If you spit blood
while brushing your teeth:
it could be a sign
of gum disease.

And if you feel
pain and distress
it might be a sign
that you're depressed.

And if you are
anything like me,
it could be a sign.
It might just be.

If you ache
and you don't know why,
it could be sign
that you need to cry.

And if you cry
and there's no relief,
it could be a sign,
that like a thief
life has taken its toll
and its becoming too much;
and now you've grown
cold to touch.

If this sounds
anything like you
it's probably a sign,
that there are two.
That together we fall.
and that what you're going through,
is nothing new;
so hold onto something,
anything,
and I will, too.

I remember the last day,
The last day I looked you
In the eyes

I remember the last day
You smiled and laughed at
What I said

I remember the last day
I heard the sound of your voice and the touch
Of your skin against mine

Oh how the last day of my happiness ended,
It haunts me
Every night
Every day

I feel lost
Without your love

6-25-15

Depression is the teddy bear you get as a little kid that you still seem to keep around as a bed decoration no matter how old you are
You sleep on it
Cry on it
Squeeze it
You're never able to let it go
It clings to you like an old memory that you never want to forget
You feel sick for loving it because you feel you've moved on
But you haven't and you think about it every day and you can't sleep because it stares at you in the eyes every time you try and whispers "no one cares" and you eat it up like your favorite left overs

Anxiety is the spine you carry in your back that bends and twists in ways you never thought
You feel agile and alive but other times it's a burden that weighs you down and you feel you could snap at any second
People try to help you but you bend over backwards trying to fix yourself but it just never ******* works so you blame yourself thinking you cannot be saved

Paranoia is the constant fear I have that all my friends aren't my friends
It's the feeling that all the right people hate me and all the wrong ones praise me
That looking at him and his friends makes me so jealous, I believe that he never wants to talk to me again that I'm just a problem, a text that he rolls his eyes at whenever he sees it's me messaging him

And the worst part is that it feels like home
When I'm engulfed in the thoughts I have when I'm alone I can't help but smile because my problems are all I know

I dream about your eyes staring into mine
As if there is no world around us.
I dream about your lips pressed against mine
As if there is fire burning between us.
I dream about your fingers interlocked with mine
As if no one can ever stop this love between us.
I dream about you all the time
Because only in my dreams you are mine.