I've quit the killing-
another addiction
my convictions
are open bare.

forgetting what its like,
to deal with stress and the like
without nicotines merciful smile

perfect timing i would say
now that math makes up my days
and work the latter of my nights

i've no form for this urge
that pulls inside
rung out like a sponge
wanting water.

elixir of toxins
heath risks
and iron lungs
chained and yet
so free.

how long can i resist your cough?

Your love binds me
like the ocean,
in its depth of
endless understanding.

Your waters
draw me back
in the tide,
hands clasped
in sleepless memories.

Your shores are
   never ending
I am beached
as a whale-soul
in wander.

Deep blue
I'm lost in you
crashing over me.

i choked in the night as the darkness tide
washes over me
a shadow grown cold without the sun to fade
a drop of liquid onyx.

in this dream within a dream
i woke to black and white

the part of me that makes me free
slipped away into the dust

my thoughts are half empty
searching
for your light
my heart is not beating
hurting
when your gone.

I am empty
I am empty
I am thirsty

for your love.

a giant's eye
the sky
a fingerprint
in time
a pale blue dot
in view
part of God
and You.

out of the silent planet
Oyarsa cries,
you are mine.

Anthropogenic climate change
Nuclear fallout Chernobyl  
Raptors flourish
And wolves
Dwell
Sleeping.

Catfish swimming
In a cooling eye
Grown old and untouchable
By mans wills.

Rusty ships
Wetlands
Roam free.

Storks in their nests
1875
The cheval de prjevalski
Dye without mercy

The fallout from time
A call to restore
A broken land.

The wolves cry
The wolves cry

I can feel you rotting inside my teeth
Breaking my bite and clenched smile
You’ve stayed too long inside
A clean mouth

Spitting you out
Washing it in

My pockets are lined with paper
My finger holds the stone
That knows me better than
Better than my
Silver bone

i celebrate the hallowness of my traveled bliss
why not take hold on science or the linch?

i lost the bet.
believe it or not.

what a day
spinning out into you
gracefully

going all the way
in the heat

i am older
day to day

stilling. falling back
to a wasteful way

plucked raw
round a sound
of destiny,

getting lost
taken now
what will
what will be.

out within Jupiter's moon.

hush.

this is not your fight.

get excited.

I loved you the same place we started out.

the winter has shed tears for the year, seeding ambition in soil.
my daffodils remember to spring. folding inside a
hot bed of bacteria.

i turn and bend in tuned to chronic aches.
each twist in the tree around time
caught a glimpse
of lighting showers.  

this garden is filled with dead leaves.

the first bloom of heat.
sparks, a summer fire.

Your face shades a thought so welcome
In social networking sheets
That cross an elephant's mind.

Your smile stitched by genes
I ripped with my own teeth
The genuine stretching girth
Is all but ours.

We inhabit different worlds
Folding a path of certain progress,
A line to maturity.

What was it grandmother use to say
In her class and old ways
That we hold in every sentence
We speak in every thought.

How odd the dynasty fades
And family remains.
Words are my art.

What is it to be righteous? To walk in godliness and purity? To hold the heart of God like the bride?
I'll admit I've felt complacent, disbelief, and traitorous. My own efforts alone have not filled my cup. But as I've fallen, as I've grown in mercy and understanding.
I recognize the shell of this existence. The temporal wasting of my eyes. I feel my lovers heart and still I want more. Not from selfish desire but because I've felt the inner working of the spirit!
The everlasting father. The bridegrooms love. And the Kings will for my life. After that, there is emptiness. A quaint shadow in the smile of beauty and passion.
All this rest inside my brain, my reasoning mind ticks with thoughtfulness. Reaching with my words to the universal will untouchable. Touchable. Touch me.
Show me. Move in me. Speak to me in my heart. God I want to know that love again. The infinity of your fire burning away my sin.

And it's odd, as I pull my bible out of its cold box. Plastered to Fear And loathing in Las Vegas. I guess I am afraid of what I'll learn. I can't keep ignoring this turbulent hope. But the promise that you are always with me. Gives me strength.

Here we go on another roll
Through the past the present
The new year

Watching xena play and the
Red firerocks blaze
While love ones rock the Mississippi.

And darling friends smoke
The marajuana and send
Their love into the future.

We'll time it bends
and wraps Us in its
Day it's night it's eather.

Let's be ourselves
Protect the will
To make dreams
become tomorrow.

You kindle the skin and start to rot
Inside your desperate fumes.
You cut a path onto the wrist to
bleed out the noose.
It doesn't mend a broken frame
Like the artists hand.
Never making work the love
That heals the hurt within.
Indeed, release from apathy
Comes sweet the morning dew.
But the pain it brings torrents
A rain that drowns the heart of you.

It is. Obsession
With destruction
It is. Denial
Of the truth
It is. Death
Chasing after you.

Be it. Unfaithful
The promise made
Be it. Hatred
Of who you are

It is not. The end
You are not dead
It is not. Worthy
To make amends

The coin. Rattling
Inside your head
The coin. Fiend
And deceitful friend

Will not stop.
Using you
Will not stop.
Fooling you
Will not stop.
Abusing you

Until your dead

And I love you
We love you
God loves you

So forget the numb
Feel the world
And it's misery
Feel the life
And all it's blessings.

Because I've made
the same mistakes
And now I'm so
Much more

Because of the choices I've made
And let me tell you coin is not the way.

exposition of my position
connecting epic art of
scifi legend extraordinare
frank franzetta.

from my back to distant Barsoom
A princess of Mars is my captive muse
to a story of a pale blue dot.

where an archer's bow points
her lady-ship has no censorship
unbiased in crowded eyes.

blinking aeons of information
torching elemental tables
undisguised for public record.  

unforgettable this ticking thought of self
Converging lines and tectonic season
Moving over earth with pilgrim miles.

What the hello!
Columbia coffee------------- makes my head spin
                              Out of              my mind
My stomach sick
My cheeks chewe(d)
Like Ice
been ****** up  up  up
into a Splenda brew
                 Pinched straw
                    my nerves
                       a mess

birthday *** comes once a year,
both are feet mismatched and
the embrace fits well--
With ankled earrings.

winter has froze us in.

The grocery crammed survivors
Of comfort --as if it were Black Friday.
Honey ham, French bread, shredded cheese.
Another white out-- a piece of cake.

By the time we climb out of bed
It will be spring, and there's nothing to eat.

strange day in the mile race
to fade into the headlights and cold blue
all my life I've been waiting on a line
to guide my path
defining the night

others have gone now
seats hollow at dinner tables
and New souls take hold
of my love strongly.

what a ride in the drivers mind
traveling back to the other half
crossing dying mountains once again.

The arrow does not quiver,
pulled from tongue to articulate
language from the heart;
Glowing red ash of comet dust,
fills pointed Orion's arch.

Scorched cigarette  eyes that
burned only for astronomic
Recognition,
mapping a planets line in black.

Pick pocketed mind--
Struck out a balanced path
Of magnetic luck drawn,
Invisible moment poised for action;
A bow and target thought.

photogenic smiles and true to the few
we take the flashing light and run with it.
pinned up in time and backed up hard drives
remember us when were gone.

repressed and tied too this one life
always reaching for visibility
to give a life worth feeling
in a single frame.

what every second means to the hand
holding moments temporal.
hold, laugh, smile.

camera cued and magic fuse
superstitious  and wild,
hung with glowing eyes.

I envy modern arts
****** pigmented *******.

Watching blue waves of smoke roll off the heaters  blow
As I kiss you with my stale beer breath.

We are humans. Hydrogen and bonded.

By each moment.

Even as I chase you down for one last cigarette,
Vietnam is running out.

The taste is bitter the luck grows thinner, and doubt fills every pore.
Am I to bold to fear the adventures you seek
Outside of gas and heat.

Be wise be free be wild be Natalie.
I know dear friend, I'll see you again.

Revised...

:) you sneaky little *****.

Oh Natalie, where did you go!
Over the fence under the road?
You make my heart sick
And my voice numb.

The November wind blows cold
Sweet girl
When will you come home?

And now I smoke vinataba
from Vietnam.

they burned acts 21 just to feel closer to enlightenment,
they danced on rooftops so they could feel the light of stars,
if only though a telescope.

at the moment of lost translation there is no hope for
western civilization.

and here i gather my sandwich in deep thought.

its raining
I kicked a hole in the wall
imprinteing my madness
like a urge.
lost my job today
but
at least I have a hero.
who took all my tears
frustration and fears
and threw them out
like salty fries.
at my bosses car, and the parking lot.
he covered me with his tin foil hat
as courage turned from pain.

god I love Mondays

Around the coals we gather to warm are tired souls
Brothers singing of all life's woes
And dear old sawyer and his lady go on their way
Towards the west and memory lane.
I bid adieu to these travelers and the heated night
One day we will find peace in our drunken blight
To the poet and their thoughtful muse
To the guitarist and their twanging tune
To the smoker with a hazy mind
And the couple rekindled in Octobers fire.

I shake the world from my feet
***** and unholy
Bring forth a new start

Stepping towards the mark
Lifted from trails
Blown through the altitude.

Blessed by love and torn from death
To gather hope ill be in your heart

When the day grows dark
The light shines on
My stride is stronge
My smile rung

But I'll keep on keeping on

I sit outside with cold thoughts wrapped in my hair
as voices carry to my ears, numb from information.
people laugh through window cracks and heat evaporates the door locks. breathing in each quiet moment. my hands carry a weight of words my lips kissing silent air. I am alone with a stale buzz.

good night poets.

Day off again
Time to read a book or
Flip through story book page
As I
grasp Promethia
And
Take the stage
                 While You
uplift a thought to
the whale dream.

Native tongue
My craving.

I discovered I cried at night
With you laying next to me. My pillow wet and cold.
Staring. At your shoulder.
Beckoning to hold a piece of me.

The heat from your body burned
My light leaves,
And I shiver as you wake.

Speaking through a dream.
Wish I could sleep.

i know i don't really want to live on my own
such a drag to be honest.
this thing we are doing feels so wrong
******* my mind and left bruised inside.
as if i'm still apart of you
pretending we are together.
impossible.

but still i want you.
still i contend to offend our sacred hearts
as if they were art.

what happened to Nonpareil of Favor?

it's simple, i cheated myself to absolute affection. To the direction of love and being the object of the lesson hurts the mutual party, he said, "i must think about things," and even then i was loosing to my silence with distaste, with shame. Shame the subject of friction rubbed me raw. Made a new fool out of an experience player; who built a house of cards. as if emptying every pore of sweating anticipation, i was ****** dry. lips crushed and chest burned up in a momentary lie. "you are faithful. You are loving, caring, and honest." But i wasn't. How could something so simple be a gamble worth loosing, worth choosing to beat happiness upon? Wrong, misguided, forlorn, and frightened of being alone, the man was making his reasoning. you are a liar, a cheat, and a thief. my heart was yours and here you have given it back to me? what pride what shade that corrupt the sunny day I adored you...wasn't i more to you than a stupid act of satisfaction? so i disperse in temporary madness to think about the sadness growing and folding the lines i tried to speak. with the words i could not reach for an analogy. And yet i am forthcoming. and still i don't know the warnings of a heartless bride.

my lips fill with ash and dead sins of popular voice.
sunk forward by shredded noise and spin
further into a stale wine.

caught tongue in cheek and words to speak
a cup of your liking.
was it a just a minor sapling to ignore?

oh ghostly tidings,
i found the lark falling into blackness.
mirrored sightings of maddening spores,
the fall full of darling ******.

inviting and pleading a forward sound of feeling
that no longer could ignore.

the chance of silence to be explored.

i told myself that you would come back around
towards my little town.
i told myself that you'd be there
when i needed the lightning.
even now the taste is bitter of folly and lore,
and i can't take it any more.
another wave crashed over you in a cold daze
and i know it pulled you further out to sea,
but i still love your melody.
hallucinating on a bleak "oh well"
        of lingering spells.

and i still love you're memory.

it seemed so long ago i felt the breeze of the wind
cold and unfeeling
that i forgot the wretchedness of longing.

it called out to me in a bleak fall night
begging to be a perfect song,
even as i barely hit the chorus.

to be a thing of solidarity was only a dream
unfailing in its despair and blurred haze.

travelling for so long a chest ways heavy
****** and bare towards lighter fire.

won't you come together and cloth my naked skin?
desperate in her heated gaze,
yet left out in the freezing rain.

liquid courage and muddy feat
track across the unknown sands,
walking towards affinity.

hear the heart beat there isn't much
that can stand the scene,
of life and death and beginnings.

i don't care about material things
like my social stats.
winded up on a nails hinge
threaded by divine design.

everything carries it's weight
in colour.

caught inside agenda and pressured by hysteria
terror catches at throat,
mimicked by an echoed note.

smoked-out-in-columns-of-purgatory,
why is that?

Noise pierced the air and sat at rail-road crossings,
walking back to old fashion--
country inns -out of- a rainstorm's wind.

wandered the point to follow,
the hollow that swallows
tomorrow

and

i saw myself be-musing
way stations
and caught a ticket,
-back-

to apathy.

Do not disturb a father's promise
to a man
three times the size,
of age as tradition requires.

Do not be stunned at a ******'s gold
who seeks
his child ******,
or even a mother's approving eye
to bloodied sheets her shamed pride.

Family honor-must-be- fulfilled.

Yet what duty of cowards can protect a young life?
who shall
spoil the
untouched,
and
naive mind.

And what radical deviant cries that her vows were lies,
a sanctioned marriage under desquise.

To delude the chance of hope--
Najood Ali
made her plea before a
court
of empathy.

"Divorce my torment and misery,
I am not made for property."

Do not force--righteous anger,
                        As a stone disturbs the water.
And so radical is she, that inspired a community,
                      Love is not a dollar.

Deprive one of her scholar
          in place of
                   pre-mature mother,
                          makes not the smiling bride.

And why shall daughters
                 sacrifice
the chance to grow with
                       laughter?
Tis is the world,
                        a male-order.

And so the Islam burns her flesh
                                                           ­  to purify
                           the abused mess
Take away all her
                            unrest,
This flaw a
                                                    human disaster.

Poems are a changing thing and are at worst a dragon.
Come to consume thoughts and drag words like virgins to the stake.
             when I was a witchy thing, black wings spread over in grief.
              I began to breath fire from depths of pain that no longer
              We're hidden- safe.
What a beast! Her eyes hot and tongue sharp and beauty unfolding
With each rip from a torn soul, oh! And to me, the greater the passion
The more a story is told.
              So it seems dark embers stir this creatures heat,
               While thundering for meaning as
               Joy to love, like a monster my dragon was only
               Trained to eat.
Molting form a maidens horror purity was up to fight,
Against the memories and faded- incomplete prose
That only taunted the will to abide.
               Writing only when voice can not answer
                and my heart offends- the more it bends
                To serve the dragon's fire.

Was it the race to be my own entity that launched the first probe?
Curious and wandering what happens to the soul,
Where magic meets reality and the engineer of all things,
Resting at the birth of childhoods end.

With a spaceship ride to heavenly tides towards the event horizon
Born in the skin an astronaut spins deeper into the night,
To find what was and what is and will everything be alright?

Just to sink further in the hope to send
A message to the father.
There's no place like home and in the unknown
Can feel like a memory shattered,
It's a galaxy made of dead star things that build a life of matter.

It could be more than love in a cold night
Always searching for destiny,
Chasing after December.

It could be dark falling asleep
But nothing matches the mystery,
Of dreams and disaster.

Would I know the truth
As a ruse, to excuse
Intensity?

Telling a day to break the light
So sure of being left behind,
The pressure of treasure is
So hard to find.

And so the flow takes the tole
And a mind unfolds,
Within immortal skies.

To each his own,
His curiosity lies.

The paper was a bit shy and ***** from the past few years of neglect, nothing ever grew more alone and distant than the faded words of a poet unfinished.

"The cold light filled the night as a wolf cried out, the moons eye a ghostly dancer."

Now so it seemed such a sad thing that there was never to be an answer; time would be the master and the minutes forebode disaster.

But of course, never the light of day. Stuck forever to twilight haze it filled an eerie air.
I watched from this broken phrase all the while in a poets grave, rotting from abused paper.