you want to see
how soft and tender my flesh is
and crack the inside of my mind open
like a pomegranate,
ruby jewels spilling onto white sheets.
i offer my plum ripe heart to you greedily
prey wanting to be hunted,
only to be left with sticky hands
from trying to hold myself together
when you walk away.

oh, how i wish i could be those girls in miniskirts
those girls who make 360 turns
in their Range Rovers
those girls who have boyfriends in perms
those girls who never recycle
those girls who party all night and never see real struggles
those girls who find opportunities on their rich stepdad’s floor
those girls who walk lightly cause they’re attainable  

but those girls die early due to their depression
they overdose on medication cause the media’s attention is too
unconventional
they scream into their pillows at night and
cut their tongues to make an effort to be silent
they kick and punch, but the world has no sympathy
they get discarded and left for the next best thing

and so
maybe i don’t wanna be those girls
i wanna stick to my world
where normal isn’t boring, it is a staple
and in a world where the only thing the future holds
is the future
not sick and twisted girls in miniskirts

Dreaming of you is a gift in the night
I feel your touch again
And remember what has since been lost

The wrongs of the past are forgotten in there
When I hold your arm and call you mine

I look deep in your eyes
Hear your light airy laugh
Feel your hand in mine
Your warmth as we embrace
How your head fits in my shoulder
And your arm around my waste
How it feels to with you
And the warmth our spark kindles
…kindled

Sometimes I wish we could live in dreams
But what’s in our minds are a fantasy of light
A swirl of things we wish had been
A thing that never will be

wasting well water wishes
while in wastewater wading
waiting waist-high wailing
weeping, wailing—
what a waste!

wasting well water wishes
while we're waxing waning
waning waxing waging
waging, wasting—
wherewithal!

wanting well water wishes
while whole world wishing
wasting wishing wanting
wanting wishing—
whole wide world!

welcome well water wishes
while we're wakeful watching
wakeful watchmen warning
warning watching—
wonderful!

whew!!

Mark Toney © 2022

i want a fire escape love
i want a “feels like i’m in space” love
i want a looking around every crowd to see your sweat dribbled face love
i want a kiss in your car love
i want a hold passionately in the dark love
i want an “aim at your heart cause i know where you are” love
i want a forgiving love
i want a long living love
i want a “shower you in kisses cause this is what i’m giving” love
i want a meadow runner love
i want a midsummer love
i want a “lay in a field of flowers with the sky above, us under” love
i want a fully encapsulated love
i want a “you make me exasperated” love
i want a never cause arguments or leave me aggravated love
i want a strong love
i want a hold me while i’m crying hard love
i want a never let the sadness get too far love
i want a peaceful love
i want a hand that removes the letal love
i want a “give me medicine so i don’t become feeble” love
i want a free love
i want a frolic on the beach love
i want an “end of the week it’s you i want to see” love
and i want an everlasting love
i want a light up the shadows that are casting love
i want an “end of a disaster it’s you and i that are going to be lasting” love

i want you, love

I found my favorite part of life:
in all its randomness and uncertainties,
we always find our favorites along the way
and we personalize those for ourselves.

It's lovely; we take our own scraps from everything
-- may it be genre of movies, delicacy, fragrance, people --
piece them together,
then own a wholeness that we are.

Although, wholeness is just a euphoric concept;
Some people may feel it, many may be patiently building theirs.
Being complete is a great feeling but it's ceasing life.
Be quirky and wanting -- this is the beauty of life, after all.

I love listing my favorites as much as waiting for the new ones.

i get so lost in tomorrow
i keep forgetting
this is exactly what i wanted.
i become myself and become myself
til i blister -
it hurts but it's me.
i shed my skin, bite my tail,
and never learn.
i dig my nails under my face and
chase something i'll never earn.