I've built this wall up for so long that I'm only now realizing that every brick I used was filled with the memories you left me

I find it hard to keep my head on the level
          Keep thinking,
waiting for the second I lose my mental
     Missing some thoughts about you
Memory got shot, a drive-by from what the last guy put me through
     And some of the blood left a few stains
Bruises and scars but it ain't the same thang
            The marks everyone else can see ain't nothing compared to the rips and tears deep inside of me
       The stains on my soul turning what used to make me whole
          into something ***** and cold
      No amounts of bleach or scrubbing can make me forget
Nothing can help me escape from
             the laundry list of regrets
It beats me up inside,
       causes more, new and fresh bruises
               with every nightmare
And no matter how many dreams I have between,
         I can't seem to get there
To that place of no longer looking back,
            of thinking about the past
Cause some trauma tends to define
      what your **happiness lacks

She saw a rainbow where he could only see black.
But together, they made a frame, keeping their picture perfect life intact.

She saw the sun where he was always captivated by the moon.
But together, they made each other's wishes come true and not a moment too soon.

She saw smiles where he drowned in the sadness of eyes.
But together, they made laughter and found truth amongst a million lies.

She saw beauty where he could only see regrets and pain.
But together, they made a life that could always be and would always remain.

She saw him where he would always find her.
And together, they made happiness that could span galaxies forever.

Vibrant-
Illuminate
A slight chill in the air-
Jump into the sea below you say I wouldn't dare,
But the rocks below are just a detourant for those not willing to take a risk.
My fight has been humble though I have been humbled many a times,
And my battle has been pretty prolonged.
Here I am, Inclined to inform you of who I am today.

I am a San Diego sunrise
Pastel hues that paint the early morning skies
Each color,
Soft-
Or vibrant and bright,
Represents my personality on a spectrum:
Calm and reserved to outgoing and extroverted.
The exuberant sun reflecting off the ocean is passion.
This image is poetry in the making.
My passion is in fact poetry.
The ocean below is intensity-
The waves crashing upon the white California sand in a continuous, mellifluous soundtrack,
Just as I continuously strive to succeed in all I do.
Failure has never been an option for me.
The soundtrack of the waves is not only my love and desire for the ocean waves, but my need for music-
All music-
Any music.

The sun rising to the top of the sky demonstrates my sky is the limit attitude in Life and the fact that I have always had the tenacity to go after what I want whether it be finally playing college athletics after a career ending ankle reconstruction surgery, or maintaining my drive to go to law school.

Finally the sun setting at the end of the day and disappearing into darkness represents how even in dark times I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.
Darkness only lasts for so long and the sun will once again rise to display its beauty, candor and potential.
The sun is optimistic for each coming day and continues to rise even after it falls, as do I.

As a sailboat sets sail out of the harbor I feel the sun warming my soul and I know that I can continuously rise to any occasion to make it smooth sailing.

San Diego is in my heart and saltwater is in my veins-
It does not make sense for me to be anything other that a magnificent San Diego sun rise above the glistening pacific coast.

This pencil
This paper
Looks just like coke and razors

I write so much I can't feel your kiss
I'm not attached to humanity
Except through this bleeding heart
That I'm slowly whittling away
It's taking shape of something so ******* beautiful

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******

This apathy
These scars
Tattoos of times I've been torn apart

I ache for human touch
But every nerve has been severed
I close myself inside
Your ****** up mind
And watch your memories in silence
What we made is so decayed and rotten
We denied life to what we'd forgotten
I can't look at my reflection without slitting its throat
I remember what you told me and I quote:

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******

This love
Those emotions
Can't find which hole in my heart they go in

I balance my life on the edge of a blade,
I get cut and nicked
No matter which turn I take
I'm teetering, watching myself bleed
It leads me to believe that smile was always fake
There was no right time to deny the lies I regretted
Self destruction was the first defense I hated
As I see all these lines blurred in my head
Thinking back to what you said...

But you always say I'm killing myself
That I'm in denial
Crocodile tears and a plastic smile
For a while you fool yourself into thinking you're right
For a while you fall for your own *******