I want to opt out
No one knows this because no one understands this.
This is not a suicide note
I've been there before

This is different.
I want to just opt out of the simulation
Exit the program.
Deactivate.

I can't,
Wouldn't?
Shouldn't!
****.

You can count on me to always know,
The beauty and purpose you cannot show.
Whenever you feel yourself going down,
I’ll be right around to fix your frown.

When the weight of the world is on your back;
I won’t be the one to let you crack.
The way your eyes close when you smile;
It lets me know, we’ll be here for a while.

Your presence in my life,
is worth so much more,
than what I’ve ever told you before.
The sparkle in your eye, you’ve never told a lie;
As long as you’re my friend, I’ll never let you see the end.

Something must be done,
So that justice can be won.
No more insensitive remarks;
Or fire starting sparks,
Of the hate from so many,
That wears us down like an old penny.

It seems that so little, so few,
Can actually see through,
The transparent glass,
That seemingly separate our class;
“All for one and one for all,”
A neglected rule that sadly is our downfall.

We must band together,
It doesn't matter whether
You know them or not,
Save one another, cover your blind spot.
We’re all brothers and sisters,
Not your personal battle enlisters.

Work together, never against,
It’s the reason why we’re always so tensed.
No one to brace our fall,
Someone who only makes us feel small.
No one to help when we bleed,
Be the selfless hero we all need.

I wonder why some feel the need to
Belittle and overdo
Stray from Racism, sexism, anti-semitism,
And bring love, hope, and activism.
If you practice what you preach,
Maybe hatred can be just a figure of speech.

Keep your friends close and enemies closer, they say,
But that’s deceit in a simpler way.
Don’t tear another down
Never let them drown
No, instead we must build up,
Praise and makeup.


Don’t complain or whine
Leave indifference on the line
If total equality is what you seek,
You must be ready to speak.
Speak out against the hate,
But only some await.

An open state of mind
Sadly so many have become disinclined.
I question as to why,
The tree of kindness is running dry.
Through thick and thin,
That’s how it should have always been.

If effort is what you require,
Why do we all wait until it becomes dire?
Few of us care about the wellbeing of our peers
Maybe in fear of the comments and jeers.
That is the precise reason why we need this!
It’s a shame some would rather stay and reminisce.

An Endless, brainless, aimless, way
To be stuck in the so-called “ good old day”
The future is now, the time is here,
Where everyone is new, and all can cheer.
Erase the bad times, but do leave time to renew,
Because in the end, we’re all just humans too.

There are changes to be made,
No reason to be afraid.
Love thy neighbor and it will be okay,
Not just tomorrow, until your very last day.
Something must be done,
So that justice can be won.

We use to talk about this day,
the last time was five years ago.
You told me on the phone at 2
in the morning you were going
to chase that Californian sun.
You told me you were going to
chase something different, try
to be someone new, but back then
you wanted me to come with you.

Our infinitely epic two a.m. calls,
where our voices blended together
created a world only we could see.
We made a world fit for the two
Of us, and how we stood out from
The crowd.

I talked about the beach,
My bare toes in the sand,
Walking on the shore line,
With seashells in my hands.
I’d let my hair blow in the wind,
And my smile would be genuine,
I’d look up at the sky and watch the
Clouds roll by.

You talked about just sitting on the sand,
Watching me smile, as I picked up sea-
Shells in my hands.
You said you’d bring a camera,
So you could have that moment forever,
That my feet first touched the sand.
“ nothing could be more beautiful,
Then your smile in California,
Runaway with me.”

But that was five years ago.
So much has changed.
You’re in California,
Your toes are in the sand,
You get to watch the tide come and go,
You have seashells on your nightstand.

All that was brought to life,
Between you and me,
Will only ever be a bedtime story,
About my past history.

And our two a.m. calls are a part of the past.
I only ever dream about you and California,
On days like this I miss the simplicity of our,
History, our friendship and for a fleeting moment,
Our love.

But we’ll forever be each other’s long distance call.

my scars own me
deep and dark
building bridges
     future
        present
            past

my thoughts haunt me
spreading doubt
shovelling ditches
     pull
        us
           out

awkward silence
uneasiness in the dead quiet
tension fills the room
stale air
no escaping

My skin dreads your fingertips ghosting over it
Whispering lullabies from the distant shore
My lips dread your pair that trail butterfly kisses to the juncture of my jaw
My ears dread the dulcet tunes murmured from your pillow lips
That caresses the inner workings of my heart with bonafide admiration

My heart—the one you have—is the only one that adores every little gesture you make
Every slight remark
Every subtle action

But the rest of me does not want you
Because as much as I adore you
I cannot picture us together
Without the image shattering again.

I will sing of my compassion
On a stage that I once owned
Where the spotlight once shone
Where our love was dethroned
And if you forget
if you dreadfully neglect
How your heart was once
In the comfort of my arms
At least through my song
Though it would take long
Look back at my eyes and see
That once, you loved me.