They say college is the best time of your life,
But dante's seventh circle, seems serene
A paradise for my spring break, free from this agony.

I find myself choking on my beliefs,
Torn from my heart, and jammed back down my throat;
By people who praise diversity of ideas, but only listen to their own words.

My education has been one of hate,
Hated for my ideas on how to help others,
Just because I wasn't of the same mind.

I can't escape myself, alone, in a sea of self loathing
Drowning in underhanded insults and ostrification,
Gasping for air, refusing to turn blue

My confidence in being loved has been completely shattered,
Afraid of the testosterone that makes me who I am,
My very sexuality offensive and toxic.

I look in the mirror seeing a freak,
Someone undeserving of breath,
And in these, the best years of my life.

It starts as a way to forget,
No not to forget, just numb.
It starts as a way to numb,
The splintered glass deep inside my chest

The first few drinks bring peace
No they feign it, illusions
As it poisons my body and mind
The whiskey coils around my heart

As it constricts I feel the pain
And anger I tried to escape.
I pour another glass hoping
For the illusion to persist.

Desperate now I put the bottle to my lips
And as the liqueur flows into my blood
The words flow from me into my pen
Expelling the pain, expelling the cardio-wounds

I trade pain for poison
The bottle's dry
I lay my head down ease myself back
And wonder if I wrote this poem or if it belongs to J. W. Black

I feel the burn in the top of my mouth
Pellets tear puncture and perforate
They open my mind and the thoughts pour out
And fill my mouth with warm liquid salt

Lead ***** race to the deepest parts
They find the obliterate the memories
They erase them, destroy the fear
Bringing peace the silence of fresh snow

Astronauts exit my skull pulling hopes and dreams
With everything I ever could have been, gone
I fall to the floor a thread unraveled at the seam
And white light covers my eyes, a blizzard of lost ambition

Feeling the fear, of feeling alone
I turn to liquid in crystal stone.
I pour the acid into my cup.
And pray to God that I have enough.

Alone again, freezing as my body burns,
Seeking the devil for which I yearn.
I swallow the ghost, haunting my mind;
And breath new life through dilated eyes.

Holding on to a crescent moon,
Called into life by my blackened spoon.
I feel the demon, his needle fangs,
Inject himself in my flowing veins.

Higher now than ever before,
She knows just what her body's for,
Feigning love, for just one night.
I'm still alone; but for now I feel alright.

In storms of hate, the black snow falls.
Covering and choking all.
It's cold enough to freeze a flame.
It takes your heart, and then your name.

Jealousy will feed the storm,
Taking on a whole new form.
The black snow falls in heavy sheets,
All roads point now to cold defeat.

From all the wounds that I've been told,
The crystal hate falls hard and cold.
I breath in, all the broken glass,
That's falling from my shattered past.

Love beneath the black snow lay,
My only hope will fade away.
Unless forgiveness breaks the night,
And melts the snow with warmth and light.

Hate is strong, but love is too,
There is nothing left for me to do,
Accept forgive and dawn the day,
Or underneath the black snow lay.

He walks up to her
Cute and calm
In her boots of fur
He walks up to her

With a smile he says hi
Cute and calm
She turns to look him in the eye
And with a nod she says good bye

He sees another girl
Poised and pretty
Decides to give it a whirl
He sees another girl

He taps her on the shoulder
Poised and pretty
Could he be the one to hold her
She turns to scoff forever colder

As he sits and waits for the world to shift
He thinks oh yeah oh yeah I've got the gift
What I say and what I do it's all irrelevant
I was born to be the female repellant