I want to write about what hurts because I think it will
Stop me from hurting. If I put these words on
A page then they will be easier to digest.
Poetry isn't curative by creation, it is
Just confession. Still, these remedial
Lines are what I turn to when I am holding
Too much in my hands. Right now, I feel
Like I am overflowing onto the ground below me.
For the first time,
I don't want to write about what hurts. I want
To keep it inside of me and let it burn me. I want
To carry it in my palms for as long as I can.
I should write
About how we've said goodbye so
Many times that it turned into a threat, a weapon
We made with our tongues.
I should write
About how I lied and got away with it,
How you got caught with
Your hands tied and no one to blame.
I should write
About how it was over before we waved the white
Flag, and I know what it means now
To hold onto a sinking ship.
I've never had anything to die for.
I should write about how I've never wanted
Something so much that I devastated it completely.
We loved in harsh conditions, under sun and darkness and
I don't know how to write about how
The love didn't save us.
I don't write about letting go as much as I write about
Holding on, and I want
That to change.
I don't want to write hurt just to feel it.
The next poem I write about you will be
About me. About how I held on and how I let go.
It won't be about your love, it will be about
Mine. It won't stop me from hurting, but
It is how I make it out
Of my love alive.

what is the meaning of life
if my heart wants the knife

What is the point of love
if theres nothing to dream of

How am I supposed to live,
feeling this way
If I want to **** myself,
Every **** day

I keep searching for reasons
Theres only a steady hum
stuck with closed minded relations
hearing nothing but a drum

stuck in this war
I am cold and sore

I am doing the time
but what is my crime

I can see blood
It looks like mud
Theres nothing left in me
so why dont you flee

I am undefined
and not so kind

you need to see
that theres nothing left for me
I dont want to breathe
So say I wont leave

If I Could Press A Magic Button
And end all your woe and fears
Make every day of your life happy
And end any of your sad tears
I'd press that button in a second
I'd do everything that I could
To make your life wonderful
I promise you, I really would!
I want to protect you from sorrow
Making you happy is my quest
Love, laughter, health and joy
You're worthy of the very best!
But I know there's no magic button...
But at least you know I'm here.
I'm sure you knew this already...
But now I know I've made it clear!

And in the early mornings
that I kept all for myself,
jealously holding them hidden
in the back of my mind,
I found myself,
the woman in me.
The serenity of the village
that's just started to wake up,
still sleepy.
And nobody saw me
dancing naked and barefoot
without any music,
nobody saw me smiling
or writing a new poem,
it was all my little secret,
the little life i lived
when I needed to find my strength again.
Nobody saw the moments
I felt the most alive,
nobody saw my soul rising above
the whole world,
singing to itself,
being free.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.