Rip away the flesh that clothes this unclean soul

Raw muscles and veins exposed only to realise, beauty is not only skin deep.
The dying soul that hides behind this flesh, this facade,
Rotten and decaying

I realise it is not some poor soul only to be given my slight sympathy from afar
But my own

Silence is nothingness, yet it speaks
A million words packed into a mere few seconds which seem to last a painful infinity
Your silence it speaks, it is manufactured to torture
Your eyes filled with hate
Now here I stand, begging you to speak, something, anything, but nothing all the same

I was strong, you made me weak
You broke my barriers down to an empty husk
I let you in, and you grabbed on tight to my heart
You tugged me back to your game every time I tried to get away.

I was broken, you played on it.
False concern.

Pulling me further into your game
Your lips pressed against mine,
Deeper once again.
Your smile which lit up your face in turn lit up my heart as I thought I was the cause of it
The glint in your eye as I could not retaliate against your jokes
Your grandiose delusions of your own self worth
and your narcissistic ways,
all drew me in further

You're magnetic

******* brought a life back into me which I had never known before
A racing pulse
A want
A need for you, for your skin against mine

But I was a distraction,
Your little quick fix of attraction
I could never be her,
I could never do what she did to you

I'm not enough.

Holding me close
Our breath mingling in the cold winter air
Fingers laced together
You kiss my head
Although the night is cold the stars shine for us,
Just for tonight

I sit here in the darkness

There is no sound, no movement, only thoughts
The thoughts which are filled with regret
The guilt, the disgust

I sit here in the darkness

I claw at my skin, attempting to rip it all off, to be clean
If I ripped away every shred of skin and muscle I still would not be free
I want to be clean
I claw at my thoughts, begging for silence inside my mind
My soul shrieks and claws at my brain forcing me to feel
I don't want to feel

I crave forgiveness
I sit here in the darkness