Lust
       On
            Fingertips
                      Is Better
            Than
       Love
From
        *Lying Lips

by definition,
lust is
extreme ****** desire for someone

by nature,
lust is
uncontrollable...
I'm attracted to my thirty-seven year old male teacher
and my eighteen year old male coworker
and the quirky girl who sits behind me in history,
what?

by religion,
lust is
a sin, punishable by Hell,
whatever that is.

lust is unavoidable,
but socially unacceptable to act upon.

Good morning my sweet girl is time for you to take a shower and cry the rest of your heart out because of that guy who isn't worth half of a tear. Open the faucet completely so your parents can't hear your hopeless cry.
The shower is over, step out of it and dry every single part of your body, including your soul. I'm not sure if a towel will be enough to do so.
Then put on your mask of shades and dusts on your face, that one you call makeup. Put it in, become someone else. Some shades over here, a little bit of lipstick and voilá! No trace of a tear.
Now the most important part, smile, my dear. Smile as if you were truly happy. Pretend that you don't give a **** about anything or anyone. Pretend that how you look expresses your inside. Prettend that you never cry, that your life is amazing and that you're a bad girl.
Lie, lie to everybody. Lie to your mom about not wanting to go to school anymore. Lie to your friends about that guy who's crying for you. Lie to the world... But you can't lie to yourself. And for you that part is  the worst.

I once held an angel in my hands. She was the most luminous, beautiful and fragile creature my eyes have beheld. I could not wrap my head around the fact that someone like her could exist in the same universe as someone like me. The whole time I held her she looked fine. She looked comfortable. Whenever when I'd adjust my hands or move my arms she'd hold on to me even tighter. She always had the brightest smile. And I swear her eyes held all the light there is in the universe. She seemed happy in my arms. But one day I notice her wings had burn signs and had started to fall apart. I asked her if she was fine and without hesitation she said she was fine. But I knew I was the one who caused those scars. One day she was holding tight and with her big smile, and without warning I opened my arms. I will never forget the look on her face when I let go. She looked betrayed, hurt and even a bit disappointed. I tried to explain that it was for her own good. That I had held her down for too long. That things like me should be near creatures like her, for there's always damage to be done. I never saw her since then, but I pray to every god there ever was, there is and there will ever be that one day she understands that I did it for her.

They all went and they passed.
They were my blessings,
lessons
saviors
and my downfalls too.
They gave me
calmness and happiness,
before putting me straight in
the eye of the hurricane.
They gave me a lot to remember,
those who came before you.
They were a lot of things,
but there's one thing
they never were.

And now, you are my heart,
my soul,
my peace,
a part of my dreams.
You are my laughter
and my tears.
You are the songs that I sing
and the words that I bleed.
You are my weakness
and my greatest strength.
But the most important thing
that you are,
that no one ever was before -

You are my home.

This pain in my chest,
The feeling of disgust,
I have it all the time.
I cant sleep,
Paranoia the whole night,
I cant have friends,
Or a life.
Im too insane,
and too unworthy.
        j.b

I am sitting at the table.
                                                looking at my microwave food.


                                         I am eating it raw...

                                                           Cause five minutes is too long.

            when Depression is whispering in your ears.

                                I am happy that I even made it out of the bed.

which mean I was strong enough. To fight against the darkness.

                      That usually P
                                               U
                                                  L
           ­                                     L
                          ­                    S
                                          
                                             M
                                                 E

                                                 D
                                               O
                                                W
             ­                                      N
      
                                       ...Into an oblivion prison...



Where                                 -Loneliness-                         is my only cellmate.
                                            

                                            
I am sitting at the table.

                                                        W­ISHING
                                                          ­                     U
That I someday will gain the power to stand P
                                                                ­                    ...against the sickness...

                                                 That  ç̗̟̲̱̰͈̹̻͎͆̃̒͌͛̆̌̀̽͠o̧͇̤̘̳̱̹̟͉̼͆̿̌̄̔͒̂́͌͑ṟ̯̰̙̙͈̂̂̈́̋̆̌̊̓̐̀­̼̬̟̩ŕ̛̬̖̙̣̮͖̤̰̱̊̇̅̈́̽̇̈̑ͅu̗̙̯̙̙͍͇̦̗̤̅̅͛̈́́̓͒̇͆͝p̡̢̧̘͇̝̙̜̈͐̅́̏̀̊̿͘͝­̨̱t̨̡̡̧̲̮̗͖̳͎͒͐̄̍͑̈́͊͋͂͝s̡̜̤͚̳͇͎̤͓̓̓͗̃̏̐̈́̇̆͜͝ my heart...




...