I can still hear you teasing me
When I'd steal your cigarettes
I only smoked with you
And I miss smoking.

i’m over the withdrawals
i fought through the pain
and even though the high is gone
i still think about you everyday

I will never have the words to say
How proud of you I am
I know the pain
The anger
The confusion
That the long old road
To recovery takes you through

I know the sleepless nights
The tears of frustration
The sick feeling in your stomach
And the constant pounding head
That comes with the withdrawal

Meds designed to see you through
All the pain and fear you feel
Once taken away
You get washed back out to sea
No life raft left
Just got to trust you are ready
To face the crashing waves

And you will hold steady
It make take some time
And you may falter
But you can do this
I believe in you

Withdrawal will end
You'll come out the other side
You’ll feel ok again
It just takes a little while
But I’m here for you
Every step of the way
Recovery is tough
And it’s not a straight line
But together we can get you through it

Please believe me
You are going to be
Just fine.

Officially,
the calendar now marks
that it's been over a year
since I've last had your taste.
I should be proud
of myself
- and I am -
but more so, I am
surrounded by frustration.

I cannot write code like I used to.
Neither can I
find the words to write poetry
like I used to.
With you,
my creativity and passion
came effortlessly:
like turning on a tap
from which the essence
flowed,
whenever I took
my next hit.

Now, it's been
over a year from you;
and the passion from which
you robbed me of
is starting to come back.

I refuse to let
my memories of you
taint
that which I love.

My subdued passion
for programming,
video games,
and literature
shall not be dull forever.

With every new moon
that passes,
the fog in the mirror
continues to fade,
as my reflection
becomes clear.

And with it,
I feel (more than anything)
the ambition
that which you stole from me
ever-so-slowly return.

I so desperately
searched for my soul
while in your grasp.
Clouded by your embrace,
I lost myself,
and saw only the image you painted
in the mirror.

In time I will find myself again.
Fully.

One year clean
is something to celebrate.

loving you was such a rush
you swam through my veins
hitting me like ******,
now i'm in withdrawal

i can still feel you in my blood.

I found a snake berry in the garden;
It tasted mild, sweeter in the garden.

It curled around augustine and bloomed in
the thickly ****-breaker of the garden.

I ate the snake berry as the warden of backyard play, augur of the garden.

The berry snake beckoned and beckoned
"Is the fruit mild, sweeter in the garden?"

It was, I said, sweeter in the garden
It tasted mild, sweeter in the garden.

It's like being separated from air by a mask, or love by glass. It's knowing you're there, just in my peripheral vision, but never being able to see you, no matter how far I turn. It's knowing how I feel when you're with me, yet never meeting you in person. I hate this diet, I'm so done. Noah_arkenswagg

Withdrawal thy toe
From the deep end an see
Just how much
You've abandoned me

Thy hours are eternity
Without a drop to drink
Quite a lonely life for me
Watching dead men sink

A shame
Our love
Is not enough
To withdrawal
These Dependencies

A conflict in progression
My apologies
Done with regression
In harmfull times as these
Feeling worthless
And worth less
Than a drop of vile drink