We were caught
In a torrential downpour
Running for cover
I bolted for the door
When you finally appeared
I turned to my left
To see you standing there
Clothes drenched
Hand running through
Your short blond hair
Water rolling down your neck
And all I wanted
Was to kiss
The Cheshire grin
Spread mile wide
Right off your lips.

My feelings start and end
Like a dead engine
That’s been brought back to life again
I can make excuses for the mistakes
Attached to my name
But what good would it do
If I don’t fix them
Until your lips turn blue?

The smell of your cancer
Lingers in my hair
Shaved it off
So maybe someday
I can feel
Your fingers
Despair.

The thought never crossed my mind
That one day
I might not see you again
That I wouldn’t hear you
Lovingly say my name
Or feel your hand in mine
Suddenly
Like an eroding beach
You disappeared
Your voice an echo
Ringing through my ears
The lack of your presence
Present when I wake
No “good morning“
Or “Sweet dreams“
Just a hollow piece of my soul
Lingering by the door.

It’s the disappointing feeling you get
When a phenomenal movie is over
Or hearing a song you relate to
And realize it’s about to end
You know you can always play them again
But nothing will ever compare to the first time.

Tell me to count to the number
Of days since you’ve been gone
A game of hide and seek
You will always win
Because you’re never
Coming back again.

Your name lingers on my mind
Like the damage done by a hurricane
And I think maybe if I use an understudy
To replace the feelings I harbored
You’ll dissipate into the sea
Instead of projecting ghosts
That do nothing but haunt me
There must be an end
To this desolate labyrinth
Where I meet you at the beginning
And start over again.