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mysterie Jul 13
this feeling of
upset,
frustrated,
sad,
misunderstood,
mad --
just makes me want
to rip my hair out of my head
and punch something.

knowing i full well
do not have the strength
to do
either.

i would break my knuckles
punching something,
and hurt my hands trying to
pull all my hair out.

im too weak.
that's what this was all about anyway,
im mad because im weak,
im sad because im too quiet,
im frustrated because no one hears me!
no one truly understands
my brain
and that will never change
no matter what i do.

no one but me is in here.

i feel things loudly,
and it feels like
im being swallowed
by multiple intense
feelings
all at
once.

and it's just too much,
for one girl.
one brain.
one heart.
one voice.

it makes me want to yank my hair out
and punch something
until my knuckles are red and ******.
this is not edited, just checked. its very raw, my feelings are just really big right now and i don't know what to do with them.
date wrote: 13/7
Chris Pea Jul 12
Darkness, is the lack of light
where nothing is bright
the black of a moonless night
deepest depth of the greatest sea where the day is out of sight

Darkness is a pressured mind
where life and people are all unkind
where your crying heart constantly pined
and depression weighs down to render you fatally blind

Give it time
without a sign
sun will shine
the blackness will be forgotton, for a while you'll be fine
mysterie Jul 10
im not even mad anymore --
im just just
tired
of your antics.
you twisted things
so well
that i actually
started to believe
that i was the villain
in my own story.

you were loud,
but somehow,
im the one that
they stopped
listening to.
it's funny
how that works, huh?

i wont send this.
because you would
more than likely --
just turn it into another reason
to prove me wrong.
but honestly,
youre not worth my voice
anymore.
TEXTS NEVER SENT. 4.
date wrote: 7/7
I wish I could, open up my brain sometimes,
Show everyone what it’s like, they all would say,

“Sure it’s a normal brain, everyone’s the same”

Nah it really isn’t you see, because there is something different with mine, I’d show it to you if you have time?

I might “look” okay but, my brain races,
I might say that I am okay, but within moments,
My brain creates scenario's for a million different things, that dont even exist,

If only you could see it, some days, it’s repaired,
Next, it’s beyond.
I don’t know what to do how the **** am I suppose to respond?

Some days I feel everything,
Others I feel numb,
On top of that,
A voice,
Saying,
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
Zack Feb 12
Ugh
My dreams of a warm snow day were thwarted by nature's other plans. On my way to work, my car slid down the same Wayne mountain which had imbued me with dreams of peace for today. The unkempt roads, covered in the slush of snow crushed by other poor souls trudging their way to work.  Jobs who could care less about employees safety paved the way for my mood to reach the tipping point it's at. 2 minutes late to punch and my boss says it's my fault for not planning properly. Little did she know I had planned on them caring about me more than they apparently do.

                                                          ---
                                           On my way to work
                                      Ice plots my likely demise
                                           God plots otherwise
                                                          ---
If you ever feel that you are frightened,
by barks, intimidating.
Do not fight, ignore or repress your feelings.

If your inner-walls detain you. Imprisoned.
And you seize. It is because,
your rage within, will leave you beaten.

If the dark arts can't ever be enlightened,
start off, illuminating,
your life's canvas, with your soul's graffiti.

If cold, bitter winters leave you stricken,
stiffen your fingered gloves,
and reach for your extra cover, fleecy.

Life's the hard part, please,
know, that the unliving's easy.

Strife's a scarred heart, please,
be careful, when it is given freely.

Be careful and know that,
the windowed moments,
of living pane,
will be mirrored,
in the reflections,
of every anguished,
droplet of rain,
and as they descend,
upon the ground,
in puddles, lain,
they'll pool together,
a collective of absorbing grief,
in
angels'
****-
tered
sky-
falled
tears,
cried from the heavens,
again, and again,
and again.

© poormansdreams
Nemusa Dec 2024
I’ve seen the future,

it looks a lot like this.

Your eyes, full of old fights

we never had, but should have.

We carry on, hands full of silence.
Up early again, can't sleep but shattered, now watching a ****** movie to take my mind off the pain and my thoughts.
Not my usual style.
CS Modei Oct 2024
Cry
Cry
Cry
Cry
See if I care.
I’m so numb now
All I can do is stare.
Stare at your face,
Cold and upset.
Why so upset?
Why
Why
Why
I don't exactly know where this poem came from, I just started typing and this is what came out.
My pillow is my silent guide,
A therapist where fears confide.
In moments when my heart's on fire,
I scream into its cotton spire.

It muffles all my ragged cries,
Absorbing every tear that dries.
A sanctuary soft and near,
It holds my pain, my darkest fear.

No judgment in its tender folds,
Just comfort that it gently holds.
When life is more than I can bear,
My pillow’s always waiting there.

A witness to my sleepless nights,
It knows my lows, it feels my heights.
In muffled screams, in quiet weep,
My pillow grants me peaceful sleep.
anna Aug 2024
sometimes i want to open up to you.
slice through my bruising flesh,
to reveal to you what words could never say.
i trust you like that.
to see how my ribs cage fragments of a broken heart,
and how my lungs are black from second hand smoke.
i want you to dig in,
and pull out all the things i’ve always questioned.
til the only thing left is a hollowed out hole.
maybe that way i can really feel nothing,
instead of saying i don’t
to avoid the conversation.
i want you to drain me of my blood.
like the vampires in movies i watched as a child.
so i don’t have to feel it pumping through my veins,
every time i feel the urge to open myself up
and search deep,
deep,
deep,
for a reason to feel nothing instead of feeling everything all at once
09-2020
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