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Max Neumann Nov 2019
dancing in your
soul
intruder
lover...

your stallion cause
you need what's yours
youtube: "It's My Life Slav Version"
Randy Johnson Nov 2019
Back in the nineties, a video game was made that was called 'Mario is Missing'.
But the game was changed, the original title was going to be 'Mario is *******'.
In the game, Luigi has to find his brother who is taking a ****.
But they learned that people would've been offended by this.
They changed it because it would've been offensive to watch Mario ***.
They changed it because that was something nobody would want to see.
In addition to seeing Mario ***, people would've seen his tiny *******.
And Luigi would've laughed because Mario's ***** is only half an inch long.
Luigi would've belittled Mario and he would've laughed until he lost bladder control.
People would've also seen Luigi **** because his brother's **** is smaller than a tootsie roll.
Randy Johnson Sep 2019
I remember what happened 24 years ago.
I went to Walmart and bought a 3DO.
The 3DO was a video game console and it was 32 Bit.
Contrary to what some believe, it wasn't a *******.
It was almost as good as Sony's original Playstation.
I decided to buy a 3DO after some consideration.
I eventually bought the original Playstation but I bought the 3DO first.
It wasn't the greatest video game console but it certainly wasn't the worst.
It had some great games: Killing Time, Road Rash and the original Need For Speed.
But Plumbers Don't Wear Ties was so terrible that it will make your eyes bleed.
I was only twenty-four years old at the time, that was half a lifetime ago.
Panasonic, Sanyo and GoldStar were the three companies who manufactured the 3DO.
Randy Johnson Sep 2019
Her name is Chun Li and she first appeared in Street Fighter II.
Don't make this woman angry or she'll beat the hell out of you.
Many people make a comment that embarrasses her and her face turns red.
They tell her that she's supposed to wear her bra on her chest instead of her head.
Chun Li studied Martial Arts for several years and she sure does know how to fight.
And if you have any drugs, she'll steal them because she likes to get higher than a kite.
Randy Johnson Sep 2019
I had to travel through eight worlds to save Princess Peach.
But she's about as warm and caring as a blood ******* leech.
After killing seven fake Bowsers, I finally destroyed the real one.
I did it to save Peach but it was something I shouldn't have done.
She turned out to be a snob, she called me dumb and Luigi dumber.
She said that we're worthless in her eyes because we're just plumbers.
I had to fight turtles and Goombas and I told her that I deserved to be thanked.
She said that I'm dust beneath her feet and I decided that she should be spanked.
I put her over my knee and I spanked that soft ***.
She cried and cried which proves that she has no class.
I was only given a few lives and I had to travel through thirty-two levels to be able to win.
I would've dumped Peach in the lava instead of Bowser if I had things to do over again.
Starry Aug 2019
This is no
Ordernary bus
You do go on it
To go to work
Or to school
Unless
Work and school is
Battle field
And your job is to save the world.
Starry Aug 2019
The guy looks like he is going
To climb Mt Everest
But that axe isn't for ice
It's for fighting off enimes
And saving the world
Swing he will
If you get in the way of
His goals.
MisfitOfSociety Jun 2019
Out of the womb into the microwave.
The woodpecker and the tree.
Following the dead into the sea.

Undead in murky darkness, the darkness of a pale light.
Shimmering through the second presence in my room.
Necromancer raises me like a zombie from my tomb.

Standing on the precipice of the sleeping and the awake,
The siren sings through the holes in my head,
She likes me better when I am half dead.

She likes to play the dead girl when I'm awake.
When I close my eyes the dead dream of me.
Through their eyes I follow them into the sea.
It is here where I meet the woodpecker and become the tree.

A brain cell pops,
When her song starts.
Her disembodied voice comes through the video.
My song skips when it comes on the radio.
Fading in and out like a ghost,
Possessing me when she needs me the most.

It is too **** loud!
Turn down the volume!
Heard it ever since I was born!
******* me into a vacuum!
A silent place,
Where no one can hear me scream!

The baby bunny lost it's head,
The ones thought to be invincible,
Have all been found dead,
In a telephone booth.
Loveless love,
in an electric god's house;
Microwaving brains,
in the woodpecker's soup.

She used my axe to hack off my limbs,
Replacing them with parts made of tin.
She killed the lights fast enough,
For darkness to catch up.
I've forgotten how to love.

How do you even love,
Something that doesn't love?
Get this woodpecker outta my head,
It's making me hear the dead.
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