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"potty" poems
(for Christopher Isherwood) Seated after breakfast In this white-tiled cabin Arabs call the House where Everybody goes, Even melancholics Raise a cheer to Mrs. Nature for the primal Pleasure She bestows. *** is but a dream to Seventy-and-over, But a joy proposed un- -til we start to shave: Mouth-delight depends on Virtue in the cook, but This She guarantees from Cradle unto grave. Lifted off the ***** Infants from their mothers Hear their first impartial Words of worldly praise: Hence, to start the morning With a satisfactory Dump is a good omen All our adult days. Revelation came to Luther in a privy (Crosswords have been solved there) Rodin was no fool When he cast his Thinker, Cogitating deeply, Crouched in the position Of a man at stool. All the arts derive from This ur-act of making, Private to the artist: Makers' lives are spent Striving in their chosen Medium to produce a De-narcissus-ized en- During excrement. Freud did not invent the Constipated miser: Banks have letter boxes Built in their façade Marked For Night Deposits, Stocks are firm or liquid, Currencies of nations Either soft or hard. Global Mother, keep our Bowels of compassion Open through our lifetime, Purge our minds as well: Grant us a king ending, Not a second childhood, Petulant, weak-sphinctered, In a cheap hotel. Keep us in our station: When we get pound-notish, When we seem about to Take up Higher Thought, Send us some deflating Image like the pained ex- -pression on a Major Prophet taken short. (Orthodoxy ought to Bless our modern plumbing: Swift and St. Augustine Lived in centuries When a stench of sewage Made a strong debating Point for Manichees.) Mind and Body run on Different timetables: Not until our morning Visit here can we Leave the dead concerns of Yesterday behind us, Face with all our courage What is now to be.
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The Geography of the House
(for Christopher Isherwood) Seated after breakfast In this white-tiled cabin Arabs call the House where Everybody goes, Even melancholics Raise a cheer to Mrs. Nature for the primal Pleasure She bestows. *** is but a dream to Seventy-and-over, But a joy proposed un- -til we start to shave: Mouth-delight depends on Virtue in the cook, but This She guarantees from Cradle unto grave. Lifted off the ***** Infants from their mothers Hear their first impartial Words of worldly praise: Hence, to start the morning With a satisfactory Dump is a good omen All our adult days. Revelation came to Luther in a privy (Crosswords have been solved there) Rodin was no fool When he cast his Thinker, Cogitating deeply, Crouched in the position Of a man at stool. All the arts derive from This ur-act of making, Private to the artist: Makers' lives are spent Striving in their chosen Medium to produce a De-narcissus-ized en- During excrement. Freud did not invent the Constipated miser: Banks have letter boxes Built in their façade Marked For Night Deposits, Stocks are firm or liquid, Currencies of nations Either soft or hard. Global Mother, keep our Bowels of compassion Open through our lifetime, Purge our minds as well: Grant us a king ending, Not a second childhood, Petulant, weak-sphinctered, In a cheap hotel. Keep us in our station: When we get pound-notish, When we seem about to Take up Higher Thought, Send us some deflating Image like the pained ex- -pression on a Major Prophet taken short. (Orthodoxy ought to Bless our modern plumbing: Swift and St. Augustine Lived in centuries When a stench of sewage Made a strong debating Point for Manichees.) Mind and Body run on Different timetables: Not until our morning Visit here can we Leave the dead concerns of Yesterday behind us, Face with all our courage What is now to be.
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80
“You are worth more than the marigolds” I am assured by my loving mother as a child I believe her because the beauty in everything flow’rs and flourishes when you’re young The world is yours to take, everyone is yours to meet, everything is yours to do; and I believe her. “You are worth more than the marigolds” My first friend at school proclaims, and I believe them. We’ve tackled ***** training and preschool, now onto the playground and phonics! We run and run together, taking the world like we’ve whispered once before; and I believe them. “You are worth more than the marigolds” The middle school test scores announce, and I believe them. Primary school is in the past and I’m ready for responsibility! I put on makeup to feel pretty, care about my grades more than the teachers believe and flash my smile to the boys who spit “compliments” at my feet; and I believe them. “You are worth more than the marigolds” but.. I don’t believe them anymore. I’ve gained just enough confidence to smile at everyone in the halls in case they are having a bad day. Suddenly my youthful euphoric vision is graffitied with hateful words and violence. I run and constantly chase the innocence of the world, being surrounded by darkness. My self esteem has hit an all time low. Why is the world this way? My friends and I chase what we used to believe and end up in deep holes; and I don’t believe them anymore. “You are worth more than the marigolds” And it doesn’t matter. I have lost all hope of finding that beauty. My heart is an aching mess of “I love you”’s But all I hear is “you are meaningless” Slowly these phrases of deep hate sear into my soul I hear them every day and every night You are meaningless You are not worthy You could not possibly be good enough Until I wake up one dismal morning to realize that I have been defined by the ones around me. “You are worth more than the marigolds” ..and enough! Because even my friends who say I’m worth something turn around and sneer at others like they can’t too be loved. Because while the world screams “I hate people” I whisper “but I don’t”. But that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things because we’ll find someone who loves us, right? No. Our words between just us mean nothing if we spin around and spit in others’ faces. And we know we hurt because we’ve been hurt but we don’t stop, none of us stop. I dream of a world that screams a vulnerable “I love you” out into the world instead of a pulsing “I hate you” And a world that remembers that we are all worthy of love and not only the kind that makes you blush. “You are worth more than the marigolds” The phrase I’ve heard since I was in my mother’s gentle hold can only mean so much when you think you’re crumpled. Stashed away until you’re needed always feeling so defeated but the truth not told enough to our weakened souls We are all worth more than the marigolds
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Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 11:15 PM UTC
You Are Worth More Than The Marigolds
“You are worth more than the marigolds” I am assured by my loving mother as a child I believe her because the beauty in everything flow’rs and flourishes when you’re young The world is yours to take, everyone is yours to meet, everything is yours to do; and I believe her. “You are worth more than the marigolds” My first friend at school proclaims, and I believe them. We’ve tackled ***** training and preschool, now onto the playground and phonics! We run and run together, taking the world like we’ve whispered once before; and I believe them. “You are worth more than the marigolds” The middle school test scores announce, and I believe them. Primary school is in the past and I’m ready for responsibility! I put on makeup to feel pretty, care about my grades more than the teachers believe and flash my smile to the boys who spit “compliments” at my feet; and I believe them. “You are worth more than the marigolds” but.. I don’t believe them anymore. I’ve gained just enough confidence to smile at everyone in the halls in case they are having a bad day. Suddenly my youthful euphoric vision is graffitied with hateful words and violence. I run and constantly chase the innocence of the world, being surrounded by darkness. My self esteem has hit an all time low. Why is the world this way? My friends and I chase what we used to believe and end up in deep holes; and I don’t believe them anymore. “You are worth more than the marigolds” And it doesn’t matter. I have lost all hope of finding that beauty. My heart is an aching mess of “I love you”’s But all I hear is “you are meaningless” Slowly these phrases of deep hate sear into my soul I hear them every day and every night You are meaningless You are not worthy You could not possibly be good enough Until I wake up one dismal morning to realize that I have been defined by the ones around me. “You are worth more than the marigolds” ..and enough! Because even my friends who say I’m worth something turn around and sneer at others like they can’t too be loved. Because while the world screams “I hate people” I whisper “but I don’t”. But that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things because we’ll find someone who loves us, right? No. Our words between just us mean nothing if we spin around and spit in others’ faces. And we know we hurt because we’ve been hurt but we don’t stop, none of us stop. I dream of a world that screams a vulnerable “I love you” out into the world instead of a pulsing “I hate you” And a world that remembers that we are all worthy of love and not only the kind that makes you blush. “You are worth more than the marigolds” The phrase I’ve heard since I was in my mother’s gentle hold can only mean so much when you think you’re crumpled. Stashed away until you’re needed always feeling so defeated but the truth not told enough to our weakened souls We are all worth more than the marigolds
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64
To *** or not to *** that is the question whether it is easy on my mom to use the ***** or to wet my pants. **** it is a dud out **** ***  out!
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Oct 14, 2012
Oct 14, 2012 at 5:10 PM UTC
Shakes-Pee-n-Run
You know how the Lorax spoke for the trees? I feel the need to speak for my four-year-old niece. Not because she can't speak -- she can and rarely stops once she starts -- but because there are certain concepts time has yet to grant her. So until time does, I got you covered, Lucy. Mommy, you call it the "poetry" of a child's sleep, ohh 'n ahh, she's so, so sweet, I call it child's "pose." Not the yoga neither. I'm posing and rolling and cooing biding time until you're tripping on the Ambien retreating to a dream. You're only reprieve. 'Cause when your *** is asleep, I be mixing up the Play-doh, red and yellow, black and white, 'till it's 50 shades of brown, alright? Dirt pies from the backyard, put 'em by the brownies in the morning world-weary in your pajamys Slip-up, slip-up, I smell a slip-up. Ain't a direct threat, Queen Buttercup because you'd just say, "I ain't afraid of you, shorty." Blood flow. Blood slow. Simmering, saucy. Mommy, looking down skyscraper balcony. May I remind, a giant ain't bringing down Manhattan, It's that little, wayward wrecking ball, eh Captain? Over my shoulder, drinking from a thermos -- stumble in your step mean you gettin' nervous-- hand me piece of paper and two crayons macaroni orange and swamp water liaisons these coloring sheets are so bourgeoisie. These coloring sheets are so bourgeoisie. "Color outside the lines, eh Lucy? don't play by the rules," my Mommy say, but I been around long enough to know dat 'dese rules pay. Outside the lines?  Is just uh sloppy. Been outside the club in front of the line with my fellow shawties. Slip-up, slip-up, I smell a slip-up. Ain't a direct threat, Queen Buttercup because you'd just say, "I ain't afraid of you, shorty." Blood flow. Blood slow. Simmering, saucy. Mommy, looking down skyscraper balcony. May I remind, a giant ain't bringing down Manhattan, It's that little, wayward wrecking ball, eh Captain? Chicken and fries three meals-a-day. Chocolate milk three meals-a-day. Tricycle boys three wheels away. Hands on your hips can't make me stay. Lego blocks lodged in your skull. I've hid the Advil. The Dayquil. Drank the Nyquil though. Alright, alright, time to get confessional. All my ***** accidents are intentional. I melt my own Barbies to feel alive. Snort glue sticks just to get hella high. Mommy, you've got a messy ketchup face. Mommy, you've got spiders in your hair. Mommy, you've got ****** on your pants. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Bi-otch. Blood flow. Blood slow. Simmering, saucy. Mommy, looking down skyscraper balcony. May I remind, a giant ain't bringing down Manhattan, It's that little, wayward wrecking ball, eh Captain?
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Apr 18, 2013
Apr 18, 2013 at 7:29 PM UTC
Wrecking Ball Freestyle (For Lucy Claire)
You know how the Lorax spoke for the trees? I feel the need to speak for my four-year-old niece. Not because she can't speak -- she can and rarely stops once she starts -- but because there are certain concepts time has yet to grant her. So until time does, I got you covered, Lucy. Mommy, you call it the "poetry" of a child's sleep, ohh 'n ahh, she's so, so sweet, I call it child's "pose." Not the yoga neither. I'm posing and rolling and cooing biding time until you're tripping on the Ambien retreating to a dream. You're only reprieve. 'Cause when your *** is asleep, I be mixing up the Play-doh, red and yellow, black and white, 'till it's 50 shades of brown, alright? Dirt pies from the backyard, put 'em by the brownies in the morning world-weary in your pajamys Slip-up, slip-up, I smell a slip-up. Ain't a direct threat, Queen Buttercup because you'd just say, "I ain't afraid of you, shorty." Blood flow. Blood slow. Simmering, saucy. Mommy, looking down skyscraper balcony. May I remind, a giant ain't bringing down Manhattan, It's that little, wayward wrecking ball, eh Captain? Over my shoulder, drinking from a thermos -- stumble in your step mean you gettin' nervous-- hand me piece of paper and two crayons macaroni orange and swamp water liaisons these coloring sheets are so bourgeoisie. These coloring sheets are so bourgeoisie. "Color outside the lines, eh Lucy? don't play by the rules," my Mommy say, but I been around long enough to know dat 'dese rules pay. Outside the lines?  Is just uh sloppy. Been outside the club in front of the line with my fellow shawties. Slip-up, slip-up, I smell a slip-up. Ain't a direct threat, Queen Buttercup because you'd just say, "I ain't afraid of you, shorty." Blood flow. Blood slow. Simmering, saucy. Mommy, looking down skyscraper balcony. May I remind, a giant ain't bringing down Manhattan, It's that little, wayward wrecking ball, eh Captain? Chicken and fries three meals-a-day. Chocolate milk three meals-a-day. Tricycle boys three wheels away. Hands on your hips can't make me stay. Lego blocks lodged in your skull. I've hid the Advil. The Dayquil. Drank the Nyquil though. Alright, alright, time to get confessional. All my ***** accidents are intentional. I melt my own Barbies to feel alive. Snort glue sticks just to get hella high. Mommy, you've got a messy ketchup face. Mommy, you've got spiders in your hair. Mommy, you've got ****** on your pants. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Bi-otch. Blood flow. Blood slow. Simmering, saucy. Mommy, looking down skyscraper balcony. May I remind, a giant ain't bringing down Manhattan, It's that little, wayward wrecking ball, eh Captain?
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Another morning in the life Of a P.T.D, I slurped my Juice back all  400 ml, then Stretched up, fingers Wiggling as mother picked Me up. Snuggles in the morning Nothing better, to show I'm Loved. But back to business, As I turned my dummy to The opposite side, the taste Is better every time its turned Soothing with each **** It was nearly breakfast time A belly is never wrong, MMmmm... Toast and jam, I smile At mummy with my Cheshire Jam smiled face. "Silly little man" As she wipes the smudges From all over my face. A case to solve, was my plan, The missing statue of SANDMAN BOB tm. It was here before, but now Gone, the prized possession Of hairy dog, as I pat his head And he licks my face Yuckkkk.... Doggy that was yuck, he wags His tail and then he is off. What a morning so much done, Time for a nap then detective Work to be done. I wake to Dads voice, "Morning little man" "How was your nap" As i give my answer with a Yawn and a smile, he gives A cuddle then off to work for Hours of fun and playing games. The clues to be seen the trail To be found, for I'm ***** Trained Detective"* And no case is to far, as Long as I can have a nap And a cuddle, maybe a Little sip and a gulp, here On look out of what is to Be found. Hairy dog is sleeping in his bed, I hear a noise I hear a Sound?? What a strange noise, "Snoring" "NO" "Bottom belches" "No funny smells" As I lift up his blanky Softly so not to wake doggy's sleep, And their he is safe and sound. "SANDMAN BOB" "Playing hide and go seek" Under hairy dogs nose and bottom, As he sleeps it does squeak, it Does beep, I lift it up and under His paw, to surprise him when He awakens. A tail shall wiggle And flop around, but the case was Solved and a happy smile found. ***** Trained Detective* does it Again, but for now it is nap time, A new case, a new thing to be Found. I will see you all again Soon, But now its snuggles Time with mummy in bed. As I close my eyes night, night I turn my dummy once more, As sheep float quietly over my head.
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Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 10:26 PM UTC
PTD ***** Trained Detective)
Another morning in the life Of a P.T.D, I slurped my Juice back all  400 ml, then Stretched up, fingers Wiggling as mother picked Me up. Snuggles in the morning Nothing better, to show I'm Loved. But back to business, As I turned my dummy to The opposite side, the taste Is better every time its turned Soothing with each **** It was nearly breakfast time A belly is never wrong, MMmmm... Toast and jam, I smile At mummy with my Cheshire Jam smiled face. "Silly little man" As she wipes the smudges From all over my face. A case to solve, was my plan, The missing statue of SANDMAN BOB tm. It was here before, but now Gone, the prized possession Of hairy dog, as I pat his head And he licks my face Yuckkkk.... Doggy that was yuck, he wags His tail and then he is off. What a morning so much done, Time for a nap then detective Work to be done. I wake to Dads voice, "Morning little man" "How was your nap" As i give my answer with a Yawn and a smile, he gives A cuddle then off to work for Hours of fun and playing games. The clues to be seen the trail To be found, for I'm ***** Trained Detective"* And no case is to far, as Long as I can have a nap And a cuddle, maybe a Little sip and a gulp, here On look out of what is to Be found. Hairy dog is sleeping in his bed, I hear a noise I hear a Sound?? What a strange noise, "Snoring" "NO" "Bottom belches" "No funny smells" As I lift up his blanky Softly so not to wake doggy's sleep, And their he is safe and sound. "SANDMAN BOB" "Playing hide and go seek" Under hairy dogs nose and bottom, As he sleeps it does squeak, it Does beep, I lift it up and under His paw, to surprise him when He awakens. A tail shall wiggle And flop around, but the case was Solved and a happy smile found. ***** Trained Detective* does it Again, but for now it is nap time, A new case, a new thing to be Found. I will see you all again Soon, But now its snuggles Time with mummy in bed. As I close my eyes night, night I turn my dummy once more, As sheep float quietly over my head.
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80
Being drunk is not cute Drunk texting is not cute Vomiting is not cute Waking up next to a homeless man you were cuddling behind a bush in order to keep warm is not cute Homeless men are not cute Stealing a stranger’s phone so you can sneak away to the bathroom and take a picture of your **** Is not cute Drunk *** is not cute But it is awesome Crying after drunk *** is not cute Crying during drunk *** is not cute Crying is not cute Despite whatever I have set myself to believe I am not cute when I am drunk I’m not even cute when I’m sober And when I find myself With head hanging halfway into a gutter While leaning out of the passenger seat of my car Looking at the chunks of red-orange Sour and burning I know it is just my body Trying to rebuke my ***** mouth That’s what my mouth looks like When I say the things I do And it is definitely Not cute
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Jan 28, 2012
Jan 28, 2012 at 4:01 PM UTC
Being Drunk is not Cute
Never knew love until I gave birth The love from a mother to a child, vice versa How can you deny a face so sweet? Just to think, we once shared a heartbeat How could I just give up on you? Never. You're my motivation, you're presence fuels me Colic and terrible two's...potty training and I love you's Who could deny a face so sweet? Seem like yesterday, April 13th...A face I couldn't wait to meet I never want to fail you or steer you wrong But how do I explain why your daddy's gone? Why deny a face so sweet? There's so much love I'm wanting to give Teach you the necessary lessons to live From day one I've been by your side Held your hand through low and high tide Am I capable of showing you "double love" Granted, there's no limit to my love for you But I can't love you like a father should do He deny a face so sweet... So special, one of a kind Missing out on all the great times You deserve so much more, a full time father not a boy who comes then snatches your joy Gone. A horrible cycle I put you in Mommy is sorry to call him your kin Never will I deny your face so sweet I am your protector until the end My love for you I'll always send... May not be from your dad but I'll try A face so sweet, you have my heart until I die
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May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014 at 11:52 PM UTC
Autumn
The moment when your not at home, a public restroom even isn't around, your stopping off at a job site where construction workers work during the day. And big burly men take craps in porta pottys, with no toilet paper left but only left upon a ****** topped toilet seat. With the fresh stench of **** crap, and men's beer puke and *** smell aligning the walls of the ***** I wish an inventor (poet inventor) would make poet's special pottys. I'd be his co-creator. We'd call it, Poetry pottys!
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Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 3:36 AM UTC
Poetry *****
She let the tape go— on record one evening for an ordinary hour Five years later, we play it back for laughs after dinner—then as now “Remember how the stove door screeched at the house on Olive Street?” And our voices! Phoeb’s, lighter–tired wrapping the nine’s tables in elastic yawns like flash cards in a rubber band “Phoeb, your pitch changed so— while I turned...” to run water in the tub lamenting the **** of Two in frenetic escape of hands Unruly! Running rebel taunts in Time’s strict face who would not dare disturb her dawns only mine— Roused by the first round of another day’s ring of twelve digits that insist like uniform with apron waiting on ironing board that’s never folded Now the **** of Two cries out Exultant! of success in ***** Then, Oratorio for Soap! The splashy version with endless bubblings of “Rocky Baby!” and obbligato of “Where’s Shampoo?” in jubilant glissadal plunge an octave through vocal whoops! …I had not thought she hardly talked but sang and squealed or whined in tunes Her voice lay open to her soul a roost of piercing humming birds small of words but filled with sweet and want incessant wings and things to say.... How could we have forgotten? “Are these your boots? Your clothes laid out?” From sound and talk, we still can hear frost phantoms in winter window rattles—then as now And Phoebe remarks how one voice didn’t change though— “Still talking to herself” We laugh and let the tape go....
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Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 12:31 AM UTC
This is -- a Recording
She let the tape go— on record one evening for an ordinary hour Five years later, we play it back for laughs after dinner—then as now “Remember how the stove door screeched at the house on Olive Street?” And our voices! Phoeb’s, lighter–tired wrapping the nine’s tables in elastic yawns like flash cards in a rubber band “Phoeb, your pitch changed so— while I turned...” to run water in the tub lamenting the **** of Two in frenetic escape of hands Unruly! Running rebel taunts in Time’s strict face who would not dare disturb her dawns only mine— Roused by the first round of another day’s ring of twelve digits that insist like uniform with apron waiting on ironing board that’s never folded Now the **** of Two cries out Exultant! of success in ***** Then, Oratorio for Soap! The splashy version with endless bubblings of “Rocky Baby!” and obbligato of “Where’s Shampoo?” in jubilant glissadal plunge an octave through vocal whoops! …I had not thought she hardly talked but sang and squealed or whined in tunes Her voice lay open to her soul a roost of piercing humming birds small of words but filled with sweet and want incessant wings and things to say.... How could we have forgotten? “Are these your boots? Your clothes laid out?” From sound and talk, we still can hear frost phantoms in winter window rattles—then as now And Phoebe remarks how one voice didn’t change though— “Still talking to herself” We laugh and let the tape go....
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53
Access to excess holds you tight in its vice. It starts off it always feels so right filled with promise and abundance walking into that casino loaded with cash scoring the bag at Christine's weekly motel one more dab will do you. She knocks on your door and only wants you the night is filled with promises too. Is this any different then gluttonous billionaires hoarding what they can it's never enough while the rest of us drown. The waiting, waiting, waiting for it to come through there's that too. Access to excess has this advice: "I'll deal with it later" and "One more time. " Drip, drip, drip blood triggered rush images and cravings euphoric memories kaleidoscope in one body rush after another until there is no more living in your own skin. Rubbing your self raw to get back to that moment when you first walked in when abundance was real and access to excess was all you could feel. What a moment of exhilaration. Of course there are these bonuses too ending up with total deprivation "incomprehensible demoralization" Locked in a porta-potty with a guy and a pipe out of money out of time out of consciousness Access to excess what are we gonna do now.
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Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014 at 9:39 AM UTC
Access to Excess
I cuddled upon it since birth, It was the friend that kept me Calm, Peaceful, Friend Of my sleepy times, always there, But I awoke and Blanky wasn't there "MUMMY" "DADDY" As both ran in, "What is it our little one" Tears streaming, words jumbled in emotions Mummy stroked my hair Daddy Sshhh.... Sshhh... Sshhh... Sshhh... And all was calm in the world, B, B, "Blanky" Has gone away, Mummy soft spoken voice speaks "Lets check your bed" No not there? ***** trained detective looks around"** Sniffs the air, Sorry mummy that was me, Mmm... to the playroom High,  Low Here,  there Places searched but no where found, His thoughts of blanky and sweet sleep, As he searches each room, doggy sniffs Come on Hairy, He checks his bed nothing but hair, His baby mind thinks back to the other day Blanky and me, Me and Blanky, To the garden Woof, little fingers can not reach Woofs hind legs stretch up, "Good boy Woof" As the door opens to The great outside, Near the sandpit "No" Near the grass "Neither" Then he spots it Then its seen, "Blanky I have missed you" Hanging just out of reach, "Detective work is never as easy as it seems" A baby has skills, as he takes his ***** Sticky patches take hold and on top Of a head, smelling fresh, Not that just thumb ****** sleepy smell But we can change that, Blanky wrapped around ***** dragging  behind, a  new one needed I think, "Mummy" "Daddy" "Its solved" The missing blanky case is solved It was washed, ***** it was once, But so soft and cuddly once more, It needs that just slept smell, A detective is off to get snuggles sleep Till the next case awaits, till I awaken Its sheep time for me, goodnight or day everyone sweet dreams.
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Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 2:27 PM UTC
***** Trained Detective ( The Missing Blanky)
I cuddled upon it since birth, It was the friend that kept me Calm, Peaceful, Friend Of my sleepy times, always there, But I awoke and Blanky wasn't there "MUMMY" "DADDY" As both ran in, "What is it our little one" Tears streaming, words jumbled in emotions Mummy stroked my hair Daddy Sshhh.... Sshhh... Sshhh... Sshhh... And all was calm in the world, B, B, "Blanky" Has gone away, Mummy soft spoken voice speaks "Lets check your bed" No not there? ***** trained detective looks around"** Sniffs the air, Sorry mummy that was me, Mmm... to the playroom High,  Low Here,  there Places searched but no where found, His thoughts of blanky and sweet sleep, As he searches each room, doggy sniffs Come on Hairy, He checks his bed nothing but hair, His baby mind thinks back to the other day Blanky and me, Me and Blanky, To the garden Woof, little fingers can not reach Woofs hind legs stretch up, "Good boy Woof" As the door opens to The great outside, Near the sandpit "No" Near the grass "Neither" Then he spots it Then its seen, "Blanky I have missed you" Hanging just out of reach, "Detective work is never as easy as it seems" A baby has skills, as he takes his ***** Sticky patches take hold and on top Of a head, smelling fresh, Not that just thumb ****** sleepy smell But we can change that, Blanky wrapped around ***** dragging  behind, a  new one needed I think, "Mummy" "Daddy" "Its solved" The missing blanky case is solved It was washed, ***** it was once, But so soft and cuddly once more, It needs that just slept smell, A detective is off to get snuggles sleep Till the next case awaits, till I awaken Its sheep time for me, goodnight or day everyone sweet dreams.
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Where did the circus go? Not like the Del Mar fair Or the Barnum and Bailey skinny cow version I want someplace nasty A bit sticky Someplace that picks up and leaves before you have time to go get your watch back All that’s left is a lot Full of trash and ride screws Because the rush to leave was more important than safety It’s a place most days now I wish I could run away to Slap on fake **** and be the bearded lady Or warts and green paint and be frog man Be something along the lines of Homemade make believe Be happy believing that This other place doesn’t have things Like rent And car payments And work that ***** you harder than your own girlfriend will And don’t tell me cirque de solei is hiring That’s not a circus That’s people in costumes dancing and flying around on stages They had to go to school to do that You don’t need school to join the circus You just need the desire to leave Before anyone notices you’re gone Maybe leave behind a sticky mess And take with you something valuable Like a watch Or money from the purse on the counter Or someone’s heart Maybe I could be tattoo man Or the ***** Mouthed Poet And freestyle psalms that ache behind a glass window That you have to pay a quarter to see through And another quarter to listen Or I could be a wax statue of Jesus The one that if you stare at long enough You see him breathing Enough to restore faith in the make believe That keeps us going Let me be your side show Let me be your fortune teller Let me be the dark room in that back Only the men are allowed into Women and children this way Let me be the ***** talk of town And leave before the lynching Let me leave in the night like a piper With the promise That I will give you the life you’ve always wanted If you leave behind all you’ve ever been Remember him? He joined the circus? Where’d the circus go?
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Jun 14, 2012
Jun 14, 2012 at 5:54 PM UTC
Why Don't we Have The Circus Anymore?
Where did the circus go? Not like the Del Mar fair Or the Barnum and Bailey skinny cow version I want someplace nasty A bit sticky Someplace that picks up and leaves before you have time to go get your watch back All that’s left is a lot Full of trash and ride screws Because the rush to leave was more important than safety It’s a place most days now I wish I could run away to Slap on fake **** and be the bearded lady Or warts and green paint and be frog man Be something along the lines of Homemade make believe Be happy believing that This other place doesn’t have things Like rent And car payments And work that ***** you harder than your own girlfriend will And don’t tell me cirque de solei is hiring That’s not a circus That’s people in costumes dancing and flying around on stages They had to go to school to do that You don’t need school to join the circus You just need the desire to leave Before anyone notices you’re gone Maybe leave behind a sticky mess And take with you something valuable Like a watch Or money from the purse on the counter Or someone’s heart Maybe I could be tattoo man Or the ***** Mouthed Poet And freestyle psalms that ache behind a glass window That you have to pay a quarter to see through And another quarter to listen Or I could be a wax statue of Jesus The one that if you stare at long enough You see him breathing Enough to restore faith in the make believe That keeps us going Let me be your side show Let me be your fortune teller Let me be the dark room in that back Only the men are allowed into Women and children this way Let me be the ***** talk of town And leave before the lynching Let me leave in the night like a piper With the promise That I will give you the life you’ve always wanted If you leave behind all you’ve ever been Remember him? He joined the circus? Where’d the circus go?
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Nineteen million NASA's price   To build its crew a safe device So astronauts could have a place   To handle *** and ***** waste   And men of space would have a loo   To do what other men must do These millions bucks NASA would pay   So no spaceman would float away These men were safe from their own farts   With leg restraints and other parts And all was safely put in place   A porta-potty out in space But something's wrong I heard today   An amber rain on its way No place to hide no place to run   A loo in space has come undone From far in space a cry unheard   A spaceman hit by a flying ****
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Sep 25, 2010
Sep 25, 2010 at 10:41 PM UTC
What happens in space should stay in space
remember when you were just a kid and ***** training is what you did the things that you are to do taught to do so that you can use the loo then when your grown and train no more you miss the loo and hit the floor.
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Sep 6, 2010
Sep 6, 2010 at 7:38 AM UTC
***** training
This morning I had to go ***** so bad I squeezed and I pushed with all that I had And after what seemed like a great battle I heard a ker-plunk from what I did straddle The mighty splash that this thing made To have a look, my curiosity bade So up I did rise slowly and sure So as not to drop any poo onto the floor I looked into the bowl not believing my eyes This terd was of a most bodacious size The cause of the strain was now easy to see I new then not what I had set free It leaned upright on the side of the bowl Like it was in a jacuzi relaxed and whole As I looked at it again in utter disbelief I knew I had to flush away my relief But when I pushed the handle on the toilet I found All the **** did is spin round and round Like a wooden stick in water being stirred I was amazed at the stiffness of this **** When the flush was done I looked with disdain The **** was still there and left not even a stain I flushed again with greater resolve And the **** broke in half as it did revolve But then as it started to finally go down Something then happened that made me frown It got stuck and clogged up the hole I watched in horror as water filled the bowl It plugged the toiled up tight like a cork And now I wished I'd chopped it up with a fork I grabbed the plunger from off of the floor And plunged real hard, for my toiled to restore But though I plunged with all of my might It seemed that the **** was winning this fight After several minutes the water went down But only at a trickle as again I did frown So along I did move from plan A to plan B I'd show this **** who's the boss, not it, but me So with hot water, a bucket I did fill And dumped it in so it could swallow that pill After twenty buckets, the **** did give way And I was able to flush. Hip-Hip-Hooray!
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Dec 10, 2012
Dec 10, 2012 at 3:32 AM UTC
The **** That Wouldn't Flush
This morning I had to go ***** so bad I squeezed and I pushed with all that I had And after what seemed like a great battle I heard a ker-plunk from what I did straddle The mighty splash that this thing made To have a look, my curiosity bade So up I did rise slowly and sure So as not to drop any poo onto the floor I looked into the bowl not believing my eyes This terd was of a most bodacious size The cause of the strain was now easy to see I new then not what I had set free It leaned upright on the side of the bowl Like it was in a jacuzi relaxed and whole As I looked at it again in utter disbelief I knew I had to flush away my relief But when I pushed the handle on the toilet I found All the **** did is spin round and round Like a wooden stick in water being stirred I was amazed at the stiffness of this **** When the flush was done I looked with disdain The **** was still there and left not even a stain I flushed again with greater resolve And the **** broke in half as it did revolve But then as it started to finally go down Something then happened that made me frown It got stuck and clogged up the hole I watched in horror as water filled the bowl It plugged the toiled up tight like a cork And now I wished I'd chopped it up with a fork I grabbed the plunger from off of the floor And plunged real hard, for my toiled to restore But though I plunged with all of my might It seemed that the **** was winning this fight After several minutes the water went down But only at a trickle as again I did frown So along I did move from plan A to plan B I'd show this **** who's the boss, not it, but me So with hot water, a bucket I did fill And dumped it in so it could swallow that pill After twenty buckets, the **** did give way And I was able to flush. Hip-Hip-Hooray!
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Have you heard about old Erik Satie? He was quite slim and not un fatti; Son père was a Frog, his Ma a wee **** (which must have given quite a shock to his musical chums at the Conservatoire where he wrote "Trois morceaux en forme de poire"). While sitting 'au piano' one fine day At his Honfleur home so bright and gay, Our Erik felt himself come over queer, (le résultat triste de beaucoup de bière). He hadn't felt so odd since he didn't know when (that's when he wrote his "Gnossiennes"). Now I don't want you to think Erik was bent That certainly wasn't what I meant; But there's no doubt he was a little odd (indeed many called him an asexual sod); For, although French, he loved not the ladies (and he also wrote three nice "Gymnopédies"). Many piano pieces which Satie penned Are rather silly and round the bend; One was called "Prélude for a Dog" (which he wrote whilst sur le bogue); Perhaps his best known work is called "Parade" Which some people think is quite avant-garde. He was a bit ***** and collected umbrellas Which set him apart from saner fellers; He had lots of velvet suits to his name (and for some reason, they all looked the same). But he over-did it on the ***** was often ****** Thus he died prematurely, and is sorely missed.
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Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 8:46 AM UTC
A Poem About Erik Satie, the Eccentric Half-A-Scot
I'll tell you about something that is rotten to the core. When outside of church, some preachers cuss like sailors. My friend saw some of these preachers who like to cuss. They should be ashamed, preachers are supposed to set an example for the rest of us. When they cuss, they anger God because it's like slapping him in the face. Morality is not their strong point, what they're doing is truly a disgrace. Out of all of the people in the world, preachers are the ones who should never swear. Those preachers are not God fearing people and it is just too much for me to bear. This makes me angry and Jehovah God and I are both filled with disgust. It proves that the world is lost when we see preachers who we can't trust.
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Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 3:57 PM UTC
***** Mouth Preachers
I stroll into the bathroom newspaper tucked under my arm. The silent morning ambience holds for me a special charm. Whistling,I lift the toilet seat to take my morning leak. I'm stopped up short when I hear someone speak. "Morning bro,what's up?", came the voice from below. I stared in utter disbelief at the toilet saying hello. "Don't freak out",it said. "Just do your thing,I'll do mine. We can be the best of mates till the end of ***** time." "Oh well",I thought and started where I left off. Aiming into a talking *** Isn't easy..Hey!Don't you scoff! "Wow!You've got a lot stored up" quipped the rude toilet. "No wonder they're saying there's a drought in the nearby hamlet" On-off,on-off came the flow as the seat moved up and down. Only later did I come to know I own the most loquacious loo in town. Irritated I told it to shut up. "Bro,what will you p### into?", it laughed,splashing water around. No arguing that,it speaks true.. "Hey did you hear? Old Loo-pin next drain got married to Pottyara. I hate her,she's too vain!" "Work on your technique mate, I've seen toddlers do better... My,my!Seriously?!Still got more?! I'm getting wetter and wetter!" "Will you hold still!"I shouted. "Hey don't take that tone with me. Being watered in the maw ain't fun. Swap places and then we'll see!" "It'd be a lot more easier",I reasoned "if you would stop yapping. Who cares about super toilets?! Now just start lapping!" "Okay sheesh,someone's grumpy. What?!show some pity on the loo! Hey!Wait!Stop right there!! Sh##,now I've to take poo too?!" "Okay get this over with quickly. You're choking me!!Aaaahhh!!! Okay,never ever again take chilly sauce with pizza!" As I flush and leave,it cries "Oh the horror!the horror!!! All the perfumes of Arabia cannot wash away this odour!"
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Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 11:09 AM UTC
Loquacious Loo!
I stroll into the bathroom newspaper tucked under my arm. The silent morning ambience holds for me a special charm. Whistling,I lift the toilet seat to take my morning leak. I'm stopped up short when I hear someone speak. "Morning bro,what's up?", came the voice from below. I stared in utter disbelief at the toilet saying hello. "Don't freak out",it said. "Just do your thing,I'll do mine. We can be the best of mates till the end of ***** time." "Oh well",I thought and started where I left off. Aiming into a talking *** Isn't easy..Hey!Don't you scoff! "Wow!You've got a lot stored up" quipped the rude toilet. "No wonder they're saying there's a drought in the nearby hamlet" On-off,on-off came the flow as the seat moved up and down. Only later did I come to know I own the most loquacious loo in town. Irritated I told it to shut up. "Bro,what will you p### into?", it laughed,splashing water around. No arguing that,it speaks true.. "Hey did you hear? Old Loo-pin next drain got married to Pottyara. I hate her,she's too vain!" "Work on your technique mate, I've seen toddlers do better... My,my!Seriously?!Still got more?! I'm getting wetter and wetter!" "Will you hold still!"I shouted. "Hey don't take that tone with me. Being watered in the maw ain't fun. Swap places and then we'll see!" "It'd be a lot more easier",I reasoned "if you would stop yapping. Who cares about super toilets?! Now just start lapping!" "Okay sheesh,someone's grumpy. What?!show some pity on the loo! Hey!Wait!Stop right there!! Sh##,now I've to take poo too?!" "Okay get this over with quickly. You're choking me!!Aaaahhh!!! Okay,never ever again take chilly sauce with pizza!" As I flush and leave,it cries "Oh the horror!the horror!!! All the perfumes of Arabia cannot wash away this odour!"
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60
Oh the silver ships on plastic oceans , Marshmello clouds above garbage tips . and the smell of acrid sewage pouring into rivers deep in slime and filth . A  can of tin lies abandoned in the road , Cars with petrol heads , Children lying in their mothers beds , Wheeze as plumes of smog rise above their heads . Mattresses dumped on public land , a mother to tired to think , Worn out by screaming child who just needs a ***** or a drink ? And on we go round and round on a merry go round , While the earth looks weary on. And aliens surround us with their knives and mobile phones , to scared to walk , talk , just run . The hospitals await them still full to the brim with gun law and hate . And on we go , to Whales washed up on beaches   Polar bears drift on sheets of ice, burning oil fills the sea , man lights a cigarette in silence , and yes it still bothers me . Even so , the  earth looks  on in silence . Turtles and fish eat and die from plastic that swells the Ocean deep . ,Now silence and weeping as floods and bugs enter our summer and winter . No frost to chill the dawn , summer with its beaches full of idol sun lovers who left bags and cans now where have they gone ? Not to the sea , for it is empty , not to buy for the shops have all closed . To their beds they lay dying , as the earth looks ever on . Then with candy floss dreams , and fair ground rides stop and sick and ***** we fall , One baby , One gift was born to save us all .
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Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 10:19 AM UTC
Mother Earth .
You told me you loved me amongst the crowd of a Steelers game while we were searching for a hot dog and soda. Not the most enchanting, but perhaps I watch too many rom-coms for my own good. I think I've always just romanticized each aspect of a relationship and all the major moments based on what media told me meant the most. Opening my eyes now, those special moments aren't always at a candlelit dinner or by a fireplace, many times they are at a cookout with your friends or the zoo with my nieces and nephews. The beauty of feeling something so deeply that you just have to say it, even if it's in front of a porta ***** at a church festival or the stoplight on your way home, that's the real love that people feel. So when I tell you I love you while sitting on my couch on a random Monday night, know that I mean it. Know that every muscle in my body wanted to tell you because I didn't wait for candlelight or an array of stars, instead I told you in the most real way, our way. We will still have those romantic moments on a boat under the moonlight or the fireplace of an old house, but we will also have those passionate moments where we couldn't keep our feelings in anymore and the most appropriate place just happens to be a crowded train on the way downtown and an airport bar. I love you and I'll say it anywhere. -t.s.
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Feb 22, 2024
Feb 22, 2024 at 9:55 PM UTC
I'll Say It Anywhere
There's many pairs I've fathomed A poets stock and trade A thousand couples counted And a hundred poems made But I'm awash with bafflement A word eludes my wits My sleep is interrupted And it's getting on **** Nothing rhymes with 'women' I've run fresh out of words I'm sick and tired of 'wenches' And bored to death with 'birds' It's hard to write a love song To 'crumpet' or to 'totty' Yes, nothing rhymes with women Those women drive me ***** There's loads of rhymes for 'menfolk' And equally for 'men' ’Aggressive' goes with 'Passive' And 'Possessive' now and then My brain is drained and knackered And almost rhymes with 'lead' I'd like to rhyme with someone else And leave them in my stead For nothing rhymes with women And I loath abbreviation There'll surely be no rimmin' Or unsightly punctuation The odds are stacked against me So, exhausted, I persist To find a rhyme for women A word to coexist
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Jan 22, 2014
Jan 22, 2014 at 8:57 PM UTC
A Rhyme Issue
Our lot was not to stay all night; In kneeling praise by bathroom stalls. Alcohol numbed your honesty's bite, wrote her destiny on the divider walls. And we weren't the kind to cheat, don't believe, All the loose lips half-cross town, Last call patrons who watch me leave, And shut this ****** down... Like Zane and Beckett, so convinced, Their **** would last forever, Bad enough to make you wince, If they spend one more second together. Or Jane and Kinney, young, driven, and full, Of lust or something similar. Don't be surprised, you've seen this fire, The end? ...all too familiar. And pretty Syd had all the gall, and Pony Boy thought he knew the score... but he's just a **** like so much Pyrex, Stuffed inside his paper ***** But Ashtray Woman with ***** Mouth, And monster's blood on toilet tissue, Is just another frightened girl, With real and dangerous daddy issues. Now, here, at the close (I'm still glad to say), You deserve almost everything, that you've won, Our karma arose ( and, in time, took the day ). Now I ponder regrets in the hours before dawn, It wasn't the when, or with whom we may lay, or the time in the morning before I should be gone, It's more about how we desired to stay... When we gazed into stars lying flat on your lawn. I once craved your poison but, now, in my way, I'm actually glad to see you gone.
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Mar 24, 2017
Mar 24, 2017 at 11:26 PM UTC
L'Enfant Terrible
Acceptance is overrated when being a Mommy is even better then popularizes falsehood&superficial; non-importance personal gain! or a daddy either way whats gain if you gain nothing  in life and if being a parent aint for you well good for you this is to those who get down and ***** and do the right thing everyday for OUR BABIES from not yet born to 100 yrs old & GONE! Acceptance is overrated when being a Mommy is even better then popularizes falsehood&superficial; non-importance personal gain! or a daddy either way I gain  kisses and paid in hugs, I gain wisdom from tiny fingers smudged in finger paints, I have knowledge beyond my or their years from tears cuz of boboo's + shrieking laughter &  bedtime stories, smile of chocolate face kisses & warm S'more sticky fingers covered in blankets of hair, sleeping on my pillows in an over crowded bed of baby limbs, hands & feet from the tallest & oldest to the youngest  or shortest . From the I went ***** by my self to day... to the I fell off my bike , to the I can do all by my self mommy to the I'm going out with friends mommy, from the can I have 50 cent to the 18 yrs old can I borrow ya car & get 50 dollar's watch each close their pretty brown eyes as my pillow and room becomes theirs  as  we fall asleep to nick at night (little bear or Hey it's Franklin  ) and I'm kicked to the floor in my sleep ! {EVEN THREW THE STRIFE AND STRUGGLES OF MOTHER HOOD I'DNEVER REGRET MY CHOICE TO GIVE BIRTH TO EACH & EVERYONE OF MY BABIES~~ YOUR WHATS IMPORTANT TO ME & MY WORLD/LIFE & I TY FOR MAKING IT SO MUCH BETTER!} THIS  MOMMA MAKES BEAUTIFUL BABIES! ALWAYS ME LOVE YA MOMMA AYESHAH K.K.C.N. LOPEZ!
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Dec 2, 2010
Dec 2, 2010 at 11:19 PM UTC
YOUR WHATS IMPORTANT TO ME
Acceptance is overrated when being a Mommy is even better then popularizes falsehood&superficial; non-importance personal gain! or a daddy either way whats gain if you gain nothing  in life and if being a parent aint for you well good for you this is to those who get down and ***** and do the right thing everyday for OUR BABIES from not yet born to 100 yrs old & GONE! Acceptance is overrated when being a Mommy is even better then popularizes falsehood&superficial; non-importance personal gain! or a daddy either way I gain  kisses and paid in hugs, I gain wisdom from tiny fingers smudged in finger paints, I have knowledge beyond my or their years from tears cuz of boboo's + shrieking laughter &  bedtime stories, smile of chocolate face kisses & warm S'more sticky fingers covered in blankets of hair, sleeping on my pillows in an over crowded bed of baby limbs, hands & feet from the tallest & oldest to the youngest  or shortest . From the I went ***** by my self to day... to the I fell off my bike , to the I can do all by my self mommy to the I'm going out with friends mommy, from the can I have 50 cent to the 18 yrs old can I borrow ya car & get 50 dollar's watch each close their pretty brown eyes as my pillow and room becomes theirs  as  we fall asleep to nick at night (little bear or Hey it's Franklin  ) and I'm kicked to the floor in my sleep ! {EVEN THREW THE STRIFE AND STRUGGLES OF MOTHER HOOD I'DNEVER REGRET MY CHOICE TO GIVE BIRTH TO EACH & EVERYONE OF MY BABIES~~ YOUR WHATS IMPORTANT TO ME & MY WORLD/LIFE & I TY FOR MAKING IT SO MUCH BETTER!} THIS  MOMMA MAKES BEAUTIFUL BABIES! ALWAYS ME LOVE YA MOMMA AYESHAH K.K.C.N. LOPEZ!
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