I hate how even when you walk away
When you tune it out
When you count black sheep all day
The pain is still there to stay
You try so hard not to let these voices lead you astray
Trying so hard You've lead yourself into a pit
You made this pit out of anger, frustration, sorrow, jealousy, and pain in their purest forms
Because in this hole that's all that seems to fit
Once inside this hole there's no way out
No instruction kit
You begin to hallucinate
As if dreaming your way out of it will change your fate
You'd die for a key to open that gate
but instead...
You're stuck here
in this pit
And nobody gives a ****
because your just another *******

It's like ..I can not feel
There's a void inside and no instructions
as to how to fill it
It's like..It's gone
..nonexistent
Must've mistook it for trash and threw it away
Lost in a land field
I'll never find it
So I've decided to live without
I've grown impatient
You swear you love me just as they all do
And just as I always do..I do not feel
I can not feel
But I want to
I need to
..And so I play along
Because this..is what I want
I want you
Just not as you want me
I can not tell you I dream of you
..Because I do not dream
I can not tell you I think of you all day
..Because I purposely distract myself to keep from getting lost in my thoughts
I can not tell you that I love you
Because I do not know what that feeling is
But I want to
I wish I could
Just as I wish I could end this
before you get too deep
I can not feel
But you can
You do
What good is your light
If I am blind
Just as the blind cover their eyes with glasses To mimic those who can see..
I use my words to mimic those who are truly in love
Because that is what I want
But..
I can not feel

People notice
They just choose not care
Cameras will not focus
No extra lens to spare
No
No extra lens to share
People kick you down when your at your lowest
Then complain life's not fair
The world we live in is ferocious
But I try not to let it get into my hair
Everyone's hard head like locust
Complain the rules are bogus
But push the good down the stair
People betray the kin who's closest
Then hate God when their hearts broken beyond repair
Stubborn Ignorance is the diagnosis
The world will never change I swear

I'm trying to keep my promise to her
I'm balancing on a wire and my legs are chained because I am hell bound
I wanna give in and let het her down
but I'll drop myself back In the hole I spent years crawling out of up until now
And never did I make a sound
So Never did word get around
That I was drowned
Never to be found
Had to naw at the shackles till they gave lee
Still running way to the north will I make it baby we'll see
And hopefully if I do youll be standing Right there next to me
These fakes stay flexing to me
But you
Your different
you help me find the light
your wrestling with me
I set that up wrong it's not as it seems
We stand here steady fighting
And we're on the same team
But now that I am halfway out of this hole
I seemed to forget that making you happy was my original goal
And I'm sorry
I really am
It pains me in my soul
But lately I feel like my hearts been burning  like coal
Preventing me from continuing my goal and so what I want to tell you is that I am sorry
I WILL do better
You don't have to accept my apology
Just reread this letter
And know that I love you forever

For a moment you think your good.
For a moment you're just so happy to see the water.
So happy that for a moment your ignorant that the picture painted in your pretty little head is just a mirage.
For a while you'll feel discouraged
till another moment passes you by and you'll just keep on repeating till you finally stumble apon an oasis
But remember
eventually it'll dry up and once again you'll live for the moments
and dread the whiles

I don't write uplifting words
my poems are  stones I throw at the soaring birds
Because I'm jealous
Yearning to get that high and it makes me rebellious
All I want is a friend
But y'all just pretend
I invite you to a home
Love you just like kin
And what do I get in return
A back stab and a burn
But just wait
Just wait  youll get yo turn
Think one day you'll learn
That what you get is what you earn
What you dish
Is what you fish
What you leave
Is what you receive
Then one day we can try again
You can try to accompany me