granule
a glint
then, in love
a grenade of sunlight
the morning is sharply taken
bathing off of shots    from the reflective snow

winter slowly digests me
it's hard to process
standing in the spaces
between the void of pain and
the void of ecstasy
(any void is just the unbearability
of fullness)
no violin can invent
some tears
my eyes not split
searching for
a tree-womb
to shelter my skin
and slow my cells
to the decency
of breathing,
to unearth
the old tale
gently
like an offering

surrounded by the light of a thousand snowflakes,
dancing and spinning in the winter sun,
I forget the cold.

their beauty brings me warmth,
and I smile as a snowflake lands on my hand.

I stare at it.

we're just two pieces of the universe.

but as it melts, I remember the cold.

its these winter mornings
where any thought
of greeting
the dawning day
with warm thoughts
hopeful exuberance
and a positive outlook
will quickly be silenced
along with
the birdsong of
that overly optimistic alarm
that melody
so carefully selected
to ease consciousness
into a brightened state
of motivation
of joy
despised within seconds
immediately cut short
and resented for
its mindless persistence

the first excuse
a need for another
ten minutes
of warmth and comfort
to prepare
for the day
for life in general
perhaps
the second
a negotiated concession
that there was
no real reason
to get up
early anyway
finally
uncertain whether
in victory
   or defeat
the alarm will be
cancelled completely
along with the rest
of the day

To settle down and reflect on the months passed,
Relishing memories and moments kept sacred,
Looking inward and healing a child once forgotten,
A year's end to really pause and live,
For self actualization is as complimentary as winter and rain,
A chill flourishing among a fresh becoming; annual.

As obligations take up my free time
my wild spirit has been put in a cage
with perfection and accomplishment as my keys

Under a carpet of snow
when the first 'lenteklokjes' come peep from under their blanket
my keys will slowly rise up from the frozen ground as it thaws
and clear my way to the light.

faded Ladybirds swarm    my buildings intercom
Are they responding to an electric hum ?

faded Ladybirds swarm
a yellow painted wall
desperation
it is an unyielding prayer
no nourishment before the freeze