I see you laying there
starving
sleep deprived  
yearning for a home  
Now of course if I see this
it's not something I'd condone
So I take you in and for once
love is the only thing your shown
But I guess too much love is infectious
My guards down I'm defenseless
As you grow sick
You grow expectant
of me
Of me cleaning your mind with my hand made disinfectant
Of me feeding you
Feeding you with a dish of my famous soul stew
Of me staying up till 4
Staying up because The thought of you asking
and me not having the perfect reply devours me to the core
Of me picking at myself
Picking at my skin to make sure that these arms you call your home are presentable
Of me being selfless
So selfless that I forget to eat and I won't rest because I feel inclined
I HAVE to give you the best
Of me trying to be name brand
Trying to be name brand because you've had enough cheap ones
and so I give you real because for once they will attack and we will remain strong standing hand in hand
But i guess even name brands wear out
Ive been trying to replace the worn pieces with out a doubt
Though
I have no help because of my reputation
I have to make the parts with my bare hands and imagination
Don't worry about me though
I'm done with this hell
My orphanage is going back on the market
Going for sell  
And if there's no one brave enough to step up to the plate then I guess I'll have to blow this house down on my own
It won't even be hard because I'm not like my brother who made his of stone
As I said from the beginning
I see you laying there
starving
sleep deprived  
yearning for a home  
Now of course if I see this
it's not something I'd condone
But baby now My walls are brittle
So I'll just cheer you on
"You got this! Been doing this since you were little."

I do it too often gotta lock my pen up
Put it in a coffin
It happens when I talk to anyone
Tried to stop it but my gift is on its own time it keeps on going
My constant writing gets annoying And everyone keeps on pointing
Wondering when my time will come
And then I can laugh in everyones face rejoicing

Where I'm at currently is so cold
Think it's time to finally pack
hit the road
Find a new home
Somewhere where the Suns so hot you turn to stone
Somewhere where i laugh till my sides make me moan & groan
Where you don't have to act like ur on ur phone
You can be you
The shoe doesn't have to fit
If u wanna change then go ahead don't follow the rules of the instruction kit
If you like it
forget what they think of it
Don't worry if they don't permit
Half of them counterfeit
Ya you get what you want to get

You never find me in big crowds of people
Because from afar it appears fun and peaceful
but looks can often be deceitful
I never had sleepovers with the girls
Because they'd send my emotions sky rocketing in swirls
And I know for a fact I'm fragile like pearls
So putting myself in those situations just seemed cheatfull
don't spend time with many people
I clamp on to one person
They'll throw me a bone and Ill continue the burden
Learnin the hurting has turned me into a person weak people have been subdued to servin
Realizing I'm manipulative
I stalk my prey And do so premeditative  
The cycle starts over every year it's repetitive
To me
The game is easy
Not very competitive

Why is it you choose to only yell at me
How come when Something goes wrong Im the only one your blind eyes can see
I mean ya it was me but only to a certain degree
You talk to them
but to me u act beastly
You say I can talk freely
But then stop me in my tracks saying u disagree
You throw my will around like a frisbee
And when I react you say "woah calm down love take a knee"
You love to preach how I can be "anything I wanna be"
Yet when I tell you
you act as if your the referee
Calling me back to reality
You cook me on the stove like I'm a panini
And yes that maybe have been a hyperbole
But It's like I'm trying to live my life without a short coming
And your killing me slowly
ur like a H.I.V
In fact it feels like I'm throwing a party
But you don't like it so ur knocking on my door like ur the l.a.p.d
I'm Tryna rid u of my life a.s.ap
But I mean hey ur my parents and I'm and only fifteen

I almost made it to the finish line
but somewhere along I took a wrong turn
segregation’s aftermath still lingering

self inflicted prejudice over one’s skin abstained
self antagonism over one’s curl pattern deeply rooted
self oppugnancy over one’s own race persistent

I know I’m not on the right course
yet blindly I continue
shackling the dependent to me
as i spiral down this cascade

too intimidated to speak out
too worried about social acceptance
too cowardly to admit it

taught that color coding is inferior
but favoritism to a specific color is acceptable


I see police brutality to a specific race
whereas other countries see
Americans killing other Americans

Republicans and Democrats both preach unity
Yet stand divided in one house
but I’m in constant denial
because I was raised as a hypocrite

I want change
but only half of me is willing to fish for that change

it wasn't always the way
minorities didn’t have a voice
so they fought for one

generations later they hoard that voice
locked in a shed
collecting dust

My people have the tools
therefore
don't be fooled
because it’s only a matter of time
before they put them to use
and mold a beautiful sculpture