, rubbing alcohol into my wounds
And leaving me bare
And clean,
And stinging.

When it comes to boys,
I trust too easy
Time after time they break it and
I still leave my young heart in their calloused hands,
I still sign the consent form
And watch the scalpel split my chest
I let them take and take and take
Until there’s no more blood left to give.

When it comes to boys,
I let them observe me
Plastic crinkling as their fingers move
Against my cold skin,
I let them touch me
Because I want to be touched
But maybe not by them.

When it comes to boys
I spill my guts,
To please them
And every ******* time,
They let their veins bulge from their
Slender arms,
Teasing me with the idea
That they would let me pull out
Each strand,
They never let me.
They steal each *****, each breath
And they never give me a single vessel.

Every boy I’ve ever kissed,
Has bit into me
As if I am theirs to devour
They swallow me whole,
And when it comes to boys
I am so Gullible
“It says I love you on the ceiling”
And I look up
When it comes to boys
I believe them,
Even when the lie detector
Drowns out every note
Of the songs I’ve written for them

The songs I’ve written for them,
Tear my fingers open
With every unheard strum
And still

When it comes to boys
I forgive them
Even when they
Unplug my life support
And watch me as I flatline.l
Amulet Atari Nov 2017
Your skin was cold
The last time you touched me.
Grasping desperately
At the silky stubble
Of your shaved head,
I lunged forward for anything
Any hint of who you used to be.
It hurts that you changed,
That I noticed
And said nothing
that you blamed me
And called me desperate.
It hurts that I gave you
My body, mind
And time
It hurts that you
Wasted it.
Amulet Atari Sep 2017
I need to stop basing my worth
Around one person,
Stop letting my mind
Revolve around them,
And stop allowing their personality
To consume me.
I keep growing too attached,
They hang the stars in the sky
And I look at them as if
They are all I can see.
They ARE all I can see,
I go blind with adoration
And my vision is fogged by
Heated breaths between kisses.
I need to stop letting these kisses
Define me,
They sculpt me
Build me up only to
Let me fall
These people keep leaving,
And yet again
I am a victim of identity theft.
Am I ever myself?
Amulet Atari Aug 2017
10 Things That Are More Heartbreaking Than You Leaving Me:
1. Demi Lovato's iconic bop "move me" isn't available on Apple Music
2. Sistars disbandment
3. Wonder girls disbandment
4. Developing lactose intolerance and NOT BEING ABLE TO EAT ICEBOX CAKE ANYMORE
5. When the left headphone isn't as loud as the right one???
6. Growing up
7. The look on my moms face when she realizes I've lost weight again
8. Straight girls who don't like me back because I'm trans and effeminate
9. Unfinished songs
10. Your smile. You didn't have to leave me for this to be heartbreaking, it always hurt to look at.
none of these hurt as bad but I'm trying to convince myself Things could be worse
Amulet Atari Aug 2017
you said you wanted to be in love this fall
So why did you leave right as it begun?
As the temperature drops
So does my heart
And for the first time in my life
I'm dreading the change in seasons
I hate summer,
But at least you were here for it
I feel sick to my stomach
At the thought of Halloween
Because you made plans with me
And now I have nothing.
Amulet Atari Aug 2017
Your name is burned
Into my retinas
Every time I close my tired eyes
In a futile attempt to rest my
Racing mind
I see you.
I stared straight at the sun for too long,
You gave me warmth and I thought
If I looked long enough
I would glow the way you do.
The moon passed over you
And you stopped smiling.
You stopped talking to me
And you stopped loving me.
And you left me.
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