At first,

It’s barely an itch.

Slowly it worsens.

You drown it in wine.

It learns to swim.

You *******.

It still smolders.

It burns.

And then,

You add gasoline

And rage along side of it

Inevitability.

You took a lover

But wanted a savior

To make you whole.

To complete you.

And when he was only a lover

You began to hate him

For not being what he never was

What you tried to make him

He couldn’t save you

Only you can.

And when you do,

you’ll be ready for a lover.

One that’s already saved himself

Instead of two halves

You’ll be two wholes

Through which light will shine

As I taking a step inside my journey
it reveals within conscious breath
a smorgasbord of possibilities.

Food-like dreams surface to digest
in heart, in mind in self to dance.

Aromas fill moment,
as heartbeat takes center stage,
as sparks of excitement catapult me
into new roads of reality.

Words like can’t, fear, separation no longer fit,
as my 3rd eye view intensifies to create a new life.

No GPS is needed just positive thoughts
and the breath that aligns with heart
is enough to shift me into harmony.

Come along and become the architects of this New Earth,
where a feast of love, is present every day.

Come to create the life you have always dreamed.
Choices are unlimited.

StarBG © 2017

I see your face in the moonlit sky
I can’t believe it but oh I try
To imagine a world where time stays at a standstill
You lean in closer but I move back
You can’t decipher my mind tonight
But darling if only you knew
Everything’s falling apart

You say you love me but I don’t see it
I’m hard to love and I know you believe it
Why waste your time when you know
Time will tear us apart, well
maybe thats love?
maybe thats love.

i am alone yet again,
wallowing in thick melancholy
letting the darkness seep onto my mouth
and onto my ribcage it accumulates,
turning my chest into an empty void of despair.

all alone, i gasp for air
but nothing seems to pass through
this black hole i created for myself.

all alone, i am afraid
afraid that this emptiness would swallow me whole
and leave me cold and numb, lifeless.

i am alone yet again,
and i'm out of breath.

Love is...
healing and heartbreak
rebuilding and earthquakes
stitches and a scalpel
sin and a chapel
antidote and poison
the beginning and the end

In the darkness
of an empty room,
I cry in the corner
seeing visions of you.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

As I lay in the dark
of a nice warm bath.
Planning how to take my life away,
I breathe in deeply
drift beneath the water
Until I struggle to breathe
That is when visions of you
resurrect me.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Kneeling in the shower
praying to a God
that doesn't exist.
Don't know the difference
between reality and make believe.
As I look towards the shower head
I still can't see.
These scars that cover me
may need rebandaging.
He's a lost cause,
an abomination.
He's a disgrace
to the human race.
We've been here before
I'm all alone, in this empty room,
Crying in the corner
seeing visions of you

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Oh, I've lost myself
everything makes no sense.
I think about the time
you said that you'd be there,
I'm not sure you even cared.
But your smile saved my life
a million times before.
I'm in need of you,
but this time you're gone.
Not sure I will survive anymore.
As I kneel in the shower
praying to a God that doesn't exist,
This razor penetrates my skin.
The blood trickles down the drain,
He falls to the floor,
crucified he cried
Crucify me tonight.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Oh! My star has fallen tonight,
If they were there,
he might still be alive
every night,
he died a little more inside,
my star has fallen tonight

As I lay in the darkness
of an empty room
staring at the ceiling
seeing visions of you
I see your smile
it puts my mind at rest
I fall asleep
knowing I truly was blessed.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Had to get back
To the pen and the pad
All this is driving me mad
Never sunk this low
Never felt this bad
I've tried washing away all these sins
I've tried burying all of these things
Feels like this room is closing in
All the memories are coming back (back)
I feel cold, alone and trapped (trapped)

Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse me, clean me out
Oh Lord, cleanse my soul
Cleanse me, cleanse me (oh yeah)

Clean me up, clear my head
Bring me to my feet again
I can't seem to walk
With all this weight
Hanging over my shoulders
Take me back
to those Glenmore Park days
Back to where and when I felt safe
There was more than enough love
And protection in the sky above

All these terrible feelings
Are like a collapsing ceiling
Wearing me down, crushing me under
If this keeps up, I'll be six feet under
Trying to dig my way out
Now I realise I need help
Now I see that I can't fight this alone
Now I need a little room to breathe
And let all of the fresh air
Clear all the black smoke in me

Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse me, clean me out
Oh Lord, cleanse my soul
Cleanse me, cleanse me (oh yeah)

Clean me up, clear my head
Bring me to my feet again
I can't seem to walk
With all this weight
Hanging over my shoulders
Take me back
to those Glenmore Park days
Back to where and when I felt safe
There was more than enough love
And protection in the sky above

They say so do you believe in angels?
Maybe there are some watching over you
Maybe there are some watching over me
But only if you have a little faith and just believe
But some people don't believe what they just can't see
I used to be a little sceptical myself
But I'm finding a little belief in spiritual help
That's why I'm asking them to

Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse me, clean me out
Oh Lord, cleanse my soul
Cleanse me, cleanse me (oh yeah)

Clean me up, clear my head
Bring me to my feet again
I can't seem to walk
With all this weight
Hanging over my shoulders
Take me back
to those Glenmore Park days
Back to where and when I felt safe
There was more than enough love
And protection in the sky above

©2017 Written By Benji James