I never knew that I could feel
desirable, beautiful, and strong
because I've always been told
the way that I look is all wrong.
I am a large woman,
so I must not be appealing,
I have been cruelly brainwashed
into shamefully concealing
my body and even my mind
all because I was assured
that love, I would never find.

Suddenly my world has opened
and slowly my confidence has grown
all because he came into my life
and called me his very own.
I am now certain of my beauty
though it is a tragedy that I could only see
after he entered my life
and declared that he truly wanted me.
I look back in utter disgust
that I didn't see it long before
a man showed me my worth
by gracing my bedroom door.

I am an ant
on a straw
in the middle of wild sea
and you are my straw,
my last straw
a wave so large
took you away
I am drowning now
would you ever come back
to save me
In this lone, wild sea
I know I can't find you
but these waves give me hope
that you will be back,
our paths will cross
and you will save me
one day

Walls.
Build them up.
Break them down.
Build them taller.

Every word, every whipser
Is either adding a brick
Or taking one away.
But never staying the same.

You broke it all down
And I threw away the bricks.
I didn’t know that I should have saved
At least one.

You came in and looked around
I let you move right into
Every corner that used to be guarded
By the walls i put up.

Slowly, I forgot where i even put my bricks.
I wouldn’t need them anyways.
You took them all away,
But i didnt know you would steal them.

You lit the bricks on fire,
And you burned the house down.
See, you still had your bricks up
And built more with mine that you stole.

I am left brickless.
Its almost like im homeless.
Everything is out,
Nothing is protected.

But you.
You are walls that are miles high.
I can see the bricks you stole from me
Scattered about your walls.

But while im laying on the ground
That is the only thing left after the fire
I look around and notice,
There is sunlight.

No walls are up,
And the mind is shattered.
But while yours is built up and safe,
Mine, has the sun.

Sometimes i remember
The nights of alone
Not laying in bed just by myself
But truly, completely, alone.

Its dark outside
But that doesnt compare
To how dark it is inside
This house of flesh.

Skin, bones, muscle
I learn every day about them,
How they move, how they express
But not how they love.

Isnt it crazy
We use these parts to love
But these parts alone arent anything
Other than bodies just touching bodies.

What about thoughts?
Are thoughts love?
A human brain has thoughts
From the time its born to death.

When do we formulate thoughts of love.
To our mom when she nurses?
Or our dad when he checks for monsters?
Dolls, toys, trucks, when is there love?

But the soul is different.
There is no soul scan
Or soul therapy.
It just, is.

Its alive without being woken up
Its there when everything is broken
But what is it filled with?
Spirit, passion, love.

It is not in our bodies to love
It is not in our brains to love
It is in our soul
Our third part.

Maybe that is whats missing.
I forgot to feed you.
Youre withering away
Like anything would.

A body without food is broken
A brain without books is empty
And a soul without nuture,
What happens then?

Broken. Empty. Death.
A soul without nurture is dead.
Nothing happens without a soul.
No life, no love, no awakening.

Was my soul here from the beginning?
Is there a start and end to you?
There is to my body and my brain
But what about you?