Sometimes...
I talk to the moon
And tell it all the things that I can't say to her...

Sometimes I wish memories were water soluble
That these tears might wash them away
But try as I might
This clouded mind
Is where these memories choose to stay

The lights around me aren't as bright
As the light that I have inside
Yet I feel blind...
maybe it's myself I cant find.
Because everything around me is perfect in its flaws
Worn adhesive, I try to stick to life but I fall.
I wish could just disintigerate into ash and be everywhere
With everyone
Whilst simultaneously being nothing at all

I've yet to forget the words to this song, and it echoes in the now empty spaces of my mind. Yeah you ****** me up, and I haven't been sober nearly long enough to find the time. I would relapse and forget the man I was if I could be the guy who knew how to make everything fine. But instead I'll find a different drug...and forget what was surely never mine.

In a club full of diamonds, the queen sets herself apart
Wary of the way these kings take spades to hearts

When I'm with you, the dissonance in my heart turns to harmony. Yet, when we're apart, its quite the contrary.

I relate, Rover.

My battery too, is low.

And it is getting dark

But it will be

Okay

...soon

I can’t shake this feeling

That everything is fleeting

Like sand through my lips

And I’m just a glass

With no chance to flip

You'll do anything for my love

Except love me...

You're akin to the way smoke settles in still air
It lingers for a bit and then you'd never know it was there

I come here to become undone
My words like fingers pulling at loose threads
Until its all out there, in ribbons and shambles
A relatably undiscernible mess.

Hemorrhaging life
This heartbeat of mine dims with each passing night
I'm broken and I need mending
But I feel like the last one alive
And if I can't escape the confines of my mind
I'll be dead by daylight.

“It was supposed to be a rebirth, then why do I feel this way?
Perhaps I’m dead to even the stars, and there’s nothing left to say”

Your breathlessness was the wind beneath my sails that helped me coast these waters

But the tide is high

You've caught your breath

And it threatens to take me under

"My thoughts are like paper
Most days, I slide them through the shredder so no one can see. Maybe its just me, but I can't always speak what I think. I mean, I doubt anyone is even listening. Maybe I just need brighter ink."

If I let you hold me close

You might feel where I've fallen apart

Those seams that seem invisible

The weakest of my spots

I call her "Shiver" for the way she makes me feel
Cold but exhilarating like the harshest winter
And it creeps beneath my skin when I draw her in
Her merest touch cold make my skin splinter

I've tried all kinds of ****
Lord knows I'm an addict
But nothing quite hits
Like you

You invade my mental with an army of my thoughts
The sharpest memories forged with you in mind
I gave them to you to fight your old demons
Who would have guessed you'd turn into mine

Depression is the gateway drug

Because I'll try anything
Absolutely anything
To make this feeling stop

They tell us to be brighter than the darkness that surrounds us
But what of the ever encroaching darkness that lies just within?

You cannot acknowledge the constellations without tracing through the darkness between the stars.
My kind is celestial, interstellar, cosmic,
but my kind is also in perpetual darkness, trying desperately to shine bright enough to make a difference
It's hard when you aren't able to see your own light
Sometimes we just have to look at each other
A distant reminder that we are still alive
That we are parts of a whole
And bright enough to be seen

Our hearts fall apart
And we fumble with our lives
But fret not weary soldier
It be like that sometimes

Lost in my thoughts but my mind is too slow
In these quicksand memories, my hearts the first to go

and the rest of me follows

Now carry your heart
For its apart of our time
A mosaic of parts
Made from peices of mine

The weight of my love
Is not your burden to carry
Just as you are not obligated
To be burned by my eternal passions flame

I miss her

But I miss the her that used to look at me, and saw nothing less than her galaxy.

And if you just hurt me this could be easy
But you've been nothing but true
Your truth is just that you don't love me
Nearly as much as I've loved you

And so I have to go.

Maybe they were right, maybe I am crazy
And what else could possibly be done
When so many of my friends fought the oceans depths
And the oceans have always won

Now its my turn to slay the beast
Beneath the endless blue
Maybe I'll emerge victorious
Maybe I'll get to see you...


-For Etika and Javier