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Brother Jimmy Jun 2022
Got to pick it up again
What I’m feelin just ain’t right
No, what I feel isn’t right
Why ‘you make me so uptight?
Won’t you just turn on a light 💡

Saw you floating up the stairs…
At the edges of my sight…
And, the bristling of my hairs…
Think I’ll just turn on the light 💡

Heard you whispering my name
Your secrets stretch these sinews tight
My muscles taught, my racing brain
Can’t keep quiet overnight ✨

Saw you run across the floor
Sad eyes awfully full of fright
Before you close the closet door
Won’t you just let in some light

Jun 2022 · 125
Brother Jimmy Jun 2022
She squints, her eyes open
She musters the strength
She crawls to the kitchen
But not the full length
In minutes she’s dancing
So fluid, so free
And she’s such a comfort
And so dear to me

She’s the life of the party
Ask anyone here.
They’ve lined up tequila
And whiskey and beer.
Thankful but unfazed
By what they’ve been pourin’ her
As she’s warmly approaching
The chick in the corner

And she saves souls for real
Not like those ****** preachers
And she’s one who can teach
All the doctors and teachers
They hang on her words
And are better for knowing
This spark of existence
This cup overflowing

And I stand in wonder
At all she has touched
All she has given
She’ll say it’s not much
But waves propagate
With her as their source
She speaks, and the cosmos
Is changing its course

Some days she’s saddened
By her empathic knowing
Some days are like years;
Some fly and need slowing.
This past year’s been cutting
The claws of it rip
But she opens her eyes wide
Embracing the trip

And she senses things easily
Intuition - hot
She knows who she is
And she knows who she’s not
And her honor is worthy
Of Arthurian Lore
Her oaths aren’t made lightly
She’s is steadfast and sure

She’s seared into his folds
As his synapses tire
And he needs to subdue
And he’s dousing that fire
But she’s stuck in his head
Like a hook in a fish
And affecting his thoughts
And becoming his wish

He wouldn’t dare dream
Of breaking connection
With someone so dear;
So with each correction,
He’s learning to dance
The dance she intends
To never destroy
This deep bond as friends
Brother Jimmy Sep 2021
Oh what’s it like
To have your heart?
(I guess, my dear, I’ll really never know)
Diane for years
You “played the part”
Until you walked right out that door
Cannot quite convince myself
To talk to you just yet,
My wounded heart can’t take another blow

You were so cruel
Cut me right in half
And you had not a thing to say
You and your tool
Can have a little laugh
The way you laughed at me that day
Far too trusting
I will never trust someone again
You made sure I cannot know the way

You’re still in my heart
You tore it apart

Time to engage
The turn’s compete
Let’s separate this flesh we have sewn
All of my rage
Will dissipate
And the tears will dry up on their own
I can wish
You had not ever married me at all
won’t prevent this fall

I fell in love
With someone once
Don’t think I can recall her name
Which only proves
That I’m the dunce
And I know that you feel the same
See the way
Your mind will keep you thinking you’ll smell sweet
You’re not to blame,
…we all fall at your feet

All hail to the queen
(So very obscene)
All hail to the queen
All hail to the queen
This is a song for my ex. Title became “All Hail To The Queen”… you can hear a rough version here:
Sep 2021 · 532
Twenty-two years
Brother Jimmy Sep 2021
Happy Anniversary
My sorrow cannot bear
Your new adopted tone
Your hollow smiling stare

I cringe at the thought
The thought that kills my sleep
This thing that you have wrought
How he goes in so deep

His character exalt!
His back muscles so rare
It never was your fault
How could you help but stare?

Poseidon in his glory
A tool for you to use
I hope you get your thrills
Not more damage and abuse

You can drive him toward your will
Not like your former “love”
Whose callousness you loathed
Like the late “God above”

So congrats for eluding
The trap you’d been in
Twenty two years is a long time
To keep this crazy spin

Away you go; you win.
Happy 22nd (and final) anniversary to Diane Jean
I am grieving for the death of who you were.
My mourning comes in waves


The woman I knew wouldn’t have said something so belittling of my feelings, so casually cruel. That woman has died.  That facade that you presented for years and years and years… has evaporated.   The thing that is left in her place is cold, unrecognizable, off-putting, sick.  I am glad truth is coming to light even if it upsets my stomach… I am glad for myself - that it makes it easier to walk away.    But there’s a part that still grieves.   A part that imagines the old you is still underneath this gross monstrous skin… and a part that fears that you’ll awake from this haze… the dark magic will be lifted… and you’ll fall apart.   And it will be too late.  It already is too late.  I can do nothing to soothe or comfort… I can only move on, putting your memory to rest.  

We had good times that I will never forget.  

Au revoir
Sep 2021 · 95
Not sure why I love you
Brother Jimmy Sep 2021
You come back today
I’m afraid to see your face
Since you’ve gone away
An image in your place

Has occupied my mind
An image of you, lost
In darkness, and I find
I didn’t count the cost

Of filing (was it blunder?)
The documents that rip
Our strong union asunder
Was it wrong, I wonder?

Will you come to your senses?
Will the spell be lifted?
Will you then break my defenses;
And have reparations gifted?

But then I picture you
In HIS arms, on repeat…
And once again I stew;
Can’t sleep, and I can’t eat

But wounds that I now nurse
Will one day make me strong
It cannot get much worse
So add verses to our song

The song of you and me
Afloat but sinking fast
Adrift in these rough seas
Without an anchor cast

The only way we’ll save
The friendship underneath
Is taking what you gave
And sinking-in my teeth

Because there was some good
I took from our meandering
But I’ll not hold my breath
That you have stopped your wandering

So, civil I will be
I promise to be kind
Your infidelity
Will slowly leave my mind

And one day we will laugh,
About our childish ways;
About this current gaff,
Or at our chosen phrase

Describing these hard times
As we visit our brood
And laughing at your crimes
Love’ll be understood
Sep 2021 · 128
The First Of September
Brother Jimmy Sep 2021
The first of September, first chill in the air
Sorrow hangs heavy, but do not despair

All will work out as it’s meant to
There’ll be a place we will get to
Best friend don’t you forget to
Come and lean on me


Remember sunflowers and islands and moons
Remember the way that you made this boy swoon

We can still get past the rough parts
You’re gone, but we still have two connected hearts
You’re one of infinity’s great works of art
We’ll soon learn just how to be


I hope we will get to a place where we can
Laugh about love while I’m holding your hand

‘Cause dear, when you hold me, I feel love
It’s not even something I’m proud of
But no, that’s not something… I’m rid of
Diane please kiss me goodbye


It can mean nothing to you, dear,
But please let me shed some small quiet tears

A little weep on your shoulder, Di
You can just give me the stink eye
I don’t even care if you don’t cry
But hold me close one more time


You were my best friend for twenty six years
We’ve had adventures and our share of tears

But also such laughter, it felt swell
Bubbling up from the deep well
When it subsided, I can’t tell
But I hope it’s not gone for good


One of these days in this nightmare of mine
I’ll wake with a start and see everything’s fine

Oh, everything’s just as it should be
My love for you, and your love for me
And this never happened, oh wouldn’t it be
Sweet, if that’s just how it went?


But love off-you-go now, you’ve been set free
And you won’t hear no more “pathetics” from me

Take your leave now from me, lady fair
I’ll picture you with your crazy hair
Flying like sparks through the chilly night air
I still care for you, like I say


I pray that whoever you’re meant for Diane
Will be everything you’d ever want in a man

Hope he fulfills you like you need
Hope he is gentle…and charming indeed
Be happy you have finally been freed!
And you can do just what you want


       I’ll always love you …a little bit
       Because friend I cannot get rid of it
       We’re intertwined and it’s hard to break free
       Even now that you’re all done with me
Goodbye love
Aug 2021 · 103
Farewell love
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
It hurts worse every day
I hope this will subside
The lover that you threw away
Has a hollow ache inside

The love to which I was clinging
Was only a pantomime
Your cruel indifference is still stinging
But I’ll be stronger, in good time

This loneliness is like suffocating
And my eyes can’t adjust to the light
Here in the darkness I’m navigating
Depths of despair o’er your flight

And now you’re out and I, soon,
Will have to see your pretty face
But there will be no need for swoon
And there will be no chase

I know you’re gone so go…
I guess this is where we part…
But darling dear, I hope you know
I loved you with all of my heart
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
Staring at the campfire, tryin’ to think of reasons
Why you were so savage that you went on ahead
Cruelly pantomiming role of “loving wife” for seasons
Messing with my heart and torturing my head

The undetected longings your anxious heart must’ve had
Were hidden so well …even when we did embrace
And there might have been a tiny tell - a sign that things were going bad
But I am blind like justice; and you were gone without a trace

The signs were there in retrospect, many signs that I had missed
I should’ve felt it when we argued, when you tried to make me leave
I should’ve sensed the wandering, detected in each kiss
That you were chained and looking for reprieve

But hindsight gives illumination, and highlights all your lies
Your personality is mimic, assimilate each one
Knowing just the thing to do or say to win your prize
And you’re not satisfied…not ever… ‘til you’ve won
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
When you look
Back for clues
They’re all there

Like the smell
Of ozone
In the air

Sounded lame
Did you know?

But I saved
All those ones
Where you show

Me some skin
Close ups of
Sweet jade gate

Shall I send
Them to him?
He’s up late…

With your shirt
Lifted up
Showing skin

Teasing shots
Just to draw
Me on in

But each one
Silly face
Open mouth

Stupid look
(I see you’re
From the South)

Two where you
Call me up
From downstairs

I still recall
Such nice shots
Such blank stares

‘Cause you’d only
Want me when
You were gone

Drunk or high
On the pills
It felt wrong

To make love
With a girl, with
Special needs

Made me shrink
Made me turn
From the deeds

But next morning
You’d be cold

Like that fake
Bill of goods
I was sold

Lies stretch back
Through the years
Now I see

There’s no love
From you dear
Only me

You’ve got the goods
The stuff I want
(Your *** was boss)

And the nicest
Set of teeth
I’ve *** across
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
Another sunrise, another day
And still, she has very little to say
She calls up from rehab, to talk sick'ning-sweet
About all the folks she now has at her feet

“People from all-walks, who’ve played my same card!
We do meetings, and yoga, and walks in the yard!
And the food is so filling, and tastes pretty great
No wonder inpatients here always gain weight!”

“I’ve met Sally, and Kate, and Pauline, (who loves Pink)
And we’re all the same! We cheat and we drink!
Then there’s Betty, and Paula, and Beth, and Marie
All of these people exactly like me!”

And the thing she repeats in the children’s ears:
“Mommy’s working real ******* herself, my dears!”
As if NOTHING had HAPPENED, talking softly and sweet
But even in rehab, continues to cheat

Not that “WE” could be mended, it’s far past that point
But it ****** me off that while she’s in that joint
Spending our money to get pampered, and “well”…
She’s still chatting on phone calls with HIM.  Go to hell!

She’s been nigh three-weeks-sober for the first time in years
When she calls me to talk, it is not to shed tears,
Nor beg for forgiveness for adulterous ways
And say that she’s sorry she’s wasted my days

But to ask why the children won’t pick up their phones
As she’s still talking daily to the geezer she bones
I ask, “…you really love him?”, she confirms that it’s true,
With a casual cruelty, as I’m cut right in two.
Aug 2021 · 75
Princess Bitch
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
Did I make you feel too special?
Was it too much; too hard to accept?
The adoration that I gave you,
Did it only make you feel inept?

Did I overly pamper you, princess?
Giving in every time we’re opposed?
Did you really think, “Why am I in this,
With this pushover? I think I got hosed.”

How many years did you just make believe?
How long has it been a charade?
As I cut myself open and give you my heart
All the while you were sharpening your blade

Now run along home to your sister’s,
Guts, blood, and gore in your wake
Saying, “I’m too delicate at this stage,
So don’t throw me things I can’t take…

Else you might ruin my recovery
So, …no surprises, please.”
…WELL, what about MY recovery,  *****?

You know what?

Go grind on his filthy fish tail
Go straddle his handlebars
Go send him words that you’ve stolen from me
Give to him all that was ours

Your beauty will fade from you someday
And you’ll no longer get to make jumps
Leaving lovers in puddles of gore as you go
Having lined-up your next ***** for humps

Take a hike for a while now, my strumpet,
Ride his handlebars into the night
I was waiting for you to be sorry
But it’s not worth fighting that fight

And some day in the future when you’re finally content
And you’ve ended your wand’rings and wild rides
Have us over and show us your enormous gape!
And we’ll drive our “Big Rigs” right on inside!
…now that I’ve been digging, the things I’m finding out about you are astonishing.  

…the times you’ve hit-on others right under my nose!
I am blind.
It’s amazing what you don’t see, when you’re trusting.

Who are you, Diane??

I miss you, but I haven’t met You.  

Whoever you are, you’ve torn me in two
Aug 2021 · 130
As You Walk Away
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
As you walk away, please remember how much I loved you
And that so many days I tried to make things right
No, I wasn’t perfect, I know, that’s not what I’m saying
But I did the best I could do, before you took flight

Seems the spell you were under just never dissipated
I never snapped you out of it like I thought I might…
You grabbed the yoke, bent on crashing and burning, but I held on
Thinking after this valley of darkness, we’d reach some light

As you walk away
Out into the night
Oh darling, I’m aghast
Oh dear, it’s not right

And as you round the bend
I hope you get it right
I hope you can unwind yourself
Your knots are awful tight

Now every day’s been spent just raging and weeping
At the thought of what perhaps could have been…
And the images my mind creates of the acts are just teeming
I feel stupid and blind for the things that I should have seen

On my knees in the darkness, I pray to the sky for renewal
Looking hard for what the hell it was that I lacked
Running over scenarios of a repair to this wreckage
Hazy future images where we’ve made it back

But I now realize that this fantasy is just illusion
And I know your current strategy lies with him
But when this honeymoon period that you’re now into has ended
And he’s pulls you down to the deep I just hope you swim

I’d rather you get well and get happy, dear, believe it…
Than stayin’ tied in knots from which you can’t get free
Whatever was lacking …I hope that your new love fulfills it
Dearest friend, you’ll always have a part of me

As you walk away
Out into the sunset
Oh dear, I am speechless
Oh darling, it’s not right

And as you round the bend
I hope you got it right
I hope you can unwind some day
Those knots are awful tight
Aug 2021 · 526
Darling, Can You Blame Me?
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
I don’t tell you oft’ enough
You’re heroic! It must be tough,
Cause each night you are tryin’ to tame me

To get me to turn an eye that’s blind
To not mention the tumbler of wine
Or the whiskey, which is near enough to slay me

Oh you tell me I am being lame
And why it’s me that is to blame
And when asked whose fault this is, you’ll say me

And while you’re spewing words of hate
You tell me I don’t appreciate
All that you do, oh darling ...can you blame me?
Aug 2021 · 90
A song for Diane
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
Lovely Lady Dee
She soon will be free of me
She’ll be dancing on the corner
of the dance floor

She’s a hurricane
Leaving splinters in her wake
And it got too hard to take
Now we’re done for

She pulled my heart out bleeding
And commenced to eating
It up raw

Her words are ornamental
But her tenderness is gentle
As I saw

What I saw

Lovely Lady Dee
Soon you’ll be free of me
You’ll be dancing on the sidelines
At the boat house

The papers have been filed
And I hope that makes you smile
You’ll be happy …for a while
My funny free spouse

You’ll get your strapping lover
& you’ll do your best to cover up your scheme
You’ll live the dream

You’ll no longer be beholden
To this funky freaky fuzzy golden boy
Oh rapturous joy

Go get your toy

Darling dear Diane
You have fowled up all my plans
You’ve smeared mud upon my face
And stuck the knife in

If they could know the pain
You inflicted on my brain
They would strip you of your badge
And take your license

They’d see through all your lying
And the elders would start crying
Vicious girl

And those that have your bent
Would that your stockinged legs be wrent
And give them a whirl

My little pearl

You were my world
Aug 2021 · 44
Rage And Grieving
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
He’s pulling up
She’s stepping out
The way she got me feeling
Makes me want to scream and shout

She’s on her knees
He’s standing tall
Don’t even want to think about
The covenant at all

She’s on the floor
He’s pulling out
They wouldn’t want to make another
God-forsaken mouth

He lets it fly
Stinging her eyes
She got the only thing he wants
In between her thighs

Whoa Nellie!
Whoa girl!
Don’t you think you’re good?
Especially when gagging down
Your lover’s pink hood

Whoa now
Stop it now
What about them kids?
But how can you fold when
You’ve gotten better bids?

He’s become so sad
She’s not really so bad
The way she nursed his wounds,
She was the best he ever had

They write each other poems
In between the moans
Send each other songs
In mellifluous tones

Baby, there she goes
From underneath my nose
It’s easy to be blind
When you’ve lenses, colored rose

Kicked me in the gut
Mother, …*******, …****…
It took me but a week
To squeeze my tear ducts shut

Oh Baby,
Oh princess,
Thanks for the heads-up!
I hope you feel the poison
Bitter tears that fill your cup

Hey Momma
Hey girl
You go on your way
I hope we both can find a way to be old friends some day…

For now though, go away.

I have just lost my best friend of 27 years
Mother to my kids
This isn’t how it was supposed to end
My hearts been torn to shreds
Aug 2021 · 143
Pirate Captain’s Daughter
Brother Jimmy Aug 2021
Oh, a scoundrel met a pretty maid
And he fell so hard it hurt
And he set about to being near
Her countenance...and skirt...(wink!)

Well, it turned out that this pretty maid
Was betrothed a while back
And so the scoundrel tarried there
And made to plan-out his attack

The scoundrel was overjoyed to find
The rascal was gone at sea
And the lovely maid he so desired
Was a tad inclined to flee

And one happy day he kissed her
And the world melted away
On an island not far south of here
And they both knew from that day

For a while they loved in secret
‘Till she shirked her foul plan
Of playing the role of officer’s wife
To (let’s face it) the wrong man

And the scoundrel tried to straighten up
And he set himself to workin hard
He’d ask the maid to marry him
‘Fore the sun was over yardarm

The maid was a pirate captain’s daughter
So one sunny day, with trembling heart
He walked along beside the Pirate
Attempting to sound smart

And he told the Pirate his intentions
Conveyed politely what he had planned
And with carefully chosen respectful words
Asked for his daughter’s hand

And the Captain said it was fine with him
If his daughter would consent as well
And if the scoundrel would treat her right
Remaining atop the swell

Well, the Pirate was a handy man
With blunderbuss and musketoon
And jabbing with his cutlass
By the light of the silver moon

He captained well his ship
Through breakers plenty tall
And not till he was seventy two
Did our dear pirate captain fall

On that day the ocean rumbled
And a gale was on the water
And the ship on which we sailed
Tossed and tore the pirate’s daughter

We trembled there in silence
For each crew mate held their breath
While the hungry sea kept roaring
And the breakers talked with death

And monstrous creatures from depths below
Around our ship did gather
Knocking hard at the timbers
Working the sea into a lather

The Kraken on the starboard side
Leviathan to port
And the sails were torn and tattered
And the yardarm was cut short

The main mast it had splintered off
And the ship was tipped and tossed
Disastrous destruction from the deep
Meant the ship was nearly lost

And again and again the waves they crashed
O’er the scoundrel and his wife
And he and the Pirate’s daughter
They held on for dear life

And amidst the many perils
And the never ending storms
The scoundrel and the pirates daughter
Learned to raise their arms

The held their arms high in the air
As down each swell they raced
As each fresh peril they endured
And each disaster, bravely faced

Praying they’d have it figured out
How to navigate these icy squalls
Without the pain and angst
Pinning them against the walls

They’ll say, “Here comes another”
But smile with strength and cheer
And though the night will rattle them
The morn’ll be smooth and clear

And when they cling to each other
And to God who sees it all
They’ll be anchored safe in harbor
Protected from the squall

Though the tempests are never-ending
And they can’t quite see the way
When they cling on tight throughout the night
And hold each other through the fright
And pray to emerge into the light
They’ll embrace the bright warm day
This poem was something I wrote for my wife recently.
When I met her she was engaged to a guy in the Navy who’d been out to sea for 6 months. She was 19, I was 21, (her fiancé was in his late 20s) …we worked at Chi-Chi’s waiting tables together.  
We hung out with a whole group of friends after work and became very close.  She asked me to play guitar at her wedding. I declined.  And at some point professed my love for her.  And she professed hers for me. It was terribly romantic.
We ve been together now for 28 years (23 married)


Found out on 8/2 at 3:30 AM that after nearly 22 years of marriage and 3 kids, that she’s been ******* a guy named Enrique… and they’re in-love.

I thought I’d post this anyway.
For ***** and giggles.

(Filed for divorce this morning.)   ******* yay
May 2021 · 81
Ready to Face it
Brother Jimmy May 2021
Ok, I’m ready
Tell me how to start
Show me what the next step is
To heal my weary heart

I want happiness
Like anybody would
I’m ready now to do the work
I hope that’s understood

If I’m going to fail
At least I’ll know I tried
Let’s smooth it over and move on
My defenses have all died

I’m past the foolish pride
Apr 2021 · 116
Human logic
Brother Jimmy Apr 2021
It’s all a bit of *******
It’s wordplay and it’s noise
These tortured, bent, crafty minds
Have dark, insidious toys
Apr 2021 · 102
Brother Jimmy Apr 2021
What have I become?
Do you turn away?
Supposing it is I
Who has gone astray?

I’ve grown these horns and fangs
My claws grasp at each straw
There’s rumbling hunger pangs
Take note my gaping maw

You put me in my cage
Toss me crumbs and scraps
My hunger to assuage
More than my fill, perhaps

Now my eyes have blackened
The id wrests all control
And these constraints have slackened
Please, petition for my soul
The beast inside this hole
Apr 2021 · 66
Holding on
Brother Jimmy Apr 2021
Love feels like being strangled
Like a churning in your stomach
Like an unquenchable longing

Love is helplessness
Love can be almost unbearable

There was a time I thought
Love was sunshine and breezes

Oh but it isn’t always lovely feelings
It isn’t always fun

It is holding on for dear life
Apr 2021 · 49
Brother Jimmy Apr 2021
Driving on
Where'd I go wrong
In the creases

When did I
Decide to die
In pieces

Self sacrifice
To pay a price is ******
And zephyr blows but I have never heard her

...Too ...far
Down a road I shouldn't have taken
I live for vacation
I take one everyday

Driving on
Where'd I go wrong
In the creases

When did I
Decide to die
In pieces

can take you crazy places
When you don't know
the folks behind your faces...
Can help you force
yourself into tight places

Watch your pace, yes,
It can ***** you too
So sad so blue
Oh what to do
Oh what to do

Come alive
Come alive
And drive
Brother Jimmy Apr 2021
She has chains
Around her chest
Slowly tightening
Give her rest

She’s in danger
Every day
She can’t continue to
Work this way

She’s saving lives
And skirting death
Ushers joy
Or one’s last breath

This blight has taken
A toll on her
On ALL of us
It has, for sure

But on the caregivers
So much worse
On every doctor
Every nurse
Mar 2021 · 87
Reminiscence Trap
Brother Jimmy Mar 2021
You are living
In the past
Thinking you could
Still outlast
Some vague timeline
In you head
Some fake past
You think you read

You project
Your memories
And imagine
They’re the keys
To good feelings
But alas
All good moments
Seem to pass

Far too quickly
And you find
That nostalgia
In your mind
Is a poison,
Keeping you
From the things
You ought to do

Like moving forward
With your quest:
To bleed-out love
From your chest!
And make a difference
Here somehow.
Loving living
In the now
Dec 2020 · 110
Your Vitriol
Brother Jimmy Dec 2020
Hate has no place here
So put your tongue to rest
There’s nothing you need fear
No imp upon your chest

Stop grouping them as “they“
Be true to your best creeds
Try seeing things their way
And if the Spirit leads

Try looking past their skew
Into their very souls
Into their motives true
Despite their fool-cajoles
Sep 2020 · 72
Brother Jimmy Sep 2020
As the plaster
Cast around me
Starts to crumble
When I shake
Convulsing waves
Of body shivers
Undulate and
******* break
Pulsing body
Popping, pushing
Pupil of my
Nature’s plight
Pleading with my
****** and power
Body burning
Still I fight
Just to emerge
Into the light
Sep 2020 · 73
A new day
Brother Jimmy Sep 2020
A new day
Rife with possibility
Insert some new tranquility
Into your mind

A new way:
Looking at the positive
Believing life is causative
A new lens we must find

Truth is
Difficult now to discern
But even so down deep I yearn
Now to make headway

Love is.
So don this mask for now, shall I
And in the face of fear I’ll fly
For today's a new day
Aug 2020 · 79
Consciousness and Worry
Brother Jimmy Aug 2020
My thoughts race~
In my inner monologue I hear:
     (I mean in my head, ...not actually in my ear)

“I hope we can make it through all of this”


How did I “hear” that?   And who spoke those words?

...’cause, if that’s a thought that came from in me...

           Then who is the “I”?     ...Who is the “we”?

And how is it that I can take note
           Observing these thoughts that ring

Who is thinking and who’s observing...
           The conscious mind is an amazing thing
Aug 2020 · 54
I’ve been away
Brother Jimmy Aug 2020
I journeyed out to find
...And here along the way

Having glimpsed my mind
And holding little sway

What fascinated first
Had become cliche

For what was blessed was cursed
And God feels far away

A blessing once upon a time
Was treated as a high

By my own hand and tongue, and I’m
A shriveled ghost, a sigh

Persuade me to embolden now
Regain the mystic eye

To see the golden glow somehow
Without the paper tie

The crispness of this air
Feels like a fetter, oh

I long for sweet despair
I’m getting better though

One day I will be healed
Or ...I like to think so

Toward the great reveal
The conclusion of this show

Inexorably, I go
Aug 2020 · 46
Within this dream
Brother Jimmy Aug 2020
I went out
To discover,
And along the way

In their farce
Oh so often
I heard people say

Do it right
Get your bearings
Don’t just drift on through

Though I kept
Trying harder
Naught else could I do

All of life
Leads to this spot
Here where we now stand

No advice
Nor willpower
Shifts what has been planned

So give in
And surrender
Learn to love despite

Being locked
In this chamber
Through this cold cold night

How does one
Truly capture
Glimpses of the real

Is it by
Tacking windward
Learning love and zeal?

Or are we
Better suited
To flow with the stream

That we find
Circumstance has
Placed within this dream?
Apr 2020 · 62
Brother Jimmy Apr 2020
This sword has slashed and slain good folk
And hot coals have caressed
And with this instrument, have I lain
My soul to bear; my core to rest...

It’s sure to harm and falter
With fricative formations always ready
Even near the altar
My muscles tensed, my thoughts unsteady

But this sword can also heal
Can soothe like salve a haggard heart
So I will climb and I will kneel
And try once more to hone my art
Apr 2020 · 57
This whine
Brother Jimmy Apr 2020
Why are you not here,
And I am left here holding on,
Didn't you know the way we were was fine?!
And do you know your baby's cryin'?

Seems all of my fear flew too far,
Look where we are.
What a year...and I wasn't tryin'
Do you hear this baby-whine?

      Can't you come back and hold me again?
I am in that fear
      Can't you come back and hold me again?
Promise I won’t shed a tear

Why are you not here,
And we are left here holding on,
Didn't you know the way we were was fine?
And do you hear your babies cryin?

     Fine. Fine! You’ll never come back.
     You're gone, but ...would you try?
             If you discover there's a way
             To let us know it's all ok?

Give my kind regards
To the King and the throng
Shedding ranks and singing all day long
Oh tell me you enjoy the song
          I hope that you enjoy the song
Feb 2020 · 25
Brother Jimmy Feb 2020
Far from fiendish filth, I’ll faithfully find my feet
Oh, only using an ointment I’ll oil my oaken oar
Refusing rifling romance from rows of real rides
Even-so every endeavor entreating evermore

Vile the vine, vain the shine that vexes my veneer
Every edge entreated, engenders ease of ache
Remove my resignations; my ruddy itching fear
My matron out of maiden did my marriage make

You yearn yet you yell, as your fellow is yellow
Deserving his death, and dearth of the deed
Engaged in the ending, enter elbow and ear
An angst that achieves anger and all are agreed

Reserving real rage til receiving the results
Entertaining every edgy enervating end
Stultifying satiation staving-off with salts
Till the termination of this terror, true friend, ...toward the tryst you tend
Feb 2020 · 78
Trading Post and Moon
Brother Jimmy Feb 2020
Comes the fiddling fiend
Comes the lascivious lingerer
Steals away, the sneak, to the bend in the creek
And lies with a lovely light

From the beckoning field
Where the battles were waged, we trade
Furs and beads will fill their needs
And keep the moon up tonight

And illumine well the fight
Feb 2020 · 68
Perhaps a seed
Brother Jimmy Feb 2020
Perhaps we are

The seed of something;

My ghost, the orchid

I’ll become,

And every bloom

We see unfurling,

Shall beautify

Th’ eternal home!
Feb 2020 · 69
Brother Jimmy Feb 2020
While we are in
Conversation here
So many humans
Have perished, I fear
Each moment brings
New life and new death
Final words spoken
And baby’s first breath
Life’s currents unbearable
Meand’ring through confluence
The sublime and the terrible
Don’t know their own consequence
The rush and the curve
Create oxbow crescents
The vim and‪ the verve
Ensure each one’s presence
And all we can do
Is react and observe
(Our own bent deeds too)
And endeavor to serve
Either ...the self
That glutton of grease
Or somebody else;
And attain inner peace

Or at least a brief break
From worry and strife
Hold on to the harness, take
Joy in this life
Jan 2020 · 97
Dear Daddy
Brother Jimmy Jan 2020
Funny how the feelings come
At once like surges in a storm
And how the flowers droop and wilt
From blocked-out sunlight, dust, and worm

Your face comes to my mind sometimes
Your words will sometimes follow
You taught me well despite my hell
(The habits in which I wallow)

How I long for your embrace
To sit a while and laugh and chat
To once again behold your face
But I can’t reach you where you’re at

Oh if there is a real way
From there behind the veil
I wish that you would reassure
As I lie here and wail

I barely cried the day you died
And now some years have passed
And tears burst forth from burning eyes
And down my head is cast

...Say “Hi” to FIRST & LAST
Jan 2020 · 72
The peace of those taken
Brother Jimmy Jan 2020
Closeup of eye...
Its gaze toward the sky
The puddle that brims
And sloshes the rims

And as we zoom out
Beholding the lout
We see what he’s done
Lit up by the sun

Zoom further back still
We see the fresh ****
Which lays lifeless there
In crisp winter air

As blood starts to spread
The dark crimson red
A slow sticky flow
Which steams on the snow

And now looking down
From over the town
From view of a dove
Way up high above

A few tiny specs
These red and white flecks
The clouds now obscure
The dead and demure

The curve comes in view
The green and the blue
And the haze covers all
This humanity, small

Cries up from below
As further we go
The absence of sound
Absorbed by the ground

And still it moves round
Our star, without sound
And time will release
The deafening peace
Brother Jimmy Jan 2020
Most people don’t want to be converted at all
    They’ll pick their way along the winding trail
And, when owl in tree asks who, fear his call!
    Like squirrel giving two or three shakes of tail
They run from every breaking of twig
    Afraid the sly hunter’s claws will impale
And now, at nightfall, our Mister Big...

     Sharpened of claw, and focused of eye
With the cloven hooves and horns to boot
   Red predator tempts and tempts the prey
And skillfully tries to make-off with that loot
   But after temptations, th’accusations will fly
As, like the owl, he’ll preen and he’ll hoot
   And silently sit with a grin toward the sky...

So maybe call out to your old safety net
  Your regent who’s remedy always is ready
It might be an option your heart opts for yet
  It is easy & straightforward not vague or heady
You’ll escape from the raptor and won’t soon forget
  The moment you brought yourself focused and steady
To the great task of asking, there came comfort I bet
Jan 2020 · 93
Repairing what remains
Brother Jimmy Jan 2020
If you could stop this plight
Could plot a place for pep

Could turn the day to night
Transport me through a trip

Repairing ripped remains
Requiring rest and rains

Your vigor vim and zip
Voracious vrooming stains

Beholding what beheld
When it was still intact

The weight is with me still
The cloud and cataract

The vision that now dulls
And daily duty culls

New meaning from the old
Severe, the mercy sold
Jan 2020 · 60
What happened to him?
Brother Jimmy Jan 2020
That guy took a life
How could he have done?
How could he have killed
Such a beautiful one

I study his eyes
Just trying to see
What makes this man different
From you or from me

But the truth is too dark
For me to consider
So hard to swallow
So ugly, so bitter

The truth is that he
Is no different than any
The paths that we choose
Are varied...and many

We’ll try to observe
Some tell in his manner
Some sign that we missed
Some twitch or some stammer

So we can say “ah!
I now see it clear!
I should have know from
That voice I now hear”

“The one in my head
That triggers alarm
So I can know how
To steer clear of harm”

But there is no voice
No feeling, no bell
This son to a mother
Is not spawned from hell

And yet here we are
His knife found its mark
And what should be done
Down here in the dark

Take his life away?
Redemption through violence
Won’t bring back one day
Or mute the loud silence
Jan 2020 · 56
It approaches
Brother Jimmy Jan 2020
I feel death
In my chest, in my throat
I can easily take my pulse
Without touching neck or wrist
The frenzied gnawing takes a toll on me
And the only way to settle my mind is

Prolonged solitude
Found in forests
On trails
With my dog

Pushing these worries out of mind
And out of sight
I continue through days
Lacking the much needed space in my schedule
For solitude
And after a whole week off
I feel slightly better

It approaches

And it’s shadowy and fearful

And although, at times, I’ve wanted it here...

I’d rather it was delayed

Brother Jimmy Jan 2020
This movie was panned
The critics all spat
Each write-up was canned
(It shows where we’re at)

They trash all that’s good
To bolster their cred
They fancy their food
Which they have been fed

But here’s food for thought
Go ask a true fan
Did it skip as it ought
The heart of a man

For mine felt a thrill
As I took it in
Yet poured from their quill
The critics’ great sin
Aug 2019 · 110
Passing through
Brother Jimmy Aug 2019
Avoiding magic,
Elf, and bowl...
Nothing’s tragic
If made whole

Avoidance carries
Heavy loads
The miracle tarries,
Mind implodes

But winged creatures
Want dire things
Say earnest preachers
Who pull off wings

Perhaps the church
Should be avoided
And left in a lurch
As Christ destroyed it

When he read
From the scroll
Turns of head
All eyes did roll

The spirit is upon me
I’ve been anointed
To set captives free
I’ve been appointed

And as he put the scroll away
He uttered aloud, almost in song:
“These words are fulfilled in me today”,
Infuriating the offended throng

Leaving chins
Upon the floor
Churchy grins
Appear no more

They move as one
To chase him off;
To Him, what fun,
The shout and scoff

He looked not proud
On the brow of the hill
Passed through crowd
All felt a chill

For this, perhaps
Is how He loved
The cards collapsed
And all were moved

A repost of an earlier work
May 2019 · 156
To my muse in Springtime
Brother Jimmy May 2019
My sweet lady, I’m off kilter,
Wooed by all your lovely charms,
Here’s some maca for your philter,
Need to have you in my arms

Want your loving legs around me,
Want your loving arms as well,
Have to say your curves astound me,
Got to make your “sailor” swell,

Want to voyage through your straits,
Lovely portal made of jade,
Let my tongue throw wide the gates,
And let the choicest love be made

Let me sing you lovely music,
Let me try to make you swoon,
Here’s my flesh (O please abuse it!),
While my eyes reflect the moon

Lover laughing lovely there,
Behind your smiling eyes so deep,
In my mental pictures fair,
Close my eyes to try to keep,

Each new moment we’re entwined,
For each one seems to top the last,
Hold me close and expand my mind,
Draw me near, and hold me fast
May 2019 · 201
Springtime Slurry
Brother Jimmy May 2019
My bones are sore
At close of day
With pain in feet
And hair more grey

And now begins the
Springtime slurry
Winter's death,
The sprouting fury...

But it's the autumn
Of my days
And joints now throb
And mind's a haze

Yet Spring awakens
Yearnings which
Have long lain dormant
How the itch

Distracts a stiff
From daily dribblings
Daydreams, donned
With nubile nibblings

And out into
The wood I jaunt
Till pagan ponderings
Hellishly haunt

The corners of
My craggly crown
The parietal plunder
Pulling down

But satyr romps
Among tree bases
With myriad pictures
Of countless faces

Create a stiffness
'Mid sickened stones
Not of ***** but
Of the bones

At close of day
A man lay hoping
For another day's
Eyes to open

O new day come
It's not too late
Inner wellspring
A repost of one of my earlier pieces
Apr 2019 · 146
Brother Jimmy Apr 2019
I repeat the things that do me harm
Day in out
Even though they've lost their charm
Day out day in

I'm fearful how this thing will end
Day in out
So tell me pretty lies, my friend
Day out day in

Though my symptoms show it's true
Day in out
Gasping, coughing bits of spew
Day out day in

Repeated detrimental sin
Day in out
Like a rat to saccharine
Day out day in
I know that it’s sad...pathetic...dumb,
But I can’t stop until I’m numb
Apr 2019 · 227
The Void
Brother Jimmy Apr 2019
Atavistic gills have I
For breathing in the void
For swimming up through space & sky
My organs thus employed

For since, in this world's atmosphere,
I have never drowned
My dormant skill has reappeared
And up I soar, unbound
Apr 2019 · 207
Brother Jimmy Apr 2019
Upside down
Wrong way round
That’s the way the world is

Makes me wonder
If our God
Is sorry he unfurled this
Apr 2019 · 341
Brother Jimmy Apr 2019
As the plaster
Cast around me
Starts to crumble
When I shake
Convulsing waves
Of body shivers
Undulate and
******* break

Pulsing body
Popping, pushing
Pupil of my
Nature’s plight
Pleading with my
****** and power
Body burning
Still I fight

To just emerge
Into the light
Apr 2019 · 330
Another Snow
Brother Jimmy Apr 2019
The first flurries’ magic has dissolved
As flakes fly yet again
Filling the view through the back windows

We long for the final triumph of spring
When muds and buds have broken through
And have been warmed by the sun

The ice crystals mount their final assault
To see if they can defeat
The coming onslaught of green
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