Love you but it hurts like Hell
To see what I do to you
Since the moment we met it seems
Your life has crumbled, fallen through.

Can tell you don't want to blame me
For problems that have risen
What other explanation is there
How we ended up in this position?

Not sure where I led you astray
But amidst dazed conversations
We got lost, wandered off the path
Into a forest of fazing situations.

One catastrophe after the next
Round in circles we run
Lightning strikes, vengeance proud
Each time we think we are done.

Don't know what I did to cause
Pause in progress to your goals
You are falling in *****-traps
Don't remember digging any holes.

Careless steps have consequences
Put fences in your tracks
Unwittingly tackled defenses
Attacks leaving dents on your back.

My smile is weapon of choice
Clearly broken but bear arms
Friends don't think I possess enough strength
My blows do not cause you harm.

Once upon a time we had magic
Holding onto lovestruck days
Holding something quickly fading
Chilled fingertips can hardly graze.

Doubt haunts my every move
Cools the fire which burned so strong
Instinct telling me to run
The picture before me is wrong.

Misguided, confused, questioning everything
More hopeless each troubling day
Broken, insecure, misery loves company
Will I stop painting your skies grey?

I failed in so many inconsiderate ways
A destroyer of all things good
In this prison I know as my life
Regretting decisions I should.

See you stumble on my flaws
Don't know why you stay with me
Think of how much I've  worsened your world
Our future black with all we can't be.

I carry caution with your many compliments
In my center grows cool hesitation
My heart has turned bitter and cold for protection
A solitary sorrow circles my soul in rotation

Hope you take necessary steps
Better yourself and circumstances
Quit stirring up problems voluntarily
Expecting endless charity and chances

I am jaded, your mask is lifted
Now I wish to be blind once more
I've shed the ignorance keeping my joy in
Since I peeled it off can't be happy anymore

I see you everywhere but beside me,
the one place that I need you the most.
I don’t know if you’ve just felt like hiding,
but it feels like I’m being stalked by a ghost.
I think of my life consisting of just time biding,
with parasitic emptiness and I’m the host.
This hits me like waves I am meant to be riding,
and it follows me persistently from coast to coast.

The grass didn’t seem so green back then
I guess all that constant rain did pay off,
‘cause now this little future’s just a casual friend,
and my god looking back the past was soft.
It’s not like I always want to be drenched in sorrow,
I find I look much better in brown, blue or grey,
you know I’d trade in every tomorrow
for just one more yesterday.

I hear every voice but yours in my ears,
the deafening noise has made me forget that sound,
since I’ve heard that sweet melody it’s been too many years,
and every other pitch makes my static brain pound.
I’m always biting my lip but now I’m fighting tears,
I shake my head side to side and around.
I’m quickly losing stamina from battling my fears
and now looking forward to my hole in the ground.

The skies never seemed clear and blue back then,
it turns out that I was the creator of each cloud,
I’m hoarding past calendars so that I can pretend
that I’m back in time and making everyone else proud.
If you’ve got a hour or two that I can borrow,
I swear I’m good for it and whatever price; I’ll pay,
‘cause you know I’d trade in every tomorrow
for just one more yesterday.

I feel you all over, laced in everything,
if it wasn’t such a curse, it’d be a gift.
You’re the peace in winter and the hope in spring,
you’re the summer sun and autumn’s winds so swift.
I’m relieving every memory, looking for a place to cling,
I remember all of the details but the clarity is now adrift.
Side to side, back and forth, I constantly swing,
it pulls and drags me down but it can also give the highest lift.

The sun never seemed to shine right back then,
but maybe I was just too busy looking for artificial light.
I was never one for second looks but I should’ve searched again,
because everything I wanted was already in my sight.
So I plant a seed hoping it will eventually grow
and I sculpt all I wish for with clay,
‘cause you know I’d trade in every tomorrow
for just one more yesterday.