you've been so careful to handle me
with precision to the point of omission
a delicate disregard for my existence
retreated when faced with resistance
your persistence was consistent
that our love would go the distance
but I wasn't heard or understood
caught up in a life of could and should
never thinking of what I wanted
what I had been wanting all this time
and it's daunting and exhausting
to know you didn't see me
but the key to unlock the person I am
has felt crammed in this sham
of fragility fragmented to falter
I am not made for you, I want to scream
complacent in your life as a team
in between this bad dream
of ruined self-esteem, I miss
the spark of connection with lovers
feeling affection under the covers
kisses that feel like fire with desire
burning through my entire being
so break what you're protecting
stop deflecting and objecting
time to stop redirecting my reflecting
and start reconnecting with yourself

there is no where to hide when
under pale moon light

and when rolling in the deep
there are no lies, no falsities

for you can see right through me,
and I through you

like a kitten with a spool of thread
you spark my heart evermore

with your little quirks, and comments,
your opinions, and open ended topics

oh and yet, you're a marvelously beautiful creature,
with your flawless curvatures, and features

you're darling, just darling
all the way around, inside and out

and when laying next to you,
as you run your fingers through my hair

not a single worry bothers my pretty little head,
not a single care

oh, so long as you're there...

Am I
avoiding you
I don't know where you are
now I'm lost
in lost beliefs
It's hurting me too
are you trying to reach me
too far away
wandering
searching for someone
the same
It doesn't feel okay
read about an order
feels so wrong
I'm avoiding you
I don't know what to say
I always disappoint
draw the line
I'm no better alone
waiting for you to hold my hand
when I fall asleep

it may seem
overdone
to write about love

but once you have it
it is impossible
not to want to share.

love is a cookie sample
at a grocery store
unexpected and surprisingly delicious.

love is a street dog
fed better than its owner
scruffy and fearless and full of hope.

love is what you thought you lost
but like a lucky penny
tends to appear on its own.

slowly
surely
quickly

i am falling
but it is the most glorious fall
in my life

and when i hit the ground
the asphalt will taste just as sweet
as the descent.

it may be overdone to write about love
but i couldn't care less today.
you are worth all my words.

There are days
I want to kiss the wind

kiss kiss

I'm insane
you love me the same way
I use to love myself
back in the old days

I see your shadow
coming inside my room

I love you too

I love you too
even if all I do
is smell
smoke inside my room
because of you

I want to kiss the wind

marry a rose
live inside a red vase

You're beautiful
I'm insane

I love you too

His eyes cloudy grey
Storms clouds once, tired now
Breathes like sand bags
Heavy and damp
Slowly holding in a flood
Ragdoll in the wind
He falls, limp and lost
I hold- til sleep

It taunts us
It frightens us
Like darkness in day
Like shadows that slay
Swells of the ocean
Swells of a black potion
A true death
A true last breath
Murdered by aspiration
Murdered by suffocation
Your own creation
Your own demolition
Screaming loud to be heard
Screaming undeterred
There is a ray of light
There is sun in sight
Air is on the way
Air without delay
More than a word
More than what’s heard
Keep up the fight
Keep away fright
Shove darkness away
Shove death to obey
Breathe and climb up
Breathe to fill your cup
Joy is what we need
Joy will get us freed
Come on now
Come and bow
Only to the light
Only a continued fight
For it taunts us
For it frightens us
Don’t give up
Don’t give up
See the joy ahead
See it and darkness shed

"I can see my door, my bed, my window, my chair, and my table.

"I can feel my spine against the wall, my feet against the floor, my jaw tightly shut, and my fingernails buried in my arms.

"I can hear the wind coming in from the open window, my heartbeat rapidly thumping, and that familiar voice in my head, shouting once again.

"I can smell the dampness of the ground outside as the breeze carries it to my room, and the sickly sweet odor from the soap used on my hands.

"I can ******* blood spilling from the bite in my lip; my last harsh reminder that
        I
        am      
        still
        alive.

The most intimate
Thing I have ever felt was
The sharing of prayers.

The happiness and well being
Of each other  a common
Wish between us.

I've never felt
So close to you my
Dear one.