you tried so hard to be a girl, didn't you?
you tried to help them like you.
you tried to get them to stop.
you tried to keep her as your friend.
but did it help?
was it worth it?
did you succeed?
you never asked for anything.
you never asked for help.
you always pretended to be happy, even the morning after you tried to slit your throat.
you always blamed the cuts on your cat.
you stayed with the friends who manipulated you because at least you had someone.
you cried to yourself every night because of how much it hurt.
because nobody cared.
because they weren't seeing you.
you kept telling yourself
that it was almost over.
but it never was.
oh, how i wish i could go back in time and tell you
that it would get better.
that you would find people who loved you.
that you would come out,
you would cut your hair,
and you would be happy for a while.
oh, how i wish i could tell you not to trust her.
she seemed nice but she ****** us up.
oh, how i wish i could tell you
that you should have been yourself
even if they hurt you.
because it was so, so worth it in the end.
oh, how i wish i could tell you that they weren't worth your time.
that you were amazing the way you were.
that you didn't have to change yourself for them.
you had to be yourself.
the right people will come.
oh, dear younger me,
how i wish i could tell you that it gets better.
this has been in my drafts for a while and it was annoying me so i posted it so here it is