"floaties" poems
Thinking about pizza as I'm here
it's warm with the ovens going
the order has been placed
i sit and wait
and wait
and wait
no time erased, only 1 minute elapsed
I feel like I'm swimming laps
in a tomato sauce pool
with black olives for floaties
the sauce is well past my knees
so hungry
and desperate
just to get a slice
of this great American pizza pie
it makes my heart swell
my eyes not dry
i'm gonna get eat pizza until i die
and if there comes a day
when they say no more pizza no way
your stomach can't handle it
your intestines will flare
i'll say i don't care
pull the trigger in my underwear
crime scene investigates
saw it on the news
a man covered in pizza
and bottles of *****
they couldn't get in the door was unlocked
a wall full of pizza boxes had the entry fully blocked
but deeper inside was a man no one knew
cheese oozing under the doorway cracks like glue
i'm still here waiting for pizza
no more imaginary trap
i look at my watch
the tenth minute elapsed
the lifeguard gets out
he's done with his swim
his whistle blows
everybody back in
the pizza is ready
time to dive in
Mar 14, 2013
Mar 14, 2013 at 3:38 PM UTC
Waves taller than I was
cool atlantic ocean
grainy sand between my fingers
burying my toes.
Hot sunburns and salty hair
the beach bars where we used to eat off the kids meal
going back to your condo
sitting on your couch.
Thrown over his shoulders
covered in sand, the warm weight used to be fun but now it just scares me
you scare me.
My shoulders were kissed
sunscreen on my back
the lukewarm pools and marco polo races holding my breath until i thought my lungs would explode.
The water would rush back with the pull of the ocean our sundresses damp around our ankles, bruises over our mouths where you held them shut
The porch light was on to the condo my towel draped over your balcony, bathing suit bottoms in your bedroom.
Forgotten toys and to pairs of arm floaties because i was never good at swimming, you left your watch on the shoreline.
Crying because of the pain and the hatred and love
Never knowing if I would be cuddled or touched
but knowing i would be cuddled after being touched
those sunburnt spots caressed by you.
White caps peak as the sun rises, we’re cold with fevers and abuse, shaking as our feet are wet again with salty water and your watch pulled out to the sea, lost forever.
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 6:07 PM UTC
Don't be scared to sneeze in MATH105
Blow these numbers off the page, so I can finally have an excuse to
Blow off some time with you
I want to memorize what that sneeze sounds like, unique to the individual
Each sound varies upon sneezers voice,
allergies, voice box, larynx, even personality
If that's all true, I bet even you, sneeze as **** as a mother ******
The only thing that I want more wet and slimey than the inside of your elbow,
Is the way we make love
"Oh baby, that's it!
Sneeze for me! Sneeze harder!
Sneezed like you've never sneezed
for a man before and then sneeze
harder!"
Don't EVER hold a sneeze back!
You're not only killing brain cells
But killing me as well!
I want to see what kind of tornados
you can throw when a dust storm
gets at you
What demons are you hiding,
not letting Christ expel
Don't be ashamed!
Are you scared that just you're sneeze
Will create tsunami waves of attention
If so! I'm buying a front row ticket wearing
nothing but arm floaties and a rain coat
If you get sick, kiss me with your breathe
And well get over this cold- feet together
I want to know your sneeze so when we
Are cooking dinner, you can be half way through inhale
And I'll have a tissue and the words
"Bless you"
Already trotting outta my mouth
I want to be the blessed one
To be within hearing distance
Be able to bless you back
See you come outta your shell for .237 seconds
There to catch the science of your anatomy jumping off the cliff of your nose
I want to be in the bookstore,
Reading super hero graphic novels
And hear you in your boredom two floors up at Starbucks, sneeze,
And be able to say
"YES! THATS MY MAN!!"
You hear that one Peter Parker?
Try to dodge your spidey-sense around that one!
That's a sneeze that'd make the phone booth go inside Clark Kent!
We'll have two kids, named
Gesundheit and Salud
The cat's name will be Ah-Choo
Unless you're allergic to cats
Then scratch the kids, we'll have
A cat zoo! So I can hear the symphony
Of your nostrils on the daily
If you think this poem is gross
Wait tell you see the way I sneeze
When I'm thinking of you
Mar 19, 2014
Mar 19, 2014 at 5:02 PM UTC
daffodils sprinkle their magic
fairy dust along tufts of whispering bluegrass.
her laugh skips across the rocky driveway,
as she watches her best friend balance on a skateboard.
panting spotted dogs lap cool water from their
brightly colored bowls as they lounge on the wrap-around porch.
next-door-neighbors splash into their pools, the scent of
grilled hotdogs and charred hamburgers wafting across the
aquamarine sky. children with floaties splash at their
parents, tiny mouths bursting into sun-soaked smiles.
sunscreen-toting mothers drag beach towels embroidered with
superheroes and princesses to dry off their young ones.
warm-bodied babies cry on bouncing knees as storm clouds
gather across the stainless steel skies. little girls squeal and
parents scoop their plates filled with food into the house, as
lightning sings in the afternoon.
Sep 27, 2010
Sep 27, 2010 at 6:47 PM UTC
Tilt and tumble down the slide.
Why not go two at a time?
Link your tubes! Enjoy the ride!
Run and jump into the pool.
Dive head first! You're so cool.
Safety is a stupid rule,
So why must you abide?
Say you don't know how to swim?
That's all right, jump on in!
That's the best way to begin.
Floaties are the best solution--
Swimming's equal substitution.
But hey, you drowning helps our evolution!
Too bad I'm your guardian.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 9:37 PM UTC
When I first met him, I warned him,
"I'm kind of a depressed mess. So if I don't accept your love right away, I'm sorry because right now I'm trying to figure out how to love myself before I can figure out how to love anyone else."
He looked at me, big brown eyes and all, and said, "Maybe I can help you."
In that moment, something inside of me changed
Ever since that day we started talking and talking and talking
The days I knew him turned in to weeks and the weeks then turned into months and soon years
But somewhere along this mess of love and trust,
It turned into tragedy and betrayal.
Basically what I'm saying is this ******* cheated on me. It's funny because all this time
I thought he was going to be the one to throw floaties at me while I was slowly sinking into this sea of sadness, It turns out he was the one tying anchors to my wrists causing me to sink more while slowly whispering to me empty promises.
Instead of preventing my scars he was the one causing them.
Instead of keeping me warm he's the one taking away my blanket
It ***** because all of the soft touches we shared and all of the secretive whispers we would tell each other within the late hours, he would share with someone else.
He would softly touch someone else
Love someone else.
All this time I saw him as sweet and caring
I found out it was just a facade he would put up around me.
On the outside he was beautiful on the inside he was rotting.
He was fake. It was all fake.
Now here I am crying with my head between my knees because I wanted so badly for him to be the one.
I want so badly for him to be the one, but he's not.
He never will be.
Maybe I'm the reason he decided to share our love with another or maybe I never had his love in the first place
-b.c.
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 8:38 PM UTC
Your apology meant nothing to me.
Your apology was not meant for me,
Your apology was meant for you.
Your apology was pathetic.
You only did it to save your mind from eating itself in the middle of the night.
Constantly chomping at the thought of our last conversation.
The one where you called me selfish because my feelings were hurt.
The one where you said we would never work because our trauma doesn't match.
The one where you said I couldn't possibly fathom being in the same house as my ******
The one where you told me our relationship was a pool and you couldn't understand how I was able to dive in.
The one where you told me you never wanted a relationship.
The one where you threw me away like a rotten banana peel.
Like a banana,
I opened myself up to you.
Peeling my layers one by one.
I started to get bruises from all the nasty words you said to me,
you said to my friends, and
you said to my family.
But I was still good.
I was still a sweet, ripe banana.
You always knew how to make me feel ashamed for being a bruised banana.
You were right,
we will never work.
Your reasons were wrong.
We will never work because I was never what you wanted.
We will never work because you could not open yourself up to me.
There were things you kept from me that I never would have kept from you.
Our trauma doesn't match because I'm working through mine and you're still on the first step,
afraid of what the next step has in store for you.
I have learned how to handle my trauma while you still let it eat away at you.
You let your trauma control your life.
I won't let my trauma control mine anymore.
Our relationship was like a pool,
I was ready to dive head first into the deep end
while you stare at me from the steps,
unaware of how to swim.
Our trauma was like a pool.
I jumped head first into the deep end,
tackling my trauma head on.
Ready to face my fears,
confront my ******
my abuser, and
my family.
You stood on the steps,
getting your toes wet.
With multiple swim floaties
and a group of people encouraging you to jump in.
You were afraid of what you'll find at the bottom.
Even with floaties and people cheering you on,
nothing will ever be enough.
We will never work because I cannot be the counselor you seek.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 17, 2018 at 1:25 PM UTC
I have a confession to make if you please
About some of the poems that I happen to read
I've never been much at swiming the literary sea
And the water for me can be a bit deep
All I am is a simple guy
That's learned over the years to simply rhyme
That's what I do time after time
That's how it is line after line
I might come up with some crazy ideas
But after all has been done and all has been said
What you have sitting here is all that is left
Just rhyming thoughts that pop in and out of my haed
There it is, my confession that I make to you
As I dip my toes into this poetic pool
Wearing my rythmic floaties just in case I do
Fall flat on my face like a poetic fool
Oct 8, 2013
Oct 8, 2013 at 5:36 PM UTC
The waves are much calmer now. I can walk in the sand without stepping on ***** Remember Daddy, when I stepped on the crab? The water is calm but people are drowning. I got rid of the floaties to try on my own. Daddy, are you going to save me? The deeper I go, the darker it gets. It's hard to see what's around me. How can something so beautiful be internally grim? I'm afraid of what lurks in this cold darkness. The waves are much calmer now. Still to this day I can walk in the sand without stepping on ***** Daddy, you remember, don't you? The water is calm but, Daddy, I'm drowning. I got rid of everyone so I could try on my own. Will you save me? The deeper they go, the darker it gets. I can't understand anything around me. How can my mind be filled with so much tragedy? I'm afraid of what I can do. Daddy, the waves are much calmer now. They are much calmer than they were before. Daddy, I will never, ever step on a crab again.
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013 at 1:04 PM UTC
i think my pillows
sigh with relief
when i finally get off them
for the day
i think my pillows
(neck-deep in tears)
ask my blankets
for inflatable floaties
i wonder if while i’m gone
my pillows talk
to my books and posters
about how tired and frail
my body has become
because on the day you left
i think my broken heart
took the key to my happiness
and threw it in the open ocean
for only the fish to find
i sure as hell
can’t find it these days
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 9:55 PM UTC
I was sitting on the side walk when all of a sudden, inspiration hit me like a ton of bricks.
now the pen in my right hand has the power to bring life to the words unspoken by Mother Earths two lips.
And her words send my mind through a voyage in the sea but it seems that I forgot my floaties. But that's okay, because this sea is made up of 10% hope and 40% mercy. The other 50% is not meant for mortal eyes to see. Because even if you saw you wouldn't believe. That what you put in is what you receive.
My intentions aren't meant to deceive, no. They are to set your mind at ease. So Please! DON"T TEASE YOUR GIFT! LET IT RISE AND SPREAD ITS WINGS! LET IT SURFACE TASTE AIR AND BREATHE!
Because I'm breathing in toxic fumes. I'm taking in your aroma like a cosmic perfume. Don't be quick to judge, because I'm never what they assume. I drown out my insecurities not giving them any room to surface. I am overly aware, I see things that you don't notice, and know this. I hear words spoke through mute lips. They fill my ears like q-tips and the say things like "NO, please! Don't do this!" "There's gotta be another way!" "Ever since you started messing with that **** you ain't ever been the same!"
They look at me like I'm insane. When in reality I'm more in-tuned with my brain because I know my life is short so I will never take it in vain. And through my veins flows blood in the form of memories. Like crimson tides in a blood red sea. But as I said before, I forgot my floaties..
Sink or Swim?
Dec 8, 2010
Dec 8, 2010 at 9:46 PM UTC
I am not like the ocean in that I've got waves flowing down my back or the warmth of the sand in my hands or the voice of a hundred seagulls harmonizing in sync when they land.
I am not like the ocean in that I can wrap myself around you, engulf you, show you a world you've never dreamed of, full of life and mystery and depth.
I am the lost limbs and home-wrecking tsunamis.
I am the high tide that tickles toddler's toes and pulls them in with each giggle when their moms glance away for a tiny second.
I am unknown and anonymous and dangerous to explore,
not miraculous.
I sting, strangle, bite, drown, and rip with no remorse.
I am like the darkest parts of the ocean, full of creatures with teeth you've never seen and an intense lust, hunger, and greed.
Full of lost skeletons and deflated floaties and engines from submarines.
I am like the ocean in that once you're in too deep,
once you're too far out at sea,
if you don't have the breath or the energy
to somehow find your way back to the beach,
I am ruthless and I will pull you under and then it will be too late,
you know?
And you'll be just another abandoned snorkel on the jagged rocks below.
And as much as I want to be the exhilarating parts of the sea for you,
all I can offer is the salt in me.
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015 at 10:46 AM UTC
Squawks of terror from
mother and child,
a scene never making Hitchcock's
final cut. Competing gulls flap,
swoop,
kamikazi dive bomb
for fallen fried clams. Boardwalkers smeared
in cocktail sauce and blue cotton candy
sweet and sticky. Shrills sounding,
"kitta-wa-aaakee, kitta-wa-aaakee"
as wings slap in spun sugary goo.
She is tarred and feathered.
Gull down! Gull down!
Weekend warriors in Atlantic City
never saw it coming.
The sea wind whips westward
and ocean regurgitates all matter
of gunk. Tampons, syringes, punctured
floaties in shapes of ducks and dragons,
it is ever there
in the gleaming reflection of casinos,
for homeless veterans
to scavenge upon.
Even wounded gulls eat better.
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 7:49 AM UTC
You see so many different people
At the swimming pool.
People with a diving mask,
Checking out girl's ***
Children splashing water
On each other's floaties.
Mothers and fathers,
Making sure their kids are safe.
Two people swimming after each other,
Flirting with no words.
Old people swimming
From one shore to the other.
People waiting in line,
To go off the water slide.
A couple constantly making out
In front of everybody.
You see very hot people,
And very ugly ones.
Small, big,
Old or young.
All those people
Have one thing in common.
They're happy.
Jun 1, 2019
Jun 1, 2019 at 5:13 AM UTC
there was a time when tripping on asphalt
rewarded you a kiss to the broken skin,
a bandaid & a warm hug. the air
often smelled like rain & cut grass
after lunch in the cafeteria
and i always wore
a helmet and knee pads when
i went biking with dad. i felt funny
up until the moment i’d
squeezed my brake too hard
and fallen off my bike.
a thrilling game tag in the front yard under
orange skies of august was
soon quenched by a cold sip of caprisun.
dad sat on a lawn chair
grilling only what could be hot dogs,
meat patties, and bell peppers that i told him i
never really liked eating.
indigo blue only meant one thing:
a long day in the pool
clad in our arm floaties and
goggles and diving into the blue
like we would be doing this
forever & ever.
there was a time when i’d sit
on the pavement
wearing my ballerina sneakers,
watching how kids looked like ants
as they climbed onto the playground,
throwing woodchips at one another.
eating a bucketload of candy
was easier than eating dinner.
when the shadows grew at night
i’d leave the light on for too long
but watching superheroes
over a tub of ice cream was just the cure.
we’d build pillow forts &
take naps in them.
there was a time when the colors
were clear & bright, when movies
made everything feel like magic
and mom’s face was wrinkleless
and dad could stand in the garden for hours
and my brother was busy studying
and i only knew
summer & pillow forts
Apr 1, 2025
Apr 1, 2025 at 7:32 PM UTC
I’d like more
than one death knell,
I’d like a
personal
bottle of lightning,
that I’ve caught for
my very own.
I’d give up that
little **** of a
rat-terrier if
it could,
somehow,
transmogrify
into a wolf
or
a panther.
I’d like
a jet-black
Camero,
with tires
made of fire
and seats made
of smoke.
I think that
a little toxic-waste
is good for you.
(keeps ya sharp, yeah?)
I think
that a man,
a woman,
hell,
any human
worth a ****
ought to be able
to ride into battle
on a goat, a *******
or a *************
llama
and
know in their
hearts that they are the master
of their own destiny.
It’s a rough sea,
it always will be.
That’s life.
Be sad,
mad,
a little depressed,
but,
stay here,
because there’s
kielbasa sandwiches
with mustard and
onions.
There are people
that love you,
there are books,
songs,
flicker shows
to see.
The sharks bite,
the octopi might
squeeze,
the rays might sting.
None of it means
anything,
if you don’t…
Take off the floaties
and swim.
***
-JBClaywell
© P&Z Publications 2019
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 11:53 AM UTC
I just got home in the past half hour
From a great weekend at the lake,
I can’t remember how I got home,
I think I’m about to flake.
The driveway’s empty, I lost the car,
The house, as quiet as a tomb,
And where the wife and the kiddies are?
Must be in another room.
The air round here had been highly charged
For weeks, till we got away,
So I suggested a trip from home
If only just for a day.
I thought we could sort our problems out
Just for our marriage’s sake,
I thought that we might find love again
Together, up at the lake.
The kids took buckets and floaties too,
They said that it would be fun,
And Jen took some of her own home brew,
She’s legless, after just one.
We packed them all in the four wheel drive
And headed up for the shack,
It’s on a reach that they call the beach,
It took an hour to unpack.
But Jen got drunk, as she always does
And spoiled the night of the first,
Her mood was black, while on the attack,
I said our marriage was cursed.
I saw no love in her eyes that night,
And even her smile was forced,
So stone cold sober the second day
She said, ‘I want a divorce.’
I thought that she might get over it,
I said, ‘We’re here to have fun.
Let’s call a truce for the kids at least,
Be happy, for everyone.’
She said she would, but she wouldn’t talk,
Just glowered, down at the beach,
While I and the kids would take a walk,
Have fun in the sun, at least.
Now in the drive, I can see a car,
A man has come to the door,
He says, ‘We pulled out your four wheel drive,
What did you do it for?’
I look bemused as he says to me,
‘Your children, for heaven’s sake!’
My heart stops for an infinity,
‘You drowned them all in the lake.’
David Lewis Paget
Aug 19, 2017
Aug 19, 2017 at 11:44 AM UTC
I lost morning runs around the living room
The TV blasting what I used to watch
I lost riding to school with my grandpa
Swimming with floaties, unable to touch
I lost my earliest years in Brussels
How autumn leaves wrapped me up
I lost the making of toy shops on the floor
And the way I cried when I had to clean them up
I lost stacking paints in a closet
The racket we’d make outside of class
I lost the newspaper I made at eight
It’s lost, just like the years that have passed
I lost hundreds of skipped lunches
I’ll be ****** but I miss them
I lost realising people weren’t my thing
And that I’m better off without them
I lost just now what helped me out
It dug me out of my grave
But you swooped in and pulled it away
After all I had and all I gave
So please don’t take this, it’s all I have left
Anything, anything but this
It’s the only thing I can cling onto anymore
Anything but this
Aug 18, 2025
Aug 18, 2025 at 6:57 AM UTC