3am
is a weird
time

you may
get angry
at the world
for every
little
injustice

you may
feel lonely
even though
you talk
with friends

you may
get nostalgic
remembering
all the times
you were careless

you may
fall in love
over and
over again

3am
is a weird
time

and yet
it is mostly
the time
you're your
purest self

if we were
the only people
in the world

would you
at least
love me
then?

it wasn't love at first sight
it happened slowly

every time
i saw you
i fell
a bit more
for you

and i am
sitting
in my bed
listening
to this song
which
makes me
think
about you

maybe
in a few
years

we will be
right
for each other


but till then
I'll have
to move on

i heard
you asked
about me

you asked when
we will see
each other
again

and i said
'soon'
as if
it was
completely
normal

that you
asked
about me

maybe you're just
really good
at hiding
your emotions

so maybe
you care
about me
more
than you
show

i thought
i can read
people
easily

but
after all
this time

i still
haven't
figured you out

i want to know
who you are

are you really
this badass
with a
softie hidden inside?

or are you
a softie
with a
badass hidden inside?

it does not matter
how much
happens

something
well hidden
and
deep
inside of me

is still not repelled
by the imagination
of an
"us"

i was
staring
at my ceiling
once again

the song
that reminds
me of you
played
as so often
quietly in
the background

and the thought
of you
laying under
the same stars
as me
was weirdly
calming

her heart
and
her mind
were fighting
a merciless war
once again

whilst she
sat somehow numb
on her bed
listening
absently
to her
favorite songs

without
her noticing
her favorite songs
always
remind her
of the person
she once
loved

her smile
isn't
bright as
the sun

her smile
is small
with
nearly
invisible
dimples

but it is
the most
genuine smile
you'll ever
see

i am looking
at
that cute picture
and i
wish
that i could see
you
everyday

I pressed
my palms
hard
against
my eyes

Desperately trying
to get you
out
of my head

But instead
I saw your
small smile
and
brown eyes
right before
me

reaching out,
our fingers
nearly
touch

just a little
bit further,
sparks fly


and i
lay alone
in bed

you weren't
there
you didn't
reach
for me

it was
just a dream
it was
just fake

It’s not
that I am
not interested
in boys
anymore

It’s just
that I
compare
every boy
that catches
my attention
to you

And they
don’t stand
even the
slightest chance

She is
like the sun

Often
beaming
but
mostly alone

I am
like the moon

Hiding in
the shadows
but
surrounded
by many

So tell me,
could an
us
work?

she
does not
laugh aloud
often

so when
she does
it is
the most
beautiful thing
to hear

and time
stands still
for just
a second

your best friend
told me

you are
really shy

but then why
are you
so open
with me?

you barely
even know
me

i know
that we
never were
together

but you
still broke
my heart

i feel
her emerald eyes
on me

and i
can't resist
the urge
to look up

so our
eyes meet
and there's
something shy
in them

it feels like
you're holding
something back
but I can't tell
what it is

when people
ask me if
i have
a type
then i don't
think about
anyone in particular

but i
still describe
you

No matter
what I tell
myself
and my friends –

You still
affect me

i want to write
i really do
it makes me feel better

but i just can't
write down
or
explain
what
i am
feeling

it's
impossible

i keep saying
that I don't love you anymore
but I still feel like before

i like
seeing you
happy

i really do;
it makes you
even more
beautiful

but i wish
it was me
instead
of him

who is
the reason
of your happiness

if I'd lose everything
if I had nothing to give;

I would still ask
for your help

and yet
i still
overthink
and
overreact
over
things you do
even though
i shouldn't

SOMEHOW

you blow away
my confidence

is it just me
or
does your smile
get cuter
every time
i see you?

those looks
those smirks
those laughs
those signs that you could like me

are getting me to
overthink
&
daydream
&
fantasize

and then
there's the fact
that
you have a girlfriend

and my dreams
burst
as if
they are
nothing.

and, well,
they kinda are

maybe i just
make it sound
like you do like me
because
i like
this
twisted version
more
than the truth

MAYBE & IF
i kinda hate these words

they promise hope
when there's none

they promise possibilities
which don't exist

but mostly
they make you
daydream
&
fantasize
when you want to
escape from
the truth
&
reality

sometimes i quit writing
because it kinda hurts

because i can't have
what i write

not with you

i feel like
your eyes
say more
than
thousand words

and they
tell more
than
you say

and i wonder

if 'you think (?)' about
'me too.'

if 'you feel (?)' the same
'i do.'

if 'you talk about me (?)'
the way
'i talk about you.'

i am losing my mind;

i dreamt about you

i saw you
for a split second

and i smiled
like an idiot

it’s 12am
and i’m sitting in my bed
with nothing
but my headphones on
and an idea of
you and me

my head
and
my heart
are in a
merciless war

those
*******
winks

staring at the stars,
grinning,
dreaming,
thinking 'bout you

maybe it is just a crush
a big one

cause my feelings seem to
fade with time

but then
you catch my eye
and the feelings
are back

i thought i don't feel
that much
anymore

i didn't think that much
about you
anymore

but then
i have this dream
and my heart tells me

he's still important to you

my heart
keeps holding on
whilst
my head
is letting go

again and
again and
again and
...

it feels like i know you
well,
even though
i don't

isn't it crazy,
how our heart
always desires something
we can't have?

head full of thoughts
heart full of butterflies
mouth full of silence