I fall in love a thousand times a day
Never really knowing what that word even means
But spouting it out to every set of eyes that meets mine
Lying to myself
and always trying too hard
I've been broken since the start
I wasn't really built quite right
With a head too big for my body
And a heart that bleeds out, inside
Dripping down into my toes
And keeping me awake, at night
I've been told the truth before
About how I'm all washed up
Letting my addictions control my every breath
And never being
quite strong enough
I never wanted to let it get this far
But here I am
not knowing what to do
Or where to go
Or what to think
I don't even know when I should or shouldn't blink
I'm always afraid I'll wake up
only to realize
that I missed one of the few important parts
of my life
Art is an extrovert.
She goes out clubbing on Saturday nights,
scotch in hand,
indecisiveness plaguing her mind,
dancing ‘til her feet are numb.
She rings the tune of a
White dress, black collar,
I know her face,
but not her name.
From the bar I watch
her obsidian silhouette expand
as her skin becomes rose petals,
and her hips conduct the music.
She looks like a drunken mess,
arms flailing, heels bending,
but to the peculiar mind
an alluring picture.
Inspired by Phosphorescence by J. *******
i was out of motivation to come up w a better title
there are so many whats you'll encounter,
and limited whos you'll love.
the wheres are infinite,
while the hows are arbitrary.
but the whys
they are so **** hard to answer
why must i choke on the truth
why must i be like this
why why why?
why are you the way you are?
what's your hardest why?
Mine is: why do I drink?
Do you ever want to go back to the days in which your biggest concern was if your shower would be the right temperature?
My energy is spent
On putting one thought
In front of the other
So I don't stumble
Over my words
As much as I do
Choke on them
A discomfort that manifests through a plethora of delusions
Torturous thoughts brutalizing my mind like brain contusions
Causing an endless cycle of suffering and confusion
Sifting through the lies, misunderstandings, and illusions
Chasing the light in the darkness praying for it’s diffusion
A razor blade or a bullet are the only solutions
I’m sailing near the fringes of happiness and despair
Along the river of misery where our souls are stripped bare
On the border of the ignorant who live life without a care
And the knowledgeable hanging from nooses painfully aware
It’s a tumultuous journey to the light bringers lair
And should not be undertaken lightly so you must beware
Of all the deceit, misinformation, traps and snares
Self reflection is a dark wooded path filled with lynched souls
A forest of decaying dreams, aspirations, and goals
Endless entrances and passageways to endless rabbit holes
Demons feasting upon children without restraint or control
They say on the other side there’s sunshine and pastures of green
Crystal clear waters and ceremonies where angels convene
Blue sky’s and warm weather where everyone’s just peachy keen
But all I foresee is warfare, cancer victims, and ruptured spleens
Genocide, systematic **** and all things obscene
Time flies when you're having fun?
*******, time flies when you're down and done.
Time flies when you're dying inside.
When you're picking up the pieces and crying in need,
There's no time, to settle or ease.
There's no time, because time never sleeps.
There's no time, so don't beg and don't plead.
Time will leave you for dead.
Time left, and it doesn't care about the time that you spent.
You're going through the motions and you're barely alive but,
time flies when you're dying inside.
You died two years ago,
when she left.
Yea you're still walking but you're just a corpse with a heartbeat and you know it.
She never bothered to release the restraints she placed on you so you stay shackled by misery in a room guarded by lonliness.
You sit as your heart tears at itself while your brain stands watching in callous disinterest.
but each inhale leaves only the feeling of drowning without the sweet escape of death.
You beg the reaper to take you, he says he wants to see how this all plays out.
He's never seen a man eat his own heart.
Everyone else insists you must keep going but,
they don't know what you know.
They don't know you died
two years ago,
when she left.
Maybe some day she'll see this, but I don't think it'll be a revelation of any significance.