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You know a lot of people in my life want to change who they are,
And I get that I used to think that, looking at others from afar.

One of the things I’ve learned from wanting to be you,
Was that you are hurt and broken too.

You always think someone else has a better life,
But most times they are just better at hiding the knife.

We are all walking around with our broken pieces,
If you actually saw the population of the broken increases.

Being someone else doesn’t mean you’ll be healed,
It just means your deep dark memories will be sealed.
 Apr 2021 CrackedMoonboy
Raven
Me
 Apr 2021 CrackedMoonboy
Raven
Me
No food
No sleep
I can't let these things reach out and speak sweet lies
I can't let food call my name
I can't let sleep drown my thoughts

I shouldn't eat
I can't sleep

This is me

I am broken girl
Who can't eat
In fear I weigh too much

I am a broken girl who can't sleep
For my thoughts and memories
Haunt me too much

I am a broken girl who answers 'how are you?'
With 'I'm alright' even when I'm not even close
Because I don't want you to worry
I don't want you to fret
Over a broken soul

I am a broken girl who says 'I have been busy'
when someone asks me why I haven't done something
I have been busy just not in the way they think
I have been busy trying not to give into hunger
I have been busy fixating on how I'm broken
I have been busy
But not in the way they think

I am a broken girl who has let her demons
creep up on her too much

I am a broken girl who has surrendered
her soul

I am a broken girl who dates so she feels
worth something because I don't when I'm alone

I date because I need to depend on someone
Because I am not dependable for anyone
Let alone myself

I date so I can hear someone say I love you
So I can hear someone call me beautiful
Cute
Amazing
And so many other things
Even if I don't believe it

I am a broken girl who has lost so many relationships
Five to death
And so many others just because they left
I was no longer good enough
No longer happy enough
No longer
PRETENDING

I am a broken girl who pretends
And when I stop people leave

Because I am too broken

I am too clingy

I am too demanding

I'm just not enough

Or I'm too much

THIS IS ME

But no one sees
Until I let them

And when I do they worry

But please don't worry
Because you didn't when you didn't know
So why worry now?

I'm still the same me
You just couldn't see all the flaws that my eyes do

You don't see the way I do

I see a girl who's eyes are too big

I see a girl who isn't thin enough

I see a girl who's hair doesn't suit her no matter what

I see a girl with too many scars

I see a girl
But I don't

For all I can see now is a walking flaw

And no one knows that
THIS IS ME
April/ 19/ 2018/ 10:19 AM
 Apr 2021 CrackedMoonboy
adriana
It just rained
Bullets
Puddles in the streets
Blood
Water falls down
Tears
 Apr 2021 CrackedMoonboy
teni
maybe people are meant
to fall in love
but not meant
to be together.

i was coming to terms with this
only to find out
we werent in love.
i was.
you never loved me
you didnt feel anything for me
you tried to,
but loving someone isnt something
you can make happen.

we always said we were meant to be, right?
soulmates
perfect for each other
you said our love was pure
and real
and unbreakable.
look at it now,
its shattered.

falling in love with you
was the easiest thing
ive ever done.
falling out of love
will be the hardest.
i guess the [lovers] code has been cracked.
Once there was a girl going through a hell of a storm,
She sat in the rain trying her best to keep warm.

She was so great at acting like she was perfectly okay,
She could smile so brightly and you'd never know someone went away.

Smiling was her best way to fake, while scratching was her only way to cope,
She tried to grab onto the ladder but it fell quickly, as it did so did her hope.

It's a funny little poem I've written, because in case you didn't see,
This girl lying through the smiles is actually just me.
My father walked me down the aisle,
But my mother held my arm.
He went with me,
But we went not towards the altar,
But towards the door.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And the ***** rang through the church,
Humming through the elaborate crown molding,
Carved by my ancestors.

He went,
Not beside me,
But before me,
And I watched,
As he was illuminated by the bright,
Overbearing,
Texas sun.

My father walked me down the aisle,
But I did not wear white.
My father walked me in silence,
And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar,
But for the one I would never see again.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And no veil obscured my face.
All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty,
Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow,
Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes.

My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother.
She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly,
Loudly,
Unavoidably,
And I carried her with one hand,
My sister the other,
And walked towards my future.
A future family,
Not one person more,
But one person less.
I walked,
One final time,
With him.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And I will never forget it.
Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd,
Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart,
Blurred faces staring,
Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church,
The anguished wails of my mother,
The whimpering of my sister,
And the wooden box that glided before us,
Pulling,
A string tied to our patriarch,
The pin key of our family,
Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors.

My father walked me down the aisle,
Before I had a chance to grow up.
He walked me,
Out of the church,
Away from the altar,
Never to be walked again.
I've been off on a twisted adventure,
Finding the best way to reach my center.

It feels like I've been completely alone,
I feel like there are still so many unknowns.

Do I feel any change happening?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just imagining.

I'm working hard to try something completely new,
It's really weird to be working on myself to.
As midnight approaches
a calm floats over the terrain,
with the sweet sounds of night
and the patter of light rain.

Getting lost in the musical tones
thoughts drip of soft dew,
memory tickling giggles
a moment of Déjà vu.

A peacefulness through the heart
outside, the wind a soothing sound,
the light tapping of warm rain
hearts loving, souls bound.

Hearts of love, souls of light,
a touch of magic, rhythm and rhyme,
enchanting dreams, fill the night,
of love so beautifully divine.
~
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