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Eric Jan 2019
Is it right to have suicidal thoughts?
And having feelings of being lost.
Stuck in my head reading the same passage.
From a note I wrote in the past .
When things were hazy, but still the love last.
Now beaten and torn . I feel like giving up.
I feel like going to that place ,
Where everyone says my past can be erased.
Sadly even when I do , it won't be like that.
I've done wrong in my time .I deserve some torture.
But it's all the same here Apon this Earth . It's all torture . Live everyday with stress and anguish. I'll die without receiving my first wish. Is it right to have suicidal thoughts like this?
Eric Jan 2019
6 years ago when I fell Apon love .
5 mistakes were like a million .
4 letters in the word love .
3 reasons why I can't live without you.
2 is us as we were one.
1 meaning to all of this .

I Love You
I as in myself a imperfect being
Loves
You as to me the most perfect being for me.
7 billion people in this world
And I want you
I need you
My souls body of essence craves your very presence.
And I'm here now
After all that's said and done
The war we couldn't put out
Has won
I in hospital bed
Praying for the next day not to arrive
Because you refuse to see me
Even know you've been what's keeping
Me alive
I wish I could forget that I'm that guy
I wish there was such things as
Spreading your wings and flying
No, I'm so grounded that I forgot there
Was solid ground
Now every where I go
I fall into these holes , these voids
You left in the road to my heart.
Now that roads untravable
But it's not your fault
I have lost my way anyway.
Eric Jan 2019
My soul has dropped it's heart,
Tried to pick it back up .
But it turned into dust ,
And flew away .
Eric Jan 2019
When someone tells you they love you
What does that mean to you ?
It means
I lose everything
I lose my very being
I lose everything I'm used to seeing
But love you decieve me
Tricked me into contentment
Believing I was comfortable
High Apon my feet shouting with Glee
But you decieved me.
Now I am alone
Not making a move
Because it comes with a fee
You take it so easily
As I crumble
With every part of me
I'm lost
The cost
Is too much
I let go
And forget I breath
I thought I was better
To know
When I was decieved.
Eric Jan 2019
You'd think I'd learn from turning off all my lights.
Eric Jan 2019
That feeling I love so much , that feeling of your touch.  Your smell sends me into complete comfort. But you always make me feel like it's my turn . To say something unimaginable , just to hurt you . When all you've said was things to hurt me too . And you've done that , and you'd think that's enough . But no she wants to make everything rough . She takes to my pleading like it's venom to her veins, when all I want her to know is that she causes me so much pain. But she don't care and that's what destorys me , I ask her how could it be . You said you love me . But destory every part of my being . And I let go , like I wasn't enough . You hurt me with your way of love . Forgive me for everything I gave up . Just i make you comfortable when you still thought I wasn't enough.
And I ramble through anything to make things better . They ask me how can I let her . Because love isn't just a one go getter . You felt whole till you got a missing peice . Just disappeared without a trace . Even know you still had a home in the first place . And I'm the disgrace . You family hates me , and will find anyone to replace . Me....I'm not me anymore , you've made me so sore , that even flying doesn't get me happy . I rather have a hundred women slap me . Then have you hate me . But forgive me . I've forgot who I was . But love is no more in me . Like you wanted it to be..... like I forgot how it felt to be yours in time . Eternity isn't the same when , I'm still traveling the world saying I'm fine .
Eric Jan 2019
Hi
Does anyone have a soul I can shake hands with?
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