A sunrises itches towards the horizon
the beholder begs bygones
for this day to be different
to change
anything new feels unbearably strange
i can only
scratch
the frustration
that bubbles to rage
each ray of light
becomes
a bar in the cage
all i feel
is the craving
& desire
in my face

The sunset reveals true being
the beholder starts fleeing
i can't bear to confront it
my soul
i'd rather chase the horizon and see where it goes
get lost
in the spectrum
as clouds turn
rose gold
as the colours
delve deeper
the world
becomes
cold
but i'm sweating
and shifting
my bones
growing old

until your lights come undone
And the sun deport its creators
And seek you instead;
Every person you came to love was already dead and they shoved their corpses and broken teeth down your throat like a blackhole branch and nostalgic chaos
cremating all the bodies they’ve occupied, but still it tasted too familiar to your common sense that  you let it.
Or is it okay as long as it's spoiler free, and less relevant to your story standards, and case scenario?

I took a handful of pills,
So I don't have to feel,
Chased 'em with straight Gin,
Where do I end or begin?

It's killing me or the memories,
They're lined up like enemies,
This Mary Jane by my side,
The only place I can hide,

I've been high for two weeks,
I haven't yet hit my peak-
And all the dealers are dry,
A ten strip of acid to fly,

She told me to leave her alone-
So I done sold my phone,
And now I'm doing these lines,
While my heart is doing time.

I can still hear you teasing me
When I'd steal your cigarettes
I only smoked with you
And I miss smoking.

i’m over the withdrawals
i fought through the pain
and even though the high is gone
i still think about you everyday

I will never have the words to say
How proud of you I am
I know the pain
The anger
The confusion
That the long old road
To recovery takes you through

I know the sleepless nights
The tears of frustration
The sick feeling in your stomach
And the constant pounding head
That comes with the withdrawal

Meds designed to see you through
All the pain and fear you feel
Once taken away
You get washed back out to sea
No life raft left
Just got to trust you are ready
To face the crashing waves

And you will hold steady
It make take some time
And you may falter
But you can do this
I believe in you

Withdrawal will end
You'll come out the other side
You’ll feel ok again
It just takes a little while
But I’m here for you
Every step of the way
Recovery is tough
And it’s not a straight line
But together we can get you through it

Please believe me
You are going to be
Just fine.

Officially,
the calendar now marks
that it's been over a year
since I've last had your taste.
I should be proud
of myself
- and I am -
but more so, I am
surrounded by frustration.

I cannot write code like I used to.
Neither can I
find the words to write poetry
like I used to.
With you,
my creativity and passion
came effortlessly:
like turning on a tap
from which the essence
flowed,
whenever I took
my next hit.

Now, it's been
over a year from you;
and the passion from which
you robbed me of
is starting to come back.

I refuse to let
my memories of you
taint
that which I love.

My subdued passion
for programming,
video games,
and literature
shall not be dull forever.

With every new moon
that passes,
the fog in the mirror
continues to fade,
as my reflection
becomes clear.

And with it,
I feel (more than anything)
the ambition
that which you stole from me
ever-so-slowly return.

I so desperately
searched for my soul
while in your grasp.
Clouded by your embrace,
I lost myself,
and saw only the image you painted
in the mirror.

In time I will find myself again.
Fully.

One year clean
is something to celebrate.