It's scary
how you can
hold me back
without even trying too.

Dear God
Please give me the simplicity of four little letters
Carved like a love song onto my wrists
Can you see me trying and falling?
How many times can you break
Into skin so sunken that even
My own mother doesn't know
Where it breaks and
Where it bends

Good God I am here
Begging to a being
I cant convince myself to believe in
Like hopeful letters
The words fall flat
I am not who I am.

Drousy still days
of windy aggressive motion
cutting through the nonsense
my head in the clouds

It hurts, seeing the way he looks at her just hurts.
It makes me wonder if someday I’ll find someone who will be willing to give away those looks.
I wish we connected, the way he connects with her: without pretending we do.
I don’t know yet if they are onto something, but I can tell you, it isn't good.

I splash my face with chilled water,
Hoping the shock will freeze you out of my heart.
I take scalding showers,
To try and burn your touch from my body,
Where I can still feel your hands linger.
I drag the razor along my legs where you once kissed,
Shaving away pieces of you, letting the metal bite into my skin,
Hoping I can bleed you out of my soul.

I'm being torn apart,
Bit by bit,
But no one,
Not even the one I count on,
Is here to save me.

I long for the life I've only seen,
In picture books and magazines.

I'll spend forever,
Wondering if I could loved you better.

Give me a sign,
That things are alright,
I'll hold your hand,
Till the morning's first light.