Everything is a blur,
My hands are fidgeting in the breeze,
I'm afraid one more touch,
Will quickly drop me to my knees.

My eyes are blocked against my will,
They are heavy, I'm feeling weak,
I'm blind to the future storm,
The day is forsaken and bleak.

Then I feel it start to rain,
My hopes once again begin to shed,
I flail, falling on the ground,
I soon realize it's in my head.

All at once, nothing makes sense,
The edges of actuality smudge,
I breathe, try to clear my mind,
My anxiety won't budge.

I've finally soured into the mess,
I always knew I would become,
I didn't think it would feel like this,
I'm fragile, worthless, and dumb.

Self-doubt invades my thoughts,
I didn't used to be this way,
My defenses tumbled down,
I can't go back to yesterday.

Mistakes are catching up with me,
I run away and hide,
Underneath this illusion,
Is a scared little girl inside.

Can you
See me
Standing here
Quietly and full of fear?

Should I
Disappear
Back to the shadows and back to the fear
Back to the ghost of yesterday?

yesterday my mom told me a secret
that of you starve yourself your mouth will begin to taste sweet
the sweetest taste you may ever experience
but it makes your breath rancid
i don't know if she told me
because she knows i hate bad breath
or because i have a sweet tooth

A cacophony of wasted space in a mind too full to see
boring holes to breathe or vent
or pray that there is no light to be let in

Was never done dying before yesterday moved
tomorrow is last year a lifetime ago
today, erased by was and will

Tears can't dry in incessant floods
bleeding acid that feeds unhealing wounds
in a mix of steroids and parasites

Faced with all that perception ever was
altered reality in crushed emotion
scraping the dregs of feeling to find a place to sleep

Jagged shards of memories offer the most comfort
as they slice what attempted to heal
killing me slowly anew with each passing moment

Moments torn in a million pieces of equal pain
encased in cemented ideals and rosy falsehoods
yesterday is the only reality left

Outside a clenched fist holding onto nothing
blood crusts in black paint
open or closed, there's nothing left to see

Longing to bleed out through the ****** of dreams
left to die in a place that packs holes with dirt
enough to exist in an invisible life

Killing the long ago before it finishes what it started
seems its own nightmare of weakness
will it alive or will it dead, just will something and make it so

A lifetime of dying in a half-life of truth
gray eats black as anguish feeds on beauty
nothing remains in untouched memories

The hearts of their old souls beat fast
His breath taken from him.
An optical illusion to some eyes
yet simple to mine.
         She dances in the moonlight rays,
        He prays to see her again someday.
        She dances her way off the stage;
        into the dark abyss.
He cries at the thought of seeing her again,
Forever wishing to have just one last glimpse one last kiss again.
He cries and weeps,
like a faucet in a sink;
            While they all fell bad for there love story,
            such a short story.
beeeep
beeeep
He wakes up astonished;
looking in a gaze; proud to see another day.
Just to realize
His love was taken yesterday.
                                                      ­     yours truly,
                                                          ­                . . .