the day you leave is the day ill throw away my chapstick
my tears will become a moisturizer for lost hope
and each time a tiny crack appears i'll wish you would make it better
the day you dont pull me into you when you kiss me is when ill throw away my lotion
i would hope that our combined moisture will drench the inside of my thighs just fine
there is no backup plan or rebound
i've never been one to run with one ball
or to chase someone with something i so desperately want
how will i explain to my children why my favorite number is thirteen?
its almost as if im waiting for heartbreak
it seems inevitable with a brain like mine
so full of "what if" and "you know whats weird?"
without you all i have to look forward to is highschool teenagers finding the pattern of my sad in all of my writings

I wanted to fill the cracks of his mind, and breathe his very breath. Need consumed by deep desire, leaving me scared to death.

I hung a rope on that tree, where I used to kneel and pray. Struggling to keep my head up, waiting for something he refused to say.

I wanted to slip and fall into arms, eager to break my fall. Scattered hopes cast about, that are just shadow puppets on the wall.

I cupped my hands to catch his tears, but the favor was never repaid. Slip the rope around my neck, in hopes to repair the mess I made.

I wasted all my saved up wishes, just in the end to tie the knot. I finally took that step and hang myself, with all the promises he forgot.

He is like the moon I think, while he's fast asleep. Wondering what he's dreaming of, and if he's mine to keep.

I could be his sun, wash away skies of painted grey. Brighten up his essence, if he'd only let me stay.

Counting stars is endless, it goes on into infinite space. When I close my eyes at night, I hope to see his face.

Today I looked for patterns in the clouds, but thoughts of him wouldn't flee. Images form from a far, is he my destiny?

The sun and moon search the skies, for something they had missed.
Turn your face towards that place, where hearts begin eclipse.

He always comes back,
reeking of regret and apology,
Hands unsteady and shaking.

Soft knocks on my door,
one..two..three,
I always pause for four,
bracing myself as I answer.

He looks the same,
carmel skin and strong jawed,
Silence forgotten in embrace,
yet intimacy is stale.

Flooding with tainted memories,
He pours out tears I can't catch,
broken promises I can't mend,
wishes I can't grant.

This is the last time..
please he breathes into my hair,
pleading for refuge.
I know he is seeking sanctuary,
but he's already left me in ruin.

He always comes back,
for that desecrated relic of a heart,
that he won't leave behind.

I reach
       arms stretched
welcoming them into my bed.

Lips on skin
        I taste and touch
eagerly spreading long legs.

Our body's collide
    Show me my worth
what do I know of my value?

I need so much...
    emotional pushed away
only physical as they enter me.

Rough and wanted
skin set fire
     I like it when it hurts.

Release granted
they always stare the same
    wide eyes on my face.

Hush your pretty mouth
they always say before they go
      kissing swollen lips.

Just another indent
another man to call me beautiful
    another mark on a once pure soul.

The city sleeps among its incandescence,
however,
she does not.
she watches,
she waits.
Locked in the safety
of her ivory tower,
her pale nakedness
becoming a silky glow in
the dim light of the room.
She is imprisoned
by her beauty,
though she is loved by many
she loves only one.
She waits up for him,
as a stranger
to the sea of sheets
that cling to her bare legs.
She hears footsteps
from down the hall
and questions,
is it her lover?
or is it another
who insists to pay for
her love.
She works the night,
a high end harlot.
Her sorrow wanes
like a wounded cry from
a beaten wolf.
Knuckles wrap against
the hotel door,
and she turns her gaze
from the city outside the window,
her hair moving
like dancing rays of
stolen light.
She reaches for the lipstick
on the night stand,
and walks bare skinned
and beautiful to the door.

As night descends
Upon the light,
Our cages slumber
And prisoners reduce
In number.

Fear belated.
Calm ecstasy
Flies free,
Happiness,
Just a wish away.

Space,
The prisoner’s only trail,
Freedom.
Time no longer
The strings
That bind.

To soar
Through emptiness,
Eternity.
The only factor.
Imagination.
The limit.

A being
Awakened.
No longer blinded
By the drives
Of embodiment,
The soils
That pains
Grow from.

Just a self;
A personality.
No condition
Of humanity.

Myself with myself,
Floating
In unreality;
Alone.

Now
I’m losing
The border between
Space and time;
A lost child
In the storm.
Where unity
And so much more
Is the favored factor.
Here all
Organic life exists,
And I just am.

Loneliness
Becomes my only
Cleanliness.

My lost child screams
By fear are found.
Sniffing me out,
A hound cloaked in drear.

Ecstasy stolen.
Happiness
Becomes a bleak at best
Probability.
I sink my only differential
Into darkness,
Where time’s spiders spin
Their binding strings.

Imagination
No longer the limit.
Instead
The constraints.
Locked
Back in my cage.  
Fear has thrown
The key away,
And turned my trail
To the skittering dark.
Where light
Destroys
The night.

You were a glorious chain of smoke and mirrors when I loved you
But now that love is dead, I wish you were
Instead you turned into something darker
Crueler
A monster
Love doesn't dare reside in you for you are a massacre
I'll leave you to rot in the abuse you gave me
Maggots of irony
The blowflies won't mind the bleach
Stay dead
Decay looks good on you

I untie my hair from its knot, I just want to be set free. Place my bare feet on the earth, and allow it to heal me.

I could not stand by anymore, stolen sentiments in fist. Waiting for a sign from him, wondering what I've missed.

Long hair flowing in the breeze, I now turn my face to the sky. Wind reminds me as tears fall, that it does no good to cry.

So instead I dance to feel the universe, for joy to fill me once more. Wild and unobtainable, I've felt this pain before.

Gypsy souls are meant to wander, forever too be free. My heart is struggling just to find, why he means so much to me.

I never thought
I'd get off this high horse,
For my feet to touch the earth
And feel something,
No clouds to obstruct my view,
Throwing the rose tinted glasses
To the ground
And crush them into the soil,
But new realisations can be
Hard to deal with,
So I must take my time
To piece it together