I wear my heart on my scarred and tethered sleeve
I rest my heart under my favorite shirt
The one I bought for a day out

That never panned out

I dangle my heart over a juxtaposition of what was once you and me

Clearly
I'm qualified to handle my issues
Alone

Behold all the moments I cried out for help and not one soul listened

I debated suicude
Along side my mothers guidance

I buried my heart under all those back & forth arguments
Steming from voids we shall not cement in truth

Her and I are better now
I dabble in silence towards backtalk and a slick tongue

Sometimes her volume still demands too much from my teetering patience

But ****** I love her

Like I loved them

Fragrance

A gift today
A scent long forgotten

A heart beat tranquilizer
That's what love foretold

When you lose someone
You wonder
What it'll take to reel them back in

To foresee a journey

Another one entails fashionable corruption

Mind boggling desecration

I lost to who
I lost two
I lost too many times

Only when you've lost everyone, you gain yourself

A carousel fairytale ride
Each roundabout
Noticing loss of smiling faces to each child
That's my life to this point summed up entirely

Each yearly roundabout

You're becoming farther out of my reach
I preach to the masses you become farther without the first "r" for me

I'm ready to wear my heart revamped and revealed
For everyone to caress and undress

Peeling away my surrender

I rest my heart on yours

Going at it alone
It's not unnessacary
     Just unwanted
Not ideal

Climb inside my cat tongue

Glass shards chewed to grinds of sand 

Numb mouth appraisal
                 Saliva
      Red ocean
Desolate salt
Burning wounds that heal and
beautifully scar

Smile lavishly
And unwind to cope unbridled pageantry

    Climb
In my infectious bed

A
Women's
Choice of  another
Man

Value the worthless
And purchase the free

Envy towards treason
Begging of reason
                                     Foward
In translation
As to why
It isn't you
Where they
       Lie

Breeding conversations
That silence Moans to

Quivering, a last place
Talent show performance

Climb inside my cacoon of birth
Nourishment of a soul bent on destruction
Fair legs, whiskers abandoned

A ritualistic burial
Caved in wonder
Surrendering wealth for serenity
Decapitation of envy
A Conqueror beast
and coward in the same vessel

Suicide hides elated frenzy

Climb
Inside my request of forgiveness
                       In all
My clouded and mistaken innocence.

I force creativity
Squeezing juice
From the most sour lemon

I untangle withered bonds within myself

Sacred and unscathed

Naked

Myself
Mundane

I found a reflection and it looked like a happier me

Naked

Socialite ideals

Sustain value

A Legendary secondary obituary

I've gotten better at conjuring conjuctions

Because
no one told me otherwise

But
who knows

Where
no one is

Unless
No one is

Everyone

Or

Everyone

Is

No one

While
I'm

Someone

Where
is my

One?

I

Dont see no one

And
I wont leave until I

See Someone

Fellowship wanderer.
Longing a basket of mended smiles and screams of loyalty in chastised promise.

Victory shall be granted to you when you've lost everything dear.

Don't step outside today, friend.

Love inside.

For you shall win today.

Chasing the sun
Decayed Trees

Fevered Buildings

Chasing the sunset

Maddening isn't it

I've seen the same road and I glide amongst it
Not bitter

Not feverish
Cold and wet

Soggy yet
Subdued

Broadening your voice with my tongue

A Game of wonder and amazement
Dont chase what's not running
Chase the sunset

I think you misunderstood my blunt force trauma

You saw an act of violence and deemed it

Cold And Cruel

You saw aftermath

The premise would sway your perspective

Moments ago
As I was walking down the crosswalk
      I made eye
             contact with this man
I
                             Said hello with
            A smile
And he said
                                      Hi with a smirk

Year of decadence
Faring in minuscule commraderie
Regarding the fundamentals of life and her excrusciating truth

There's desire to be lied to
Ne'er knowing

Untrue banish silently
Keep the beggar of gradeur loud
Aroused in kindled emotion
Very
The treachery devised of vivid dreams
Awake
Bury
Falling from the cliff you captured on Vacation as a Wild child
Reaching the bottomless pit that keeps you sinking like it missed you so
Haunting you until you frighten it away
And its fearless
Last epoch

The dead decay a vicious smile
They made it out alive

We're still here surviving, dying

We 
Soldiers of peace
Exists in our ears
Noise of
War quotes from the madmen veterans
Bolstering of pride and dignity in their ongoing
Neverending fight
We ask, "What did you fight for?"
They remembered once
Forgotten twice in months

They
Scared of their own fingers that once pulled triggers
They cannot hold their own anymore
Mold the home
To warms their bones
She's kept em fed with crumbs of a sandwich
Crying cold tears as we were born alone
Ain't life a....

You miss my face

Gardening the battered soil in which we raced
upon

Rejoice the fermented fruits of your labor

All the hard work has paid off

But paying your dues was never in mind

Never mine to tax

You missed my face
When you dared to strike me

My words seethe your melted soul

I speak wisdom and righteous buffoonery
It's a demented balance

Like your framework
Blissful harmony
Harvesting organs
Organizing abortions
Choosing life over creation

Take no offense
It's the buffoonery acknowledging
Wisdom & Innovation

We listen to what we
Can not hear

We hear what we
Can not understand

We understand what we
Can not obtain

Like my face
My dashing face
That you can not
      Look in the eye no more

Fuzzy Pixel creatures
Immaculate
Telling in psychosis

Wandering nature
Setting up camp
Makeshift fields
Trying times
Scavenging wandering
Your only goal
Finding home
Remembrance

Hunger sets in
Your stomach speaks
A beast like growl

Sinking teeth into veins of a forbidden fruit
That found  
                         You

That first contact to tongue
Taste of home
Texture of wood
Contents of nostalgia
Recipe for disaster

When you reminisce
You're allowing
Everything
Everyone to pay a visit

Unwelcome and seldom
Unbroken
Unlike your mental

You're now drawn away from previous settlement
Transported trauma
You're where you've never abandoned

A shiver trembles your vessel

You follow the eerie sound
With your empty eyes
And find yourself looking straight ahead

A screeching voice so familiar crawling out the pitch black alleyway
On sensitive instinct alone you dare there
to be
In the distance a scene of bodies
Swaying
Trembling closer

Yet motionless

A convenient twitching streetlight above
It's your only given clarity
You blink ,You die
You concur

You hear echoes brushing though your scalp like razorblades

It tickles
You belch
A laughter
Melancholy and gently horrific

You now understand where you are
It's where you've been
Suddenly you feel an itch on your left wrist

You look down after tending to it
And the dead rotten flesh once there
Has been parted with

Underneath the darkest blood
There's a branded etching on your wrist

Blood connects the last letter of each word As if it was written
In the most gorgeous cursive

It reads: "Home is my playground.
                 The ground is my home.
                       Can I finally play?"

Dandelion salad
Kindness crunch
Heaven bless
Lessen bliss

I miss our quarrels
Contemplated
Temporary
******

Lost my sensibility
It cost me few
Cost you totality

Mindful of our meticulous
Merry go 'round

Velvet cheeks
Blush in moonlight
Your hair covering your
Eyes
Irises ever changing appearance

A goddess before me

You
Infinite
Inhumane
Intelligent

I
Deceived
Delicate
Delivered

We
Were
Mortal

I wonder how my ancestors feel
Knowing their escape from home
Would lead
To children ***** in cages

Traced
Nameless
Unheard of conditions
Like their rabid dogs

But really puppies still needing their mothers milk

Who made those cages you call sanctuary
Who made those tinfoil sheets you call warmth
Who made those regulations?
Ripping the child from their parents grip
I've seen the ******* pictures
Those kids were strangling their mothers and fathers in order to not let go

There's no need for translation
This is universal
These children are treated like felons
With no warrant
No warning

Is this justice?
Does my so called president get off to this?

Is he not satisfied enough with his spray tan?

He takes it out on us?

I wake up in my bed
Every day I cant fathom
The nightmare those children wake up to
Alone with others like that look just like them.
Looking in the reflection their tears molded onto the shivering pavement

I cant even imagine

The thoughts that may race through their young and impressionable minds

Do they think they deserve it?
Do they think this is their fault?

If and when they do finally escape

How scarred will they be?

They already have a criminal record for being born

How will they survive in a society that imprisoned them before given an education

Before given a ******* a chance.

My expectations
Present me
With a
Shared Sharp Shard
Of Glass

As rotten blood trickles down
Each spectacle

Overwhelming evidence
Seeps in each
Prickling crack

Blood wheeps
Floorboard creaks
It's the mailman
What a creep

First and foremost
Consensually
I will smother your canvas in painted handprints
Dignified touch
Such risks
Blue blood
Sincere matrimony
A cost
That the poor will pay to see
They'll amuse it to be

Fine tasting toilet water

Line dancing on eggshells

Flat footed *******
We'll make this exhibit our beautiful disaster

Maybe I ate too much that night
Maybe I acted immature
Maybe I didn't consider you feelings
Maybe I loved you
Maybe I hate myself

That May be

Maybe I wanted that phone call to last one more minute
Maybe I didn't want you to be a lesson learned
Maybe I could lose a couple pounds
Maybe I could dress different
Maybe I should grow my hair out

That may be

Maybe I could've opened that car door
Maybe I fought the unwinnable
Maybe I cried too loud
Maybe I texted too fast
Maybe I believed in us

That may be

Maybe I am insane
Maybe I needed more time
Maybe I listened to the wrong people
Maybe I can make it to you
Maybe I can have one more chance

That may be

May I

The moon tonight is crescent
The color is viridescent
The Earth watches the moon as it mimics
Watch out now moon
Don't grab a sponge and soak up our blue
Don't defy the laws of physics

Why steal the liquid
You're already blue
You're depressed like a squid
What's water to swim in gonna do
You're in solitary like an orphan kid
Nobody wants you

The blue consumed you moon
I'm sorry
The Sun awakens around noon
Greeted by billions
However, when you awaken
You have to implore those who doze
To not leave you so soon

The Earth uses you time after time
You're aware
But you come right back every night as if everything is fine
The Earth holds an annual fair
And you just step in line
Fairly, you only attend to commence a diversion
To steal the liquid

Why steal the liquid
You're already blue
You're depressed like a squid
What's water to swim in gonna do
You're in solitary like an orphan kid
Nobody wants you

Like an absent father
You're a bother
Unlike those who visit the moon dune beach
That's water you cannot steal even if you beseech
Listen here moon
Don't bother the mosquito that flies throughout the dune

The spin to my records, Scream

Makes it all easier

To face the music

Relentless trouble

And I drown it all out with noise

A choice between Hell and America

Heaven now too good for anyone

I perish between

The perfect and righteous

The flawed, Rip the hostages

I've trapped

In my mind

They are chained and scarred by my mistakes

That in the moment were choices opposed

To a dead end

My screams now level

Only an octave higher

From the massacre I've deserved

I've been targeted

After...

All the abuse and trauma I caused

How could I have known then?

My mind once creating scenarios on how

I'd sceme my way into getting what I craved

I, deprived of what was not needed

Just wanted it so bad

Those I've hurt

I'd never hurt again

If given all tools and resources to do such

I'd use them upon my soul

To dispose of reek planted by shame

You live and learn

And all my knowledge now

Is put on hold until

Their hurt

Mirrors mine

Resembling

Shattered plastic

Because I'm stubborn

And Glass too fragile

Reminds me of a relic reflection