she waits for the days when their eyes will meet again. the days when his arms keep the rest of the world out in order to let her in. the days when his smile beckons her to drop the armor at his feet and present her raw, vulnerable self to him. the days when her eyes drink him in slowly and deliberately to savor the memory.

until then, her laughter rings out over hundreds of miles. his caring questions touch her heart just the same. his musings about random topics never fail to rivet her. her smile lingers long after their talks, and her love never dies.

I remember the night he said he was done.
My feet felt like ice on the pavement.
I could see my breath in the night sky.
I knew it was coming.
He had been small talking me for days.
Funny how men act so tough until they have to tell someone they are moving on.
“I deleted all of your photos...” he said. “Everything is gone off of my phone”
How does one move on so fast?
At this point, I wasn’t even listening.
I had opened my heart.
The vulnerability was unleashed like a fire hydrant and I couldn’t find the willpower to stop it from completely destroying my self worth.
I don’t blame you.
I wasn’t ready to be loved.

I am undoing myself again
The string once held now yanked from its place
Uprooting more then it’s existence
Unraveling each thing
I thought saved me

The remnants
Not even balled up on the floor
But sprawled across each crevice
The light invasively seeping in with authority
Subtly forcing each fiber into compliancy

But not permanently

Being Vulnerable does not come easily to Me!
To be heard and felt, to hear and feel felt like emotions with no meaning,
Then you sailed through and entered my space and saw things which I had not been able to place,
on the very landscape of my heart and soul, and you drilled a hole,
On the fabric of my life- spread and somehow, I experienced “wholeness” once more!
I became someone who feels and expresses and is not afraid to take chances,
This is a person whom I used to know, the original Me and Myself,
I gradually started to break promises I made to myself,
of not being vulnerable, emotional or open to any feelings,
I don’t want to hide behind this façade anymore,
Longing to feel the sun burning my skin once more,
I'm glad you exist, even if it’s on a different plane,
For through our interactions every time, there is so much I gain,
Pain is not what I have feared, it’s the explosion of joy that I don’t know how to handle,
Guess what? being vulnerable still does not come naturally to Me
Its only when I look into your eyes, which reflect the expectation of pain back to me,
Even though we are both smiling at eachother in this moment now,
For you and I are overlapping spaces, torn and ravaged blue
and for both of us, it is our very own Vulnerabilities which binds us like glue!

i'm breaking
ground is shaking
why do i let you do this to me

As your fingers run down my back
I exhale as if it were my first breath
in years

I shiver but not from the cold
you send a shock through my system
now I'm feeling whole

We lock eyes and in that moment
we know what I've always known
that this is something special

Life built a maze to protect my heart
but somehow you knew the way
how to bypass the Minotaur
the sharks in the water
the claws in the dark
You found a home inside
Without me knowing I still had space for you

As your fingers caress my face
I nuzzle against your palm
in a way I'd never admit
I've wanted this possibility of vulnerability

If you ever grew wings, to get away
I'd slay the sun
to keep your wax from falling apart
rather than allowing death to tear us apart