I was with the ocean last night and your body
Was its vessel, overflowing.  Words were frail,
Drops indwelling about the shapeless sky,
Water reaching for its own height and breath,
Like touch, were as desperate letters exchanged,
Endlessly read, until like loamy vellums, they
Disappeared in our hands.  Inklings of tide-
Pool and driftwood.

                               My blood was a river that ran
Its course.  Members feeding your deltas and birds
Breeding where the water-russet sheds on pampas
And inverness.  Eyes like wing through ever—
Green, empties the fossil shell.  Fire, brimming
Mountaintops that were, for countless millennia,
Sleeping.  Did I mention that the earth moved?
No?  Her displacement was involuntary.

Then came the waterfalls, lifting throughout
Time.  The scent, searching for its identity,
The wave, calling to its own name— Ocean,
O— cean.  And flowers, opening like galaxies
In the after-light.  A universe of face and hand
With hunger for salt-rain and then the cloud
Burst-blue and spilt and spun more redolent,
Deities, in joyous creation.

I breathe, in your ocean, like a child unborn.

were we looking
for the feminine
of our soft hands
no questioning
the nature of daylight
is wonder, we feel it
in our touch
we know the ancient art of
cartography: love memory
death quivers deltas of tears
we taste the starvation of breath
the magnitude of gratitude

we kept the drum of hearts
alight to catch the waves of time
Anna's drum summoned Shiva,
the master of shiver
the god of blood
carrying sage scent in our hair
forgotten paths in our shapes
pink lotus flowers in our wombs
bold desires in our feet
tales of flames in each scar

we recognise each other
greet with a soul reverence
across time across space
we forgive ouselves
our betrayals violations
of a feminine truth
we wait for the men we love
we set ourselves free
from the spinning wheel of pain

we receive
we keep
what is alive
what is dead
still not born
in refused bodies:
the possibility of
kindness

we are women
we are dancers
we sing fiercely,
gently from the
chest of the moon

the zombie has opinions about nutrition
but lives off of tasty urban debris

the zombie is standing on the beach
whipped by grey
watching the waves roll in high

the zombie is on the computer again--
where nobody knows he's a zombie

the zombie seems to be listening but is looking at his phone

the zombie is not a joiner, so don't be uncool and ask
though he might join and then drop out, which just proves
joining was pointless in the first place

oh definitely the zombie likes to go down

the zombie bites the hand that feeds him

the zombie does not mind poison if it means saving money

the zombie is against bad things.

the zombie is not a sheep.

the zombie is dying of loneliness but can't ever seem to connect.

the zombie is spreading deserts
and drowning deltas.

the zombie is standing up for what's right, on facebook.

the zombie knows that *** is safer than alcohol
and it makes him safer

the zombie feels guilty sometimes but ultimately
not personally responsible.

the zombie is tired--not enough sleep, not enough brains.

the zombie doesn't need you,
he just wants you,
when he sees you.

ahem: the zombie wants you for your mind.

the zombie is free.

the zombie embodies Csikszentmihalyi's state of "Flow."

the zombie may have made you one of his kind,

you will never know because
zombies don't know they're
zombies.

Rose of your ear,
Lantern in your eyes,
Forest of branching hair,
In Inverness of your midlands,
I shall broach lit vernal deltas,
Kiss deep into darkling depths,
Climb the leaved trunks of thigh,
Drunk in the moisted, muted sighs
Of promise, tendered to surrender,
I shall know your ripened *******,
As bloom of moon paints moons
At night, I will be ****** in milk—
That offers itself to leeching babe,
With little, lithe fingers you rake one,
A wan vagabond, *****, homeward,
I shall know your flowing wetness,
Below my desert, with purpose,
I am lost, in sleep and dream,
May I never wake, may I
Sleep, never, may eye
Always open, keep
In tableaus of oil,
Strokes, hues,
Glittering
Of you.

Once, I was gifted the brightest jewel of all the wide worlds wonder

It shone for me with a brilliance, as it had for no other

But in my foolishness I cast this priceless jewel away

And as it fell t’was broken, the light scattered asunder


Now, it will not shine for me

And so, I stand in darkness


The bitter pain of watching its warmth shining upon others

As my own space dimmed, to dark and ugly colours

But it was I who cast the jewel that broke, and made itself anew

Stronger, fairer, brighter than the untouched jewel that I once knew


Still, I cannot bear to see

And so, I stand in darkness


A jewel so bright, many have sought to bask in its fey light

This is no earthen gemstone, nor star that graces the night

Most, too foolish to keep it shining upon them alone

A jewel set in the breast of artwork fairer and brighter beyond sight


Woe, it shines the least on me

And so, I stand in darkness


A darkness I would have flee from unforgiving fire

To burn the earth and all the heavens until I’m alone

To end this world with fell flames is to what I aspire

And watch the gods despair, at the crumbling of their thrones


Yet, I must not turn ugly

And so, I stand in darkness


Anguish will never wear such a resplendent face, as the one that I shall paint it

Despair will be sung truly, in a sweet melodic guise

I shall mould regret into a bolt of ruthless doom, enamored with a purpose

And pen loss in lustrous tales, to gild a readers eyes


All, done with some subtlety

And so, I stand the darkness


To sound a scream which rends the land, leaving a scar behind

To cry deltas flowing back through past deeds, flooding that frame of mind

For it to nourish life, of a beautiful, and evolved kind

Thus emptied, to float up and admire it from above, weightless, and refined


Though, I must tread silently

And so, I walk from darkness


Finally I saw the truth, after I was told a lie

Delivered into the blinding light, I was left wondering why

Why I was cursed with the folly to commit the greatest of life's crimes

Why I must now see sense, and what has passed me by


Still, t’was a choice made by me

And thus, I’ve burned with darkness






Never, never, ever again, to break such fragile, precious things

Nor walk with tactlessness, or tragedy in my stride

I'll shine with luminescence of thoughts and deeds most high

When some facets of that young boy, have finally, truly died



My own jewel shattered, with minds eye open wide

Now I understand, this allegory of dark and light

The memory of her sits on a balcony ledge, cigarette in hand.
My green light at the end of a dock.
And this time I am reaching out
like many before,
in pages and poems past.
Macbeth’s face is a book.
Her body is an atlas
tracing a beautiful continent.

Follow the long tributaries that lead to shallow deltas.
This shore begins softly and forms into slender feet,
quiet but powerful when outstretched an angler waiting for prey.
Odysseus, only, can hear this Siren play.  

Follow her legs, those tawny plains,
unbroken, guiding along welcomingly,
inviting curiosity and conscripting imagination.
An oasis.
And her torso is a valley from which
her laughter is ****** upward and resisted until uncontainable.
Dimples break and burst like earthquakes.  
A ridgeline is all that awaits until we see her face.
She is the Americas from bottom to top.

Follow her decorated canyon mouth
but know it is merely a diversion.  
Her eyes are icebergs, which shyly reveal themselves
to sink ships and drown lovers, for always.
Her hair is aurora borealis,
the northern lights,
dancing colorfully
to an unaccompanied waltz
heard by everyone but her.

As the memory of her sits the smoke billows around
like clouds traveling down a coastline
only to dissipate
and disappear.

Chapter 1
It was cold. Freezing. The first day of the winter chill had started in northern Washington. The sun now hid behind the thick ceiling of clouds as they began their annual snowdrop and the mountains began to howl as the winter winds bared their fangs. Near the mountains was a town with a population of one hundred thousand. The town was officially established in 1840, though a now extinct native tribe settled there long before. Life here was normal for most.
A jog and a stone's throw away was a semi-secluded high school that lay deep in the woods, holding some fifteen hundred students. The gray bricks were reminiscent of a prison, juxtaposed against the walls of towering trees all around it. As snow began to blanket the ground, a single pair of footprints led to the school.

Professor Thompson, a younger teacher, was yelling again, "If I see another one of you punks rolling in here halfway through class, I swear I'm going to make sure you end up living in detention!" Alexei grinned, whispering the exact same phrase in unison with the teacher. The younger members of his "pack" snickered behind him. His group of eight was split between boys and girls appearing between seventeen and twenty. They were a small part of the senior class and had the reputation of being stubborn, loyal, and dangerous at times.

They embraced the reputaion, knowing how true it was. They were Lycans. Shapeshifters. Werewolves. They all meant the same thing. They were descendants of the "extinct" tribe that once lived in the area, though their numbers now were far greater and much more widespread.
When each Lycan turned fifteen, they would have their first shift. They would turn into Dire Wolves, about twice as large as a normal gray wolf.  During their first transformation, instinct would guide them to an alpha who would help them transition to the new life, teaching them how to shift at will and how to survive. Each pack was structured by rank, Alpha, Beta, and Delta.
There were only two Alpha's per pack, one male, one female. They made decisions and guided the newly transformed Lycans. Once a Lycan proved themaelves, they were given the rank of Delta. Their duty was to learn and follow any order to the best of their ability. A Delta could be chosen to become a Beta, either by trial or by challenge.

In this case, Alexei was the alpha and this was his territory.
Alexei stood at exactly six feet tall, was light skinned and was built like an animal, lean and muscular. His straight hair was jet black and ended in a flurry of blood red tips that lay hidden under a heavy black jacket and a hood lined with white fur. His yellow eyes glowed faintly under his hood.

Alexei turned his head slightly to the left, where Hunter sat, or rather slept. Alexei heard his pack mate wake up in a daze and groan, "What? I'm still in class? Man this *****."
Alexei grinned, flashing his long canines and the rest of the Pack laughed quietly amongst themselves. "Alexei... would you mind keeping your cronies under control, please?" His eyes locked onto the professor, their golden glow piercing the darkness of the hood like slivers of fire. The pack immediately went silent.
"Why of course, professor. We wouldn't want to disturb the lecture now would we?" His powerful voice dripped with acidic sarcasm, laced with a deadly seriousness. "Right guys?" The question hung dead in the air for a few heartbeats.
When no response came, he turned his head sharply, his gaze cutting into each of his bretheren. A collection of nervous, 'yes sir, yes alpha' rang out quietly. He closed his eyes and said, "All yours, professor."
Alexei drew a breath and let his consciousness flow towards the group. He felt each of their minds twitch in surprise as he spoke directly to them.
Just bear with it guys, its the last class of the day.
He heard another person's voice flutter into the pool of thoughts. but, alpha, it was Leiks, one of the betas.its snowing... we want to go out.
He growled slightly, just low enough for the Lycans to hear  And you think I don't? You know how this works, Leiks. We have to abide by the Sapiens rules.
Alexei heard her whimper slightly in submission, backing out of his thoughts. Leiks fidgeted in her seat on the back row, looking out the freezing window at the puffy white flakes cascading down around the school. Her blonde hair ended in vibrant purple curls that bounced around her chest. She was the youngest Beta at eighteen years old. Leiks was one of the three betas in Alexei's pack. The longest serving Beta was a male named Chance. He was Alexei's right hand, commanding all of the strength and loyalty as his Alpha. He had the figure of a sprinter, and was the fastest Lycan other than Alexei. His eyes were a very rare violet, further accenting his undercut blonde hair.
The other Beta was a red haired female named Krista. She was one of the oldest of the pack, at nineteen years old. She acted as the peacekeeper of the pack, settling the disputes when Alexei was away on business.

The other four were all deltas, each of them still looking to prove themselves.
Alexei caught a hint of something in the air; it smelled like a sweet musk mixed with crisp apples. The smell sent an icy tingle up and down his spine for an eternity before settling at the base of his neck, making his hair stand on end. He growled softly in his throat, grinning.
Smell something, alpha?, it was Leiks.
Yeah... maybe...
He grinned and felt warm all over. He felt the urge to go wild, to wolf out. Alexei bit his tongue in an effort to calm his instincts. He cleared his mind and closed his eyes, taking one long breath after another before the waves of longing subsided.
Professor Thompson continued with his lecture on mythology, talking about the classic horror creatures like vampires and werewolves. He focused awfully ******* the latter, going on and on about lycanthropy. The professor then began to compare the natures of both species, concluding with a comment on their painful existence.

Alexei bared his fangs in a silent growl, gripping the edge of his desk hard enough to make it creak in dismay. 
He thought to himself, we shouldn't be giving the Sapiens our whole history, even if they don't pay attention, much less believe in us.
Alexei's mind wandered as he pored over the history of his people. He stared down at his hands and he began to think about all of the Lycans that had been part of his pack.
An image flashed before his eyes of a bloodied white wolf lying before him, whimpering helplessly as its crimson blood steamed against the snow. The cries of pain echoed as clear as crystal in his mind. Alexei's own blood boiled as the memory took over his thoughts. He could see blood on his hands, staining the desk. He could see the life leaving the white wolf's blue eyes. He heard the all to familiar laugh echo in the forest. Alexei's heart beat filled his ears, deafening him. He felt nothing but rage as he searched for the killer's face.

His anger lasted only a second before a hand tenderly gripped his shoulder. His eyes flashed open and he bared his fangs slightly. He snapped his gaze over his shoulder at the pack, their eyes wide and locked on him, emanating dread. The hand belonged to Flora, the youngest member of the pack at sixteen. Her eyes were full of innocent fear as she looked at her enraged Alpha. Alexei realized he had partially transformed, his teeth had all turned to sharp incisors, ready to rend flesh from bone. He forced his body to revert back, feeling the fangs retreat. Alexei nodded and Flora let go of his shoulder. Alexei turned and shut his eyes again, his good mood soured for now. He took a deep breath and sighed, wishing for that scent again. Five more minutes...
Those five minutes drug on like a glacier, the professor's words trailing off into the distance as he switched topics. Can he go any slower?
Don't jinx us, alpha, sir. came Flora's response.
You don't have to call me sir, Flora. We're a family.
The wolves stayed silent for the rest of the class, listening halfheartedly to the professor. "As you all know, this is the last day of school until January. I hope you all have some plans, some family to go see." 
He paused for a moment as if to say something else. The professor was looking directly at Alexei, who could feel the teacher's eyes boring into his soul. The bell finally rang, and Alexei was the first one out of his seat, ready to bolt for the door, but a stern voice called his name.
"One moment, Alex. I need to have a word with you." The professor looked directly at Alexei with an iron stare. They stood there for a moment as the others left the room, chattering amongst themselves. All but one. Flora remained defiantly beside Alexei, looking up at him. He looked down at her, his eyes opening with a soft yellow glow.
"Go on, I'll be fine." Flora looked at him quizzically but obeyed.
Alexei waited for the door to close, looking at the professor only after the latch had clicked into place. Alexei smirked and said, "What's up, doc?"
Professor Thompson raked his hand through his hair and removed his glasses. Laying them gently on the table. "I really wish you'd stop doing that. It's unbecoming of a wolf of your stature."
Alexei looked at him and shrugged. "You have to keep up with the times, Tom."
The professor laughed, "What times? The forties?" He walked around the desk and leaned against its front. He sighed and his tone changed, "We may have a problem on our hands, Alex. It's a vampire attack."
Alexei scowled. "I thought you had tabs on all the vampires in the area. As the resident Vampire Lord, it's your job to control them." The professor looked impatiently at the Lycan, waiting for him to finish. "Besides I thought you had them all drinking blood from the hospital?"
Thompson clenched a fist against the table and said through gritted teeth, "My people... Didn't attack anyone. They were attacked. By a Lycan."
Alexei sat on the edge of one of the desks and was silent for a moment. Then, "Please tell me it was just an unhappy accident?"
Thompson sighed and shook his head, "Lycan blood was found at the scene. A trail led to the outskirts of town where we found the unidentifiable body of a half transformed Lycan. Female. We cleaned it up as best we could but you have to understand, my people are going to find out one way or another." He looked intently at Alex, "I'm not accusing you or your pack of anything. But we're going to have a serious situation on our hands soon once the High Courts hear of it."
Alexei sighed and pondered the facts. He tapped a finger against the table repeatedly as he thought. "We had reports of a lone wolf wandering around the countryside. Nothing unusual, other than nobody had seem this particular wolf in nearly ten years. Then all of a sudden she vanished. We tacked it up to misinformation." Alexei tilted his head back. "Last we knew she was outside of my territory, closer to Steelhead's." He paused, "This makes the first death since the interspecies pacts."
The professor nodded, "And that's why we both have to be on our best behavior. All of the Underworld will be watching us now."
Alexei nodded and stood up. "Thanks for letting me know. I'll be in touch." He touched ******* to his lips in farewell and the professor did the same.


As Alexei opened the door, he saw the pack waiting in the hallway just out of earshot. He approached them and they swarmed around him, each of them with a question on their lips. Alexei silenced them with a short gesture and they continued on their way outside. The pack wound through hallways and double doors until they felt the tingle of cold touch their skin. They trailed along behind their leader and burst out the doors, welcoming the frigid air and the soft snowfall they had waited all year for. They hooted and howled giddily, their faces covered in goofy grins and awestruck eyes as they pushed past Alexei and dove into the snow with the other students. Alexei stood there, looking for what he had smelled earlier, for him it was more important than the snow. He scanned the horizon, eyes open wide and searching relentlessly. After a moment, he saw his target, leaning against a tree on the far end of the schoolyard, her fiery hair waving gracefully in the wind. "Jenna."
She winked at him and gestured to her right, where an open forest lay uninhabited. He nodded slightly and made his way down the steps, his heart pounding harder and harder in his chest.
I'll be back soon... Leiks you're in charge.
You okay, alpha, sir? Flora always worried for her alpha.
Yeah, I just need a walk is all.
But... Leiks put a hand on Flora's shoulder and shook her head.
Alexei walked to the edge of the schoolyard and saw that Jenna was already in the woods. Glancing back at the pack, he grinned like a Cheshire cat and chased after her.
They wound through the trees, picking up speed and tossing their heavy jackets away.
Come catch me, big boy. she taunted.

He watched her every graceful move, following relentlessly until he had her. He wrapped his arms around her in a tackle and they rolled, laughing all the while until they came to a halt. Alexei was on top of Jenna, straddling her legs and breathing heavily with her. She closed her eyes and grinned wide, her chest heaving. The air was freezing cold but they couldn't feel it as he leaned in and kissed her, entwining his fingers into her hair. She kissed back and pulled away, biting his neck in the way she knew would make him go weak. Alexei stifled a moan and Jenna felt his muscles quiver. She took the opportunity to push him onto his back and claim dominance over him by straddling him. The heat from Alexei's body made the snow melt and steam below them. He buried his face in her neck, kissing just below her ear. She smelled amazing, the musk of her animal side mixed with her perfume drove Alexei crazy.
He slid his hand under her shirt and felt the curves of her slender body press against him and she growled. Jenna pulled away from the kiss, a grin on her face, "Not yet, darling. There's time for that later."
"I've missed you, kitten."
She growled softly, "you best stop that while you're ahead." She grinned wider and kneaded her claws into his chest. Alexei called her 'kitten' because of her fondness towards cats, specifically kittens.
"Are the others here too?" He pushed her up off of him and stood up himself, closing his eyes in the process. He was referring to Jenna's friends who had left with her a year ago.
"They got here shortly before I did. They're already at the hideout."
Alexei nodded, "We'll be there shortly. Do you want to come with us for the time being?" They began walking back to the schoolyard, grabbing their jackets on the way.
She giggled, "I suppose I should, so they can get used to having two alphas around." Her eyes twinkled as she said it.
Alexei grinned, "I thought it wasn't for another year! Congratulations!"
There was a glimmer of pride in her eyes. "I couldn't have done it without you, darling. They made an exception for me since you had already trained me so well." Jenna had gone to a Lycan Academy farther north, in Canada. There, wolves would be trained to become better leaders or soldiers, depending on their rank. Jenna had shown great promise immediately and was put into higher groups and classes.
The schoolyard soon came into view, and Alexei's pack was still playing in the snow, throwing snowballs and just rolling around in the stuff like children. He whistled a little tune and each of the pack members looked directly at him, going wide eyed when they saw Jenna. They rushed over as fast as they could and tackled her with hugs. "You're back!"
Jenna struggled to get up as a dog pile ensued. Alexei's wild laugh mixed with the cacophony of greetings as Jenna squirmed out. Flora stood behind Alexei, this new person's presence terrifying to her. As the pack got untangled from each other, Jenna walked up to Alexei and Flora, who hid behind him like a cowering pup. Jenna looked at her, "Hey. I'm Jenna, me and Alexei are old friends."
Flora whimpered quietly but peeked out enough so she could get a good look at Jenna. Alexei turned to the pack, saying, "We're going back to the hideout. There's some old friends waiting there for us."

Chapter 2
The pack carried on as usual, sa

.
Rose of your ear,
Lantern in your eyes,
Forest of branching hair,
In Inverness of your midlands,
I shall broach lit vernal deltas,
Kiss deep into darkling depths,
Climb the leaved trunks of thigh,
Drunk in the moisted, muted sighs
Of promise, tendered to surrender,
I shall know your ripened *******,
As bloom of moon paints moons
At night, I will be ****** in milk—
That offers itself to leeching babe,
With little, lithe fingers you rake one,
A wan vagabond, *****, homeward,
I shall know your flowing wetness,
Below my desert, with purpose,
I am lost, in sleep and dream,
May I never wake, may I
Sleep, never, may eye
Always open, keep
In tableaus of oil,
Strokes, hues,
Glittering
Of you.

I was with the ocean last night and your body
Was its vessel, overflowing.  Words were frail,
Drops indwelling about the shapeless sky,
Water reaching for its own height and breath,
Like touch, were as desperate letters exchanged,
Endlessly read, until like loamy vellums, they
Disappeared in our hands.  Inklings of tide-
Pool and driftwood.

                               My blood was a river that ran
Its course.  Members feeding your deltas and birds
Breeding where the water-russet sheds on pampas
And inverness.  Eyes like wing through ever—
Green, empties the fossil shell.  Fire, brimming
Mountaintops that were, for countless millennia,
Sleeping.  Did I mention that the earth moved?
No?  Her displacement was involuntary.

Then came the waterfalls, lifting throughout
Time.  The scent, searching for its identity,
The wave, calling to its own name— Ocean,
O— cean.  And flowers, opening like galaxies
In the after-light.  A universe of face and hand
With hunger for salt-rain and then the cloud
Burst-blue and spilt and spun more redolent,
Deities, in joyous creation.

I breathe, in your ocean, like a child unborn.

.
Rose of your ear,
Lantern in your eyes,
Forest of branching hair,
In Inverness of your midlands,
I shall broach lit vernal deltas,
Kiss deep into darkling depths,
Climb the leaved trunks of thigh,
Drunk in the moisted, muted sighs
Of promise, tendered to surrender,
I shall know your ripened *******,
As bloom of moon paints moons
At night, I will be ****** in milk—
That offers itself to leeching babe,
With little, lithe fingers you rake one,
A wan vagabond, *****, homeward,
I shall know your flowing wetness,
Below my desert, with purpose,
I am lost, in sleep and dream,
May I never wake, may I
Sleep, never, may eye
Always open, keep
In tableaus of oil,
Strokes, hues,
Glittering
Of you.

I was with the ocean last night and your body
Was its vessel, overflowing.  Words were frail,
Drops indwelling about the shapeless sky,
Water reaching for its own height and breath,
Like touch, were as desperate letters exchanged,
Endlessly read, until like loamy vellums, they
Disappeared in our hands.  Inklings of tide-
Pool and driftwood.

                               My blood was a river that ran
Its course.  Members feeding your deltas and birds
Breeding where the water-russet sheds on pampas
And inverness.  Eyes like wing through ever—
Green, empties the fossil shell.  Fire, brimming
Mountaintops that were, for countless millennia,
Sleeping.  Did I mention that the earth moved?
No?  Her displacement was involuntary.

Then came the waterfalls, lifting throughout
Time.  The scent, searching for its identity,
The wave, calling to its own name— Ocean,
O— cean.  And flowers, opening like galaxies
In the after-light.  A universe of face and hand
With hunger for salt-rain and then the cloud
Burst-blue and spilt and spun more redolent,
Deities, in joyous creation.

I breathe, in your ocean, like a child unborn.

Her love is like a Minnesota river,
Still only on the surface, and only in the winter

My love is like a maple on the shore
That waits to be fed by your waters and constantly wants more

I don't need to tell you where or know whee you go,
You're gonna do what you do and be beautiful so,
Don't let me stop you,
Just flow river, flow

I know it's impossible to keep you dammed,
Your waters will swell to keep moving and I'll lose your hand

See you're made of water and slippery after all
But you're always there on the landing and soft when I fall

I wanna grow into your deltas, shade your shores, give you love,
My leaves fall in your waters, you surround and give the best hugs

I could never stop you, and I won't try any more,
I'm just a maple in the autumn waiting to wade into your shore

I'd kid myself thinking you're not a different river every day,
But at least I always get a new you before I have to let you flow away

But in a tiny little puddle in my roots you'll be remembered for a while
I know that I'm not as tall as I want yet, and you're not nearly the Nile

But still you'll flow to different places and I'll stay here the same
I'll always see you shining in the current and hope to feel you in the rain

Her love is like a Minnesota river
Still only on the surface, and only in the winter

My love is like a maple on the shore
That waits to be fed by your waters and constantly wants more

I don't need to tell you where or know where you go,
You're gonna do what you do and be beautiful so,
Don't let me stop you,
Just flow river, flow

Lofty mountain paints the scene,
Trees and bushes fill the green.

Crispy voice of birds chirping,
Humming sound of bees churning.

Alluring oasis thirst quenching,
Reflecting rays of sunlight so soothing.

Choice of flowers wide-ranging,
View of blooming flowers bewildering.

Streams of river meandering,
Forming deltas so encompassing.

Smell of sweetness so filling,
Sense of freedom enlightening.

**** sirens and charming nymphs,
Carefree gypsies and quixotic imps,

Alas, but none can be compared to
Mother Nature, the Beauty Queen!

some nights, it's raining
to the smell of decomposing leaves and wood smoke
and the stars have taken the night off

and i'm the full moon,
all rock powder and collision,
and nights like this, my dust stirs
and my craters ache

i look up,
wash the shadowed earth in my reflected starlight,
try to taste her clouds

i miss the rain

i never met her, but i miss the rain
i don't know why my craters ache but it's because i miss the rain

i don't know what rain does to a body,
the way she washes dust to deltas and floodplains,
the way she makes you grow in ways you never thought you could,
turns grey to green and growing.

i need that.

i don't know that i need that, only that my craters ache, that
my dust stirs, dry and restless...

my life is grand and complex:
i, a cosmic ballerina, engaged in elaborate
planetary dance: turn, pull, reflect,
I look for solace in the sunlight and the shadow,
find joy in the warming and the cooling,

ignorantly lack.


I do not know the shape of you.
I don't know how to look for you.
I don't know that I need to look for you.

If we meet, I will not recognize you.

Soon, the first flower would bloom from my lips.
We would smile at each other.
My dust would feed your clouds and your clouds would feed my skin.
We would be grateful.

I am already grateful.
I do not know the lack of you.
My dust and my craters are enough


except
sometimes, in late Autumn,
when the smell of leaves and wood smoke remind me of
nothing
and my craters start to ache...

New nature feeds off those words of temporal happiness,
Leaving behind the misery of poets
To lingering moments of waking in solitude.
Yet, they build in my pulse
Till I find I have been sitting in the shower
For a heavy hour
Disguising lonely deltas.

Eternal ancient mirrors reflect my body falling back
Into the man made rain
Letting droplets hit me on the fontanel
Unable to let them in.
Cause one day all this will only be a memory
And why would I want to add to this heavy pocket of lost history?

This morning my breath
Reached a moment of actuality.
I felt compelled to leave the rain
And start my day with the closest star.
There you go darling,
Rip Grecian suns from the garden of
My soul and let dead trees
Be stained with our love.

Oh god,
The motion has only begun.

I must know that love has privilege
In its pain. the only way to
Truly leave solitary water
Is to accept our flaws
As artistic talent.
Each stab of passion has given me
The tools to create
A portrait of our past attempt.

But I fight this epitome. Seeing your
Face brings anger to my
Persevering smile. I am made
Ashamed of my own inflicted violence,
Destroying my desire to hear your internal maps.
This only leads me back to
Rain and I am caught in
My contradictions.

So, I let my desert skin
Take in the water yet again.
But this time
I don't bend my knees
In prayer to our hope.

I swallow the liquid,
Tainted with the blood of city pipes,
And feel my pulse jump out
Toward the lucent droplets
Of some faithful future.

Have you ever met someone
that makes you want to grab their
hand, turn it over, and
gently press your lips
into the soft part
of their wrist,
tenderly scarred and
rich in its
flowing deltas of blue veins,
beautifully alive.
Someone who you want
to hold, hold
their shaking existence,  
through the rain,
clicking on the windows
of their ribcage,
through the silent
light of spring,
hard dark
of winter.
You would give
your head and your heart,
to see the sun shine on
the easy curve of their cheeks,
lips parted in a smile
like the dissolution
of ice.

This is a quick note
informing you that I
have enrolled
in "your geography 101."
I look forward to exploring
you from sea to shining sea,
your fruited plains,
your mountain tops,
your golden fields of sunlit grain,
your divided highways, causeways,
and often spread a luscious lunch upon the apron of your back roads.
For extra credit
I plan a thesis on your deltas,
spelunk your caves for glistening jewels,
swim your lachrimal lakes,
and pray that you keep me after school.

Rose of your ear,
Lantern in your eyes,
Forest of branching hair,
In Inverness of your midlands,
I shall broach lit vernal deltas,
Kiss deep into darkling depths,
Climb the leaved trunks of thigh,
Drunk in the moisted, muted sighs
Of promise, tendered to surrender,
I shall know your ripened *******,
As bloom of moon paints moons
At night, I will be ****** in milk—
That offers itself to leeching babe,
With little, lithe fingers you rake one,
A wan vagabond, *****, homeward,
I shall know your flowing wetness,
Below my desert, with purpose,
I am lost, in sleep and dream,
May I never wake, may I
Sleep, never, may eye
Always open, keep
In tableaus of oil,
Strokes, hues,
Glittering
Of you.

I was with the ocean last night and your body
Was its vessel, overflowing.  Words were frail,
Drops indwelling about the shapeless sky,
Water reaching for its own height and breath,
Like touch, were as desperate letters exchanged,
Endlessly read, until like loamy vellums, they
Disappeared in our hands.  Inklings of tide-
Pool and driftwood.

                               My blood was a river that ran
Its course.  Members feeding your deltas and birds
Breeding where the water-russet sheds on pampas
And inverness.  Eyes like wing through ever—
Green, empties the fossil shell.  Fire, brimming
Mountaintops that were, for countless millennia,
Sleeping.  Did I mention that the earth moved?
No?  Her displacement was involuntary.

Then came the waterfalls, lifting throughout
Time.  The scent, searching for its identity,
The wave, calling to its own name— Ocean,
O— cean.  And flowers, opening like galaxies
In the after-light.  A universe of face and hand
With hunger for salt-rain and then the cloud
Burst-blue and spilt and spun more redolent,
Deities, in joyous creation.

I breathe, in your ocean, like a child unborn.

Fearless
PART 1
Chapter 1
It was cold. Freezing. The first day of the winter chill had started here in Washington. There was a semi-secluded high school deep in the woods, holding some two thousand high school students.
Professor Thompson, a younger teacher, was yelling again, "If I see another one of you punks rolling in here halfway through class, I swear I'm going to fail each and every one of you!" Alexei grinned, his eyes closed, mouthing out the exact same phrase in unison with the teacher. His "pack" snickered behind him, nine boys and girls all dressed in dark clothes with varying levels of oddity. They were a small part of the senior class at Liberty High, and had the reputation as dangerous, rebellious punks. They embraced the title, knowing how true it was. They were Lycans. Shape shifters. Werewolves. They all meant the same thing. When they were young, around fifteen, they would have had their first shift. They would turn into Dire Wolves, about twice as large as your normal gray wolf.  During their first transformation, they would be guided to an alpha who would help them transition to the new life, teaching them how to shift at will and how to survive. In this case, Alexei was the alpha and this was his territory.
Alexei stood at exactly six feet tall, was light skinned and was built like an animal, lean and muscular. His straight hair was jet black and ended in a flurry of blood red tips that lay hidden under a heavy black jacket and a hood lined with white fur. Alexei generally kept his eyes closed unless he was angry or upset, using his enhanced hearing and smell to navigate. "Hunter, eyes forward!" Alexei turned his head slightly to the left, where Hunter sat, or rather slept. Alexei heard his pack mate wake up in a daze and groan, "What? I'm still in class? Man this *****." His green hair bounced in front of his eyes, tickling his nose and making him sneeze.
Alexei grinned, flashing his long canines and the rest of the Pack laughed quietly amongst themselves. "Alexei... would you mind keeping your cronies under control, please?" He opened his eyes slightly, their golden glow piercing the darkness of the hood like slivers of fire. The pack immediately went silent.
"Why of course, professor. We wouldn't want to disturb the lecture now would we?" His powerful voice dripped acidic sarcasm, laced with a deadly seriousness. "Right guys?" The question hung dead I'm the air for a few heartbeats.
When no response came, he turned his head sharply, his piercing eyes fully open. "Right?!" His voice boomed throughout the room like thunder and a collection of nervous, 'yes sir, yes alpha' rang out quietly. He closed his eyes again and said, "All yours, professor."
Just bear with it guys, its the last class of the day.
He heard another person's voice flutter into his thoughts. but, alpha, it was Leiks, one of the betas. its snowing... we want to go out.
He growled slightly, And you think I don't? You know how this works, Leiks.
He heard her whimper slightly in submission, backing out of his thoughts. She fidgeted in her seat in the back row, looking out the window at the puffy white flakes cascading down around the school. Her blonde hair ended in purple curls that bounced around her chest. She was shorter, around five foot four inches tall, and was one of the three betas in Alexei's pack. The other two were the twins, Ruby and Sapphire, whose hair was black and ended in red and blue respectively. They rarely spoke to others out loud, keeping their thoughts to themselves. The other four were all deltas or omegas.
Alexei caught a hint of something in the air, it smelled like a sweet musk mixed with crisp apples. The smell sent a tingle up and down his spine for a few moments before settling. He growled softly in his throat, grinning.
Smell something, alpha?, it was Leiks.
Yeah... maybe...
He grinned and felt warm all over, however more impatient to get outside.
Professor Thompson continued with his lecture on mythology, talking about the classic horror creatures like vampires and werewolves. He focused awfully ******* the latter, going on and on about lycanthropy and the horrible nature of werewolves.
Alexei bared his fangs in a silent growl, gripping the edge of his desk hard enough to make it creak in dismay. What does he know.... he hasn't been through it.... he hasn't seen his friends die in front of him… An image flashed before his eyes of a bloodied white wolf lying before him, whimpering helplessly as its crimson blood steamed against the snow. His anger lasted only a second before a hand tenderly gripped his shoulder. His eyes flashed open and he gasped slightly. He snapped his gaze over his shoulder at the pack, their eyes wide and locked on him, emanating dread. The hand belonged to Flora, the youngest member of the pack at 17. Her eyes were full of innocent fear as she looked at her enraged alpha. He nodded and she let go of his shoulder. Alexei turned and shut his eyes again, his good mood soured for now. He took a deep breath and sighed, wishing for that scent again. Five more minutes...
Those five minutes drug on like a glacier, the professor's words trailing off into the distance as he switched topics. Can he go any slower?
Don't jinx us, alpha, sir. came Flora's response.
You don't have to call me sir, Flora. We're a family.
The wolves stayed silent for the rest of the class, listening halfheartedly to the professor. "As you all know, this is the last day of school until January. I hope you all have some plans, some family to go see."
He paused for a moment and then: "Never. Ever. Forget. There is a grain of truth in every myth." The professor was looking directly at Alexei, who cringed slightly. He could feel the teacher's eyes boring into his soul. The bell finally rang, and Alexei was the first one out, quickly followed by the scrambling pack. They wound through hallways and double doors until they felt the tingle of cold touch their skin. They trailed along behind their leader and burst out the doors, welcoming the frigid air and the soft snowfall they had waited all year for. They hooted and howled giddily, their faces covered in goofy grins and awestruck eyes as they pushed past Alexei and dove into the snow with the other students. Alexei stood there, looking for what he had smelled earlier, for him it was more important than the snow. He scanned the horizon, eyes open wide and searching relentlessly. After a moment, he saw his target, leaning against a tree on the far end of the schoolyard, her fiery hair waving gracefully in the wind. "Jenna."
She winked at him and gestured to her right, where an open forest lay uninhabited. He nodded slightly and made his way down the steps, his heart pounding harder and harder in his chest.
I'll be back soon... Leiks you're in charge.
You okay, alpha, sir? Flora always worried for her alpha.
Yeah, I just need a walk is all.
But... Leiks put a hand on Flora's shoulder and shook her head.
Alexei walked to the edge of the schoolyard and saw that Jenna was already in the woods. Glancing back at the pack, he grinned like a Cheshire cat and chased after her.
They wound through the trees, picking up speed and tossing their heavy jackets away.
Come catch me, big boy. she taunted.
I intend to.
He watched her every graceful move, following relentlessly until he had her. He wrapped his arms around her in a tackle and they rolled, laughing all the while until they came to a halt. Alexei was on top of Jenna, straddling her legs and breathing heavily with her. She closed her eyes and grinned wide, her chest heaving. The air was freezing cold but they couldn't feel it as he leaned in and kissed her deeply, entwining his fingers into her hair. She kissed back, biting his lip in the way she knew would make him weak. She felt his muscles quiver and she took the opportunity to push him onto his back and claim dominance over him by straddling him. She smelled amazing, the musk of her animal side mixed with her perfume drove Alexei crazy.
He slid his hand under her shirt and felt the curves of her slender body press against him as she gasped. She pulled away from the kiss, a grin on her face, "Not yet, ***. There's time for that later."
"I've missed you, kitten."
She growled softly, "you best stop that while you're ahead, sweetheart." She grinned wider and kneaded her claws into his chest. Alexei called her 'kitten' because of her fondness towards cats, specifically kittens.
"Are the others here too?" He pushed her up off of him and stood up himself, closing his eyes in the process. The others were Jenna's friends who had left with her a year ago.
"Mmmhmm. They got here shortly before I did. They're already at the hideout."
Alexei nodded, "We'll be there shortly. Do you want to come with us for the time being?" They began walking back to the schoolyard, grabbing their jackets on the way.
She giggled, "I suppose I should, so they can get used to having two alphas around." Her eyes twinkled as she said it.
Alexei grinned, "I thought it wasn't for another year! Congratulations!"
"They pushed it up since I've been moving up so fast." Jenna had gone to a Lycan Academy farther north, in Canada. There, wolves would be trained to become better leaders or soldiers, depending on their rank. Jenna had shown great promise immediately and was put into higher groups and classes.
The schoolyard soon came into view, and Alexei's pack was still playing in the snow, throwing snowballs and just rolling around in the stuff among the other high schoolers. He whistled a little tune and each of the pack members looked directly at him, going wide eyed when they saw Jenna. They rushed over as fast as they could and tackled her with hugs. "You're back!"
Jenna struggled to get up as a dog pile ensued. Alexei's wild laugh mixed with the cacophony of greetings as Jenna squirmed out. Flora stood behind Alexei, this new person's presence terrifying to her. As the pack got untangled from each other, Jenna walked up to Alexei and Flora, who hid behind him like a cowering pup. Jenna looked at her, "Hey. I'm Jenna, me and Alexei are old friends."
Flora whimpered quietly but peeked out enough so she could get a good look at Jenna. Alexei turned to the pack, saying, "We're going back to the hideout. There's some old friends waiting there for us."

Chapter 2
The pack carried on as usual, sauntering on down the sidewalk leading further into the woods with Jenna, Alexei and Flora following close behind.
"How old is she?" Asked Jenna.
"I'm seventeen. This is my first year as-..." she trailed off, still unsure of herself.
"As a Lycan?" Flora nodded softly.
"You know about us?" Asked Flora, bewildered.
Jenna giggled a little, letting flora get a good look at her canines, which extended down to her lower teeth. "I'm one of you."
Flora looked at her, confused. "But you don't smell like them. You smell different."
Jenna glanced at Alexei, who was still strolling alongside them with his eyes closed as usual. "You can tell her, Kitten."
Jenna punched him in the shoulder with a loud thud that would have left any normal person cringing, but Alexei just shrugged it off. He's definitely a lot stronger than I remember.
She turned to Flora, "I'm an alpha. Like Alexei. Each alpha has a different scent."
Flora gazed at her with newfound wonder and fear. Jenna saw this and said, "Don't worry, Flora. I only bite my prey. You're not prey, are you?"
Flora grinned a little, "Of course not."
They had reached a little clearing with ten trees aligned in a perfect circle around a massive evergreen that towered roughly sixty feet tall, casting a massive shadow underneath it. The pack had named it the Forever Tree, with its many years to come. At the base of the ten trees were empty backpacks covered in snow, each one a different style and color. The pack gathered under the Forever Tree and looked at Alexei with a certain desire clear on their faces.
Alexei grinned and said, "Go wild, guys."
"Finally!" The pack began to transform, fur popping out of their skin in a wave of softness, their faces elongating into muzzles and their fangs revealing themselves in their entirety. Their majestic tails struggled to get free from the jackets and pants that surrounded the wolves. They shook the clothes from their bodies, piling them up in individual piles before taking them to the backpacks under the trees. Each one expertly placed their clothes into the bag and then sat patiently next to their trees as the two alphas and Flora watched. Once each wolf was finished, Alexei whistled sharply and they grabbed their bags by the carry handle and formed a line in front of him. Alexei had modified each bag to fit as a harness around the wolves, making the transport that much easier. He helped each one of his pack mates with their bag and they in turn took shelter under the Forever tree. Once everyone was there, Alexei waved them off and they took off into the woods.
"Flora, grab your bag so it doesn't get lost out here."
"Yes, alpha, sir." She ran to grab her bag from the last tree. Alexei and Jenna casually followed, "You don't have to call me sir, Flora. Remember? We're a family."
They followed the paw prints in the snow up a winding path which led to an old cabin, seemingly forgotten out here. The smell of wolf musk was heavy in the air as they approached. The cabin rested on the top of a tall hill, with a winding staircase leading up to the wraparound porch and the two story cabin itself. All the wolves were waiting, already mingled in with each other on the porch. Jenna's pack was roughly five wolves, mostly female. As all wolves find out eventually, whatever modifications they do to their human body, such as tattoos or hair dyes, crosses over to their wolf body. Some used this trick as a way to make themselves unique, or to show a pack allegiance. Alexei's pack were unique in their markings, each one having their hair dyed and having a wolf paw surrounded by a crescent moon. Jenna's pack was similar, though theirs was a long fang piercing a heart.
As they got closer, Jenna's wolves began to bark happily, welcoming their alphas. Jenna's betas were waiting at the base of the stairs, three grey females named Ginger, Lexi, and Anna.
Alex! We're so happy to see you! called Anna, one of Alexei's oldest friends.
"I've missed you guys too, you didn't have to wait down here for us, you know. Go on and say hi to the others." He scratched each of them behind the ears and they ran up the stairs happily. "Flora, you can wolf out now, I'll take care of your stuff."
She looked gratefully at her alpha and shifted into her wolf form, a sleek white, unmarked unlike the others. She ran up the stairs as Alexei gathered her clothes into the bag. Jenna took his hand once he'd finished and they walked up the stairs together, joining the wolves on the porch.
Alexei unlocked the front door and let the wolves into the spacious interior, with a mix of dog beds and couches in the main living area surrounding a large television. The kitchen had been recently stocked by Alexei, the freezer full of uncooked meats of all kinds. Alexei's wolves all gripped the release clip on their harnesses with their teeth and let their bags fall to their side, lining them against the wall near the door. Jenna watched this unfold as her own pack dragged in their own heavy bags from outside, bulky and awkward to carry in wolf form.
"I see you've been busy, Alex."
"I have extras in the storage room upstairs, if you guys are interested."
Her wolves whimpered pleadingly in response, the last one pulling the door closed behind her with a leather strap hanging from the handle.
Alexei turned to Leiks, who was halfway up the stairs already. "You know where they are right?" The black wolf nodded, her necklaces clinking slightly as she padded up the stairs. Everyone began settling down onto the couches and beds and Leiks came back down with five bags for Jenna's wolves.
The snow had begun to fall harder and there was a fresh blanket covering the tracks leading to the cabin. They were watching Balto, one of their favorite movies, when Alexei snapped his head towards the door, eyes open and glowing. He paused the movie and the wolves' attention was now on him as he looked out the window. He swore under his breath and cl

Deep in the shines
Of cobalt blinding suns,
A cold traveler is bound, lost,
With only pointed starry night
As print to slow circumnavigations
Of her ****** heavens, visions scope,
Cardinal points are ever reaching
Towards ancient regions of nether,
Pharohs deltas, negations and delight.
Twin stars searing, burning, burst—
And in the exploding nebulas of iris,
Celestial oceans of aquas rise, cries—
Eternal blue laid of cerulean skies
Outreach and reel, lot vacuums vast
To outer lands, riding stars chariot,
With such spacial years of light,
Only in eyes of her.

There were rivers
Streaming down her face
Great deltas in which he swam
Till he reached the shorelines
Of her wounded eyes

he stayed in the rim
Just out of sight,
In the curve of black
Where the day kissed the night

She could never see him
And he could only hear her pain
Her agony in loneliness
It ached for them to be apart
But he knew it was for the best

He could never reach her
But he thought if he might
It would be in her dreams
Where the day kissed the night

Deep in the shines
Of cobalt blinding suns,
A cold traveler is bound, lost,
With only pointed starry night
As print to slow circumnavigations
Of her ****** heavens, visions scope,
Cardinal points are ever reaching
Towards ancient regions of nether,
Pharohs deltas, negations and delight.
Twin stars searing, burning, burst—
And in the exploding nebulas of iris,
Celestial oceans of aquas rise, cries—
Eternal blue laid of cerulean skies
Outreach and reel, lot vacuums vast
To outer lands, riding stars chariot,
With such spacial years of light,
Only in eyes of her.

Feathered arrows flung—
Geese search for fertile grasslands,
  .  .  .  Deltas in the sky.

I woke at two
In the deep dark
with rain making soft lullabies
beyond the window.

In this space,
this moment
beneath the mantle,
There are splatters and deltas
Splayed like stretched fingers.

The drip from overhangs,
the dribble from ledges,
the patter at the glass,
as sure and soft as fingers on flesh

and there the hush
like breath against a summer tree
or a sigh of ghosts; still warm
with the memory of lost loves

So for a little while
I lie down in the darkness
and listen

I was with the ocean last night and your body
Was its vessel, overflowing.  Words were frail,
Drops indwelling about the shapeless sky,
Water reaching for its own height and breath,
Like touch, were as desperate letters exchanged,
Endlessly read, until like loamy vellums, they
Disappeared in our hands.  Inklings of tide-
Pool and driftwood.

                               My blood was a river that ran
Its course.  Members feeding your deltas and birds
Breeding where the water-russet sheds on pampas
And inverness.  Eyes like wing through ever—
Green, empties the fossil shell.  Fire, brimming
Mountaintops that were, for countless millennia,
Sleeping.  Did I mention that the earth moved?
No?  Her displacement was involuntary.

Then came the waterfalls, lifting throughout
Time.  The scent, searching for its identity,
The wave, calling to its own name— Ocean,
O— cean.  And flowers, opening like galaxies
In the after-light.  A universe of face and hand
With hunger for salt-rain and then the cloud
Burst-blue and spilt and spun more redolent,
Deities, in joyous creation.

I breathe, in your ocean, like a child unborn.

5/13/2015

There happens to be a tremendous peace in a spring night late in the season, sultry humid mornings and days seem brash in comparison to this light blue thing clouds crawling across the sky to the tune of mourning doves and woodpeckers. I cannot remember primaverial scenes before last year's. It seems spring is the shortest, the frigid isolation of winter is so permanent and branding that I can recall every individual one since perhaps '11. Fall and summer always seem to blend into a purgatorial gloaming paste. Throughout all these seasons one always feels he is a single pedestrian (or is there another name when one is wholly alone?) walking down winding drives and straited cremated avenues. Perhaps it is not so common– perhaps it is me, but even when walking in deltas of human life one in winter feels alone. But writing this by the Japanese oak under the beak of a woodpeckers I feel the same apprehension. It is me, I have decided.

.
I was with the ocean last night and your body
Was its vessel, overflowing.  Words were frail,
Drops indwelling about the shapeless sky,
Water reaching for its own height and breath,
Like touch, were as desperate letters exchanged,
Endlessly read, until like loamy vellums, they
Disappeared in our hands.  Inklings of tide-
Pool and driftwood.

                               My blood was a river that ran
Its course.  Members feeding your deltas and birds
Breeding where the water-russet sheds on pampas
And inverness.  Eyes like wing through ever—
Green, empties the fossil shell.  Fire, brimming
Mountaintops that were, for countless millennia,
Sleeping.  Did I mention that the earth moved?
No?  Her displacement was involuntary.

Then came the waterfalls, lifting throughout
Time.  The scent, searching for its identity,
The wave, calling to its own name— Ocean,
O— cean.  And flowers, opening like galaxies
In the after-light.  A universe of face and hand
With hunger for salt-rain and then the cloud
Burst-blue and spilt and spun more redolent,
Deities, in joyous creation.

I breathe, in your ocean, like a child unborn.

Deep in the shines
Of cobalt blinding suns,
A cold traveler is bound, lost,
With only pointed starry night
As print to slow circumnavigations
Of her ****** heavens, visions scope,
Cardinal points are ever reaching
Towards ancient regions of nether,
Pharohs deltas, negations and delight.
Twin stars searing, burning, burst—
And in the exploding nebulas of iris,
Celestial oceans of aquas rise, cries—
Eternal blue laid of cerulean skies
Outreach and reel, lot vacuums vast
To outer lands, riding stars chariot,
With such spacial years of light,
Only in eyes of her.

Helpless
Fearless
PART 1
Chapter 1
It was cold. Freezing. The first day of the winter chill had started here in Washington. There was a semi-secluded high school deep in the woods, holding some two thousand high schoolers. Professor Thompson, a younger teacher, was yelling again, "If I see another one of you punks rolling in here halfway through class, I swear I'm going to fail each and every one of you!"
Alexei grinned, his eyes closed, mouthing out the exact same phrase in unison with the teacher. His "pack" snickered behind him, nine boys and girls all dressed in dark clothes with varying levels of oddity. They were a small part of the senior class at Liberty High, and had the reputation as dangerous, rebellious punks. They embraced the title, knowing how true it was. They were Lycans. Shape shifters. Werewolves. They all meant the same thing. When they were young, around fifteen, they would have had their first shift. They would turn into Dire Wolves, about twice as large as your normal gray wolf.  During their first transformation, they would be guided to an alpha who would help them transition to the new life, teaching them how to shift at will and how to survive. In this case, Alexei was the alpha and this was his territory.
Alexei stood at exactly six feet tall, was light skinned and was built like an animal, lean and muscular. His straight hair was jet black and ended in a flurry of blood red tips that lay hidden under a heavy black jacket and a hood lined with white fur. Alexei generally kept his eyes closed unless he was angry or upset, using his enhanced hearing and smell to navigate. "Hunter, eyes forward!" Alexei turned his head slightly to the left, where Hunter sat, or rather slept. Alexei heard his pack mate wake up in a daze and groan.
"What? I'm still in class? Man this *****." His green hair bounced in front of his eyes, tickling his nose and making him sneeze.
Alexei grinned, flashing his long canines and the rest of the Pack laughed quietly amongst themselves. "Alexei... would you mind keeping your cronies under control, please?" He opened his eyes slightly, their golden glow piercing the darkness of the hood like slivers of fire. The pack immediately went silent.
"Why of course, professor. We wouldn't want to disturb the lecture now would we?" His powerful voice dripped acidic sarcasm, laced with a deadly seriousness. "Right guys?" The question hung dead I'm the air for a few heartbeats. When no response came, he turned his head sharply, his piercing eyes fully open. "Right?!" His voice boomed throughout the room and a collection of nervous, 'yes sir, yes alpha' rang out quietly. He closed his eyes again and said, "All yours, professor."
Just bear with it guys, it’s the last class of the day. He heard another person's voice flutter into his thoughts.
But, alpha, it was Leiks, one of the betas. It’s snowing... we want to go out.
He growled slightly, And you think I don't? You know how this works, Leiks. He heard her whimper slightly in submission, backing out of his thoughts. She fidgeted in her seat in the back row, looking out the window at the puffy white flakes cascading down around the school. Her blonde hair ended in purple curls that bounced around her chest. She was shorter, around five foot four inches tall, and was one of the three betas in Alexei's pack. The other two were the twins, Ruby and Sapphire, whose hair was black and ended in red and blue respectively. They rarely spoke to others out loud, keeping their thoughts to themselves. The other four were all deltas or omegas.
Alexei caught a hint of something in the air, it smelled like a sweet musk mixed with crisp apples. The smell sent a tingle up and down his spine for a few moments before settling. He growled softly in his throat, grinning.
Smell something, alpha?, whispered Leiks.
Yeah... maybe. He grinned and felt warm all over, however more impatient to get outside.
Professor Thompson continued with his lecture on mythology, talking about the classic horror creatures like vampires and werewolves. He focused awfully ******* the latter, going on and on about lycanthropy and the horrible nature of werewolves.
Alexei bared his fangs in a silent growl, gripping the edge of his desk hard enough to make it creak in dismay. What does he know.... he hasn't been through it.... he hasn't seen his friends die in front of him.  An image flashed before his eyes of a bloodied white wolf lying before him, whimpering helplessly as its crimson blood steamed against the snow. His anger lasted only a second before a hand tenderly gripped his shoulder. His eyes flashed open and he gasped slightly. He snapped his gaze over his shoulder at the pack, their eyes wide and locked on him, emanating dread. The hand belonged to Flora, the youngest member of the pack at 17. Her bright blue eyes were full of innocent fear as she looked at her enraged alpha. He nodded and she let go of his shoulder. Her hoodie shadowed her snow white hair as she hid back in her seat. Alexei turned and shut his eyes again, his good mood soured for now. He took a deep breath and sighed, wishing for that scent again. Five more minutes...
Those five minutes drug on like a glacier, the professor's words trailing off into the distance as he switched topics. Can he go any slower?
Don't jinx us, alpha, sir. came Flora's response.
You don't have to call me sir, Flora. We're a family. The wolves stayed silent for the rest of the class, listening halfheartedly to the professor.
"As you all know, this is the last day of school until January. I hope you all have some plans, some family to go see." He paused for a moment and then: "Never. Ever. Forget. There is a grain of truth in every myth." The professor was looking directly at Alexei, who cringed slightly. The bell finally rang, and Alexei was the first one out, quickly followed by the scrambling pack. They wound through hallways and double doors until they felt the tingle of cold touch their skin. They trailed along behind their leader and burst out the doors, welcoming the frigid air and the soft snowfall they had waited all year for. They hooted and howled giddily, their faces covered in goofy grins and awestruck eyes as they pushed past Alexei and dove into the snow with the other students. Alexei stood there, looking for what he had smelled earlier, for him it was more important than the snow. He scanned the horizon, eyes open wide and searching relentlessly. After a moment, he saw his target, leaning against a tree on the far end of the schoolyard, her fiery hair waving gracefully in the wind. "Eve."
She winked at him and gestured to her right, where an open forest lay uninhabited. He nodded slightly and made his way down the steps, his heart pounding harder and harder in his chest.
I'll be back soon... Leiks you're in charge.
You okay, alpha, sir? Flora always worried for her alpha.
Yeah, I just need a walk is all.
But... Leiks put a hand on Flora's shoulder and shook her head. Alexei walked to the edge of the schoolyard and saw that Eve was already in the woods. Glancing back at the pack, he grinned like a Cheshire cat and chased after her.
They wound through the trees, picking up speed and tossing their heavy jackets away. Come catch me, big boy. she taunted.
I intend to. He watched her every graceful move, following relentlessly until he had her. He wrapped his arms around her in a tackle and they rolled, laughing all the while until they came to a halt. Alexei was on top of Eve, straddling her legs and breathing heavily with her. She closed her eyes and grinned wide, her chest heaving. The air was freezing cold but they couldn't feel it as he leaned in and kissed her deeply, entwining his fingers into her hair. She kissed back, biting his lip in the way she knew would make him weak. She felt his muscles quiver and she took the opportunity to push him onto his back and claim dominance over him by straddling him. She smelled amazing, the musk of her animal side mixed with her perfume drove Alexei crazy.
He slid his hand under her shirt and felt the curves of her slender body press against him as she gasped. She pulled away from the kiss, a grin on her face, "Not yet, ***. There's time for that later."
"I've missed you, kitten."
She growled softly, "you best stop that while you're ahead, sweetheart." She grinned wider and kneaded her claws into his chest. Alexei called her 'kitten' because of her fondness towards cats, specifically kittens. Many of her mannerisms also had a feline quality about them.
"Are the others here too?" He pushed her up off of him and stood up himself, closing his eyes in the process. The others were Eve's friends who had left with her a year ago.
"Mmmhmm. They got here shortly before I did. They're already at the hideout."
Alexei nodded, "We'll be there shortly. Do you want to come with us for the time being?" They began walking back to the schoolyard, grabbing their jackets on the way.
She giggled, "I suppose I should, so they can get used to having two alphas around." Her eyes twinkled as she said it.
Alexei grinned, "I thought graduation wasn't for another year! Congratulations!"
"They pushed it up since I've been moving up so fast." Eve had gone to a Lycan Academy farther north, in Canada. There, wolves would be trained to become better leaders or soldiers, depending on their rank. Eve had shown great promise immediately and was put into higher groups and classes.
The schoolyard soon came into view, and Alexei's pack was still playing in the snow, throwing snowballs and just rolling around in the stuff among the other high schoolers. He whistled a little tune and each of the pack members looked directly at him, going wide eyed when they saw Eve. They rushed over as fast as they could and tackled her with hugs. "You're back!"
Eve struggled to get up as a dog pile ensued. Alexei's wild laugh mixed with the cacophony of greetings as Eve squirmed out. Flora stood behind Alexei, this new person's presence terrifying to her. As the pack got untangled from each other, Eve walked up to Alexei and Flora, who hid behind him like a cowering pup. Eve looked at her, "Hey. I'm Eve, me and Alexei are old friends."
Flora whimpered quietly but peeked out enough so she could get a good look at Eve. Alexei turned to the pack, saying, "We're going back to the hideout. There's some old friends waiting there for us."

Chapter 2
The pack carried on as usual, sauntering on down the sidewalk leading further into the woods with Eve, Alexei and Flora following close behind. Flora shadowed her alpha constantly, being the only Lycan she fully trusted.
"How old is she?" Asked Eve.
"I'm seventeen. This is my first year as-..." she trailed off, still unsure of herself.
"As a Lycan?" Flora nodded softly.
"You know about us?" Asked Flora, bewildered.
Eve giggled a little, letting  get a good look at her canines, which extended down to her lower teeth. "I'm one of you."
Flora looked at her, confused. "But you don't smell like them. You smell different."
Eve glanced at Alexei, who was still strolling alongside them with his eyes closed as usual. "You can tell her, Kitten." In retaliation, Eve punched him in the shoulder with a loud thud that would have left any normal person writhing in pain, but Alexei just shrugged it off. He's definitely a lot stronger than I remember.
She turned to Flora, "I'm an alpha. Like Alexei. Each alpha has a different scent."
Flora gazed at her with newfound wonder and fear. Eve saw this and said, "Don't worry, Flora. I only bite my prey. You're not prey, are you?"
Flora grinned a little, "Of course not.” They had reached a little clearing with ten trees aligned in a perfect circle around a massive evergreen that towered roughly sixty feet tall, casting a massive shadow underneath it. The pack had named it the Forever Tree, with its many years to come. At the base of the ten trees were empty backpacks covered in snow, each one a different style and color. The pack gathered under the Forever Tree and looked at Alexei with a certain desire clear on their faces.
Alexei grinned and said, "Go wild, guys."
"Finally!" The pack began to transform, fur popping out of their skin in a wave of softness, their faces elongating into muzzles and their fangs revealing themselves in their entirety. Their majestic tails struggled to get free from the jackets and pants that surrounded the wolves. They shook the clothes from their bodies, piling them up in individual piles before taking them to the backpacks under the trees. Each one expertly placed their clothes into the bag and then sat patiently next to their trees as the two alphas and Flora watched. Once each wolf was finished, Alexei whistled sharply and they grabbed their bags by the carry handle and formed a line in front of him. Alexei had modified each bag to fit as a harness around the wolves, making the transport that much easier. He helped each one of his pack mates with their bag and they in turn took shelter under the Forever tree. Once everyone was there, Alexei waved them off and they took off into the woods.
"Flora, grab your bag so it doesn't get lost out here."
"Yes, alpha, sir." She ran to grab her bag from the last tree. Alexei and Eve casually followed, "You don't have to call me sir, Flora. Remember? We're a family."
They followed the paw prints in the snow up a winding path which led to an old cabin, seemingly forgotten out here. The smell of wolf musk was heavy in the air as they approached. The cabin rested on the top of a tall hill, with a winding staircase leading up to the wraparound porch and the two story cabin itself. All the wolves were waiting, already mingled in with each other on the porch. Eve's pack was roughly five wolves, mostly female. As all wolves find out eventually, whatever modifications they do to their human body, such as tattoos or hair dyes, crosses over to their wolf body. Some used this trick as a way to make themselves unique, or to show a pack allegiance. Alexei's pack was unique in their markings, each one having their hair dyed and having a wolf paw surrounded by a crescent moon. Eve's pack was similar, though theirs was a long fang piercing a heart.
As they got closer, Eve's wolves began to bark happily, welcoming their alphas. Eve's betas were waiting at the base of the stairs, three grey females named Ginger, Lexi, and Anna.
Alex! We're so happy to see you! called Anna, one of Alexei's oldest friends.
"I've missed you guys too, you didn't have to wait down here for us, you know. Go on and say hi to the others." He scratched each of them behind the ears and they ran up the stairs happily. "Flora, you can wolf out now, I'll take care of your stuff."
She looked gratefully at her alpha and shifted into her wolf form, a sleek white, unmarked unlike the others. She ran up the stairs as Alexei gathered her clothes into the bag. Eve took his hand once he'd finished and they walked up the stairs together, joining the wolves on the porch.
Alexei unlocked the front door and let the wolves into the spacious interior, with a mix of dog beds and couches in the main living area surrounding a large television. The kitchen had been recently stocked by Alexei, the freezer full of uncooked meats of all kinds. Alexei's wolves all gripped the release clip on their harnesses with their teeth and let their bags fall to their side, lining them against the wall near the door. Eve watched this unfold as her own pack dragged in their own heavy bags from outside, bulky and awkward to carry in wolf form.
"I see you've been busy, Alex."
"I have extras in the storage room upstairs, if you guys are interested." Her wolves whimpered pleadingly in response, the last one pulling the door closed behind her with a leather strap hanging from the handle. Alexei shrugged off his heavy fur cloak and hung it next to the door.
Alexei turned to Leiks, who was halfway up the stairs already. "You know where they are right?" The white wolf nodded, her necklaces clinking slightly as she padded up the stairs. Everyone began settling down onto the couches and beds and Leiks came back down with five bags for Eve's wolves. She set them near the doorway, in case they needed to le

I was with the ocean last night and your body
Was its vessel, overflowing.  Words were frail,
Drops indwelling about the shapeless sky,
Water reaching for its own height and breath,
Like touch, were as desperate letters exchanged,
Endlessly read, until like loamy vellums, they
Disappeared in our hands.  Inklings of tide-
Pool and driftwood.

                               My blood was a river that ran
Its course.  Members feeding your deltas and birds
Breeding where the water-russet sheds on pampas
And inverness.  Eyes like wing through ever—
Green, empties the fossil shell.  Fire, brimming
Mountaintops that were, for countless millennia,
Sleeping.  Did I mention that the earth moved?
No?  Her displacement was involuntary.

Then came the waterfalls, lifting throughout
Time.  The scent, searching for its identity,
The wave, calling to its own name— Ocean,
O— cean.  And flowers, opening like galaxies
In the after-light.  A universe of face and hand
With hunger for salt-rain and then the cloud
Burst-blue and spilt and spun more redolent,
Deities, in joyous creation.

I breathe, in your ocean, like a child unborn.

Deep in the shines
Of cobalt blinding suns,
A cold traveler is bound, lost,
With only pointed starry night
As print to slow circumnavigations
Of her ****** heavens, visions scope,
Cardinal points are ever reaching
Towards ancient regions of nether,
Pharohs deltas, negations and delight.
Twin stars searing, burning, burst—
And in the exploding nebulas of iris,
Celestial oceans of aquas rise, cries—
Eternal blue laid of cerulean skies
Outreach and reel, lot vacuums vast
To outer lands, riding stars chariot,
With such spacial years of light,
Only in eyes of her.