I didn't know
I couldn't foresee
How much I would hate you
Each word that leaves your pale lips
Grinds into my gritted teeth
Pinches at my unwanting ears
And pulls at my unspoken tongue
Willing me to conjure a flame ridden truth, your way
But I will hold back
As you will only make me feel crazy
Crazy for feeling
Crazy for not wanting you near
Insane for stating your presence now makes me sick
But that is the truth
They are my feelings
And you will invalidate them

I always said that I could never fall for someone in one night
But that night I fell for you
Your wide brown eyes
And your mouse brown hair
Softened something within me
Sadly,
You wish I was older
And I wish you were younger
Then we could have fallen deeper
Into each other
The way we want to
To feel a love so pure
It would be impossible to ask for more
But now we have parted ways
Never to cross paths again
Still I think about that kiss
And the butterflies that fluttered within the cavities of my body when you held me
But age isn't just a number
It comes between
I wish it didn't
But it does

Touch me
Love me, or at least tell me you do
Lie to me
And let me disappear
In this moment  
Craving the touch of a stranger
In the night
Pain, with pleasure as my relief
I know I'm mistaken
But I need him to numb me
Numb me enough to get through my days
Because this shallow sting will remain
And I will bear the stains
Of a secret lover
Who I will only be there for, in the sheets
And him, for me
In the night
Returning to the cold of mine
Oh, how bittersweet
This shall be
Love me, In The Night

I'll be waiting for that day

The day when I don't even care
whether someone really screamed your name
or it's just a stranger with the similar name

The day when I don't even bother to cry at night
when people remind me about us

The day when I put smile on my face
and you're not the reason behind it

The day when I can lay my head down,
without feeling sad
without sheding a tear

The day when I run
not because of the things I've been avoiding
but because of the things I've been pursueing - before I met you

The day when my world
doesn't revolve around you.

I'll be waiting

"How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"Are you really?"*

                 ...

And I am left speechless.