you said you loved me




                                                   but you really meant you loved my attention

so i guess that's it


                                                        maybe i'll see you around?

-i really can't sleep, nothing is working

                                                -that's okay, close your eyes and count to ten

-no, i can't sleep, my mind is not functioning.

                                              -that's okay, i'm here. close your eyes and rest

-i need help, no one is listening

                                           -you should rest. close your eyes and go to bed.
-
-
-
-
                                                                                            -see you tomorrow.

i just want you to notice that i'm hurting


                      t

                                        o

                                                            o

one day,

we won't be so sad

every love song i listen to is always dedicated to you

as we stand there

hand in hand

falling back

so gracefully

i want you to

remember me as i was

before i turned into

what you were

it's okay

to be

afraid
sometimes,


because i am afraid,

too,
sometimes

****





                   you

i just want to rip the scars you left on me off

i just want to remove the thoughts of you from my mind

i just want to burn the image of you out of my thoughts

i just want to pretend like you no longer exist

Little girl,

do not believe
-
not even for a second

that you matter to anyone.

so i guess you
         k
            n
                o
                   w

but i should have
              k
                  n
                      o
    ­                      w
                               n

this is how it would be.

everyone else already
                                k
                              ­       n
                                         e
                                              w
that.

i just wish i didnt
                            k
                               n
                                  o
                           ­         w
i was right.

Now that my poems aren't about you

they have no true meaning.

Please come back.

beep

beep

i'm ringing up your items
answering your questions
and bagging your items

because the only way to be able to make it in life

is to be a slave for someone else

dont get my hopes up

                 and pull them down to earth
                            
                                   ­  and stomp them into the ground

                                                      you­ inconsiderate ****

just like my lungs need oxygen,


i need you to hold my hand and tell me that everything will be okay

you
       ****
              me
                   the
                       ****
                              off

please
           go
               away
                        now

As I stepped foot on the beach for the first time this weekend, my head was spinning.

This was such a great experience for me, I've always wanted to go to the beach. And I was extremely jealous of everyone who got to go, multiple times in one year.

The sun was beating down on to my sunscreened filled skin.
My toes were submerged in the sand, which was sticking to my feet.

And then it hit me, this is such a normal experience for someone. Walking on to the beach in the blazing heat, splashing in the ocean with their best friends, jumping into waves; it's all normal things.

But to me, this experience was extraordinary.

So remember, be thankful for every little thing you have.

Every experience. Every action.  

Some people would die for things like that.

I love looking back at our old messages because  at one point during your life

You took time at of your day to talk to me

******* for making me fall for you.

        ******* for making me notice the corruption in today's world

                ******* for making me notice you

                        ******* for being flawless

                                ******* for having ocean blue eyes

                                       ******* for having the gosh **** cutest laugh
                                                  
                                                  *******
                                      
                                      
******* for making me fall for you and not doing a **** thing about it

You are the rainbow that forms when the sunshine beats a rainy day
You are the painkiller that defeats my headache
You are the kiss a lover gives their lover when they come home from work
You are the family that adopts a helpless child
You are the passing grade a failing kid receives
You are my everything, and I love you

It's okay to think, friend.

but
                        don't trust yourself early in the morning.

When your thoughts are running rapidly in your mind
telling you that you're no better
than that bottle of pills in the cabinet, used to remedy a physical pain
                          
                         don't trust yourself early in the morning

When your thoughts are running rapidly in your mind
telling you that you won't be missed
that you're better off dead rather than a forgotten memory

                          don't trust yourself early in the morning

Instead, get a cold glass of water
blow your nose
take a deep breath
tuck yourself in your bed
and close your eyes
then let sleep take over you

I've got sunshine in my pocket
           butterflies in my veins
                gold inside my heart
                     diamonds inside my eyes
                           and a loaded gun inside my mind


tell me again, why do I need you?

embrace me in comfort
embrace me in discomfort
embrace me in antipathy
embrace me in love
embrace me in anger
embrace me in joy
embrace me in melancholy
embrace me in enthusiasm
embrace
              me
                     in
                           .......

here's a poem
for that 2 am feeling

that leaves you in bed
with all your covers on
along with those hot flashes
that cut deep
and sting hard
leaving you without an aspiration in the world

it's finally became clear to me:

                                     you're nothing worth chasing

Rest your hands on my waist
        and I'll rest mine on your shoulders

Glide with me around the venue
          and tango with me across the dance floor

Buy nasty food with me
         and spill Shirley Temple on my pure white dress with me

Poss for professional photos with me
        and rest your chest against my back as I blush

Hold me close
         as I hold my breath
              hoping this moment-
                             this night-
                                     never ends.

i took a risk

                                      which i really regret

who was i to think

                                     that i actually could be strong


and now as the walls of reality crash down upon me

                                        
                                      i realize that i am not strong

nor valiant

                                        i am weak

and fragile

                                     i am worth no more dead

than alive