Wishing is all I can ask for

But having is something I can’t have

~
Oh listen, my desperate heart
At the young night Do not watch
Do not wish & do not start.
I'm powerless, injured & crucified—
Jittered, oft died & cried in yellow light.
Let not a thing be your wish
Don't wish for a thing
Don't.

I walk the middle line,
Open to hearing both sides.
Things are rarely black and white,
That’s something you’ll find.
There’s always nuance,
Though people may deny,
Open your mind,
And realize,
That perhaps you aren’t always right.
So many petty fights,
For “rights”
Stirring up so much strife,
For what?
Why can’t we just live life?
I try,
To be open minded,
And walk the middle line.
Always scouring the desert for nuance,
And nuance I always find.

If I had a wish, it would be
to walk the moon or hold the stars,
to venture Mercury or Mars.

If I had a wish, it would be
to wander across the ocean
and sail the seven seas.

If I had a wish, it would be
to overcome my fears
and conquer all my dreams.

And if I had a wish,
from a genie or a shooting star,

I reach out for it,
oh,
so
far.

The praise of death was a selfish desire.
You know this.
Yet the prayer comes every morning and night.
But, with no avail does your wish come.
So be it,
and let the desire eat you whole.

And how will i feel when you leave in three months
Perhaps to another town, state, country even
I wouldn’t know
We never talk

Its sad that ive wasted the last two years
Right next to you
But blind

Its sad that it was only a couple weeks ago
When i first saw
When i saw you walk down the hall
And thought to myself
Oh my

And its sad that i will go my whole life without ever talking to you
Without ever getting to know
Whats behind that guarded smile
Or that instagram profile

Perhaps we’ll meet a decade from now
You will see me
And you will think to yourself
Oh my

And i will finally get to know
You

You turned up suddenly in my life.
I wasn’t expected at all.
You was so determined and daring.
You hold me tightly in whole.

You understood what to do,
What I wanted and dreamed about.
Even though you knew me a bit,
You knew what I needed just now.

And unnoticed, in a half whisper,
You appeared beside me
As the rustle of leaves, the wind sound.
I don’t know how it could be.

It’s like you are on “Replay”
All day long till it’s dark.
When the night comes and I fall asleep,
You are with me stark!