You'd melt me to a puddle,
And stomp through me in boots,
Then politely clean me up,
No wonder I was confused.

A small collection of water,
Weak and backless with no voice,
Stomped through, walked on,
I forgot I had a choice.

Once a passive puddle,
But now I am the rain,
Do you know what rain erases?
The flame.

No more power over me,
I'll choose when I fall,
And by fall I mean pour,
And by pour I mean stand tall.

Some like to live by following lists
To decide what's good enough,
Trusting the rules, the "shoulds" and ideals,
Not heart, intuition or gut.

Rulebooks and list have a time and place,
A purpose, a reason, a use,
But if unhappy we aren't let down
We just list another excuse.

"He's so nice, I must be wrong,
This job should be my dream."
Following lists can lead to smiles  
But they won't make you beam.

To find your own fulfillment,
Don't follow a recipe,
Or assume it is one size fits all,
Don't take your happiness lightly.

So yes, you can follow a guide
Of where you think you should go,
You can settle for things that make you content
Or wait for what makes you glow.

Don't chase, value, love or need
Mass produced replacable things
We seek with hopes they'll make us whole
They'll fill your house but not your soul

Don't skip the ocean to buy souvenirs
Or that's all you'll have in 20 years
Memories, people, experiences, time
You can buy more decor but clocks can't rewind

Maybe the one talked over and hushed
Grew up to be quiet, reserved
Trying to develop a voice of their own
But it was never heard

Maybe the one seeking attention
Spent their life being ignored
Experiences shape perceptions
And perceptions shape our world

But this is where we start, not end
After all, we're not cement
We change and bend and learn and grow
We can end above and start below
Beliefs can change and so can we
What we were, we don't have to be

Captured and shackled
to a wick of flesh and bone.

Thoughts as kindle,
takes spark -
setting alight what fuel
that runs within.

Anticipated blaze -
you know but never
acknowledge.

Time is here and now...

So pardon me
while I burst
into flames...

.

In an unguarded moment

I saw what it is, to not see myself.

The fogged up mirror

didn’t let my reflection reach me.

And what reached me was

just a picture colored out of lines.

The more I looked at my obscured face,

the more I was convinced

that the faces was not mine.

The more I was convinced of the face being a stranger’s,

more easier it was for me to love and accept it.

If I could see myself as someone else

how easier it would be to live my life.

Not knowing what I know about myself,

not knowing what I think.

To  be what I am and what I am not at the same time.

How easier it would be , if this is

what I saw in mirror everyday.

How beautiful can be not knowing, not seeing.

Only smudged shades of colors.

A face not mine.

I take each step forward

thinking about the steps you took without me.

My heart has faith

in the love that it felt

and it knows not how to give up.

But the pain of your indifference and neglect

hits the shore made of pebbles and shells

we collected all our life,

for the one we shall love.

But tonight, I am leaving this shore,

venturing into waters that I do not know of,

to feel what you feel.

So we may be united in hatred,

if not in love.