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WickedHope Dec 2014
Do you know what today is?
     Today is the two year anniversary
          Of when I began to confide in you
               On a late night drive back from Barnes & Noble
                    You wanted to buy me dinner
                         So by the light of your dashboard
                              I was forced to explain --
                                   I chose to tell you --
                                        That I had a problem and couldn't eat
                                             And you told me that I'd be okay
                                                  Which I later was
                                                       Up until the day you cut me out
I love you.
I miss you.
WickedHope Dec 2014
There were flashing lights,
lasers, where we met.
There was loud music
and cheap drinks.

I found myself with the three of you,
only one of whom I'd met before.

That was the year I only wore plaid, mostly.
I was protesting make up at the time,
a leftover idea from my two year flowerchild period.
You were arrogant as ever,
self involved ****
with great taste in music.

I remember in all the conversations that followed
you'd compliment my impeccably perfect playlists.
I digress.

You stayed away from me that night,
let me hit on your friends.
But you got me that shirt.
I still wear it.

I had forgotten that night for over a year.
Even when I saw you next,
I didn't remember you.
I didn't remember you
and that has always bothered me.

I don't forget people.
I just don't.
Especially since it was both our first night out with that crowd.

You remembered me though.
And I'll never know why
I forgot and you remembered.

But now you forget me,
and I never shall forget you.
I promise you I'll never forget you.

And if you recall,
I don't break my promises to those I love.
WickedHope Dec 2014
WITH CONTRIBUTIONS FROM MULTIPLE POETS

You don't cut, your wrists are fine.
          If I was dumb enough to cut my wrists I'd have been caught by now.
You're not anorexic, I've seen you eat.
          How much, really?
You're not depressed, you smile all the time.
          Yeah, because acting and lying aren't things.
     ~
WickedHope

You can't have anxiety, you talk to so many people.
          Its funny how you see me talking, but don't see the panic attacks.
     ~
aesha nisar

You have a good life. There's no reason to be sad.
          You're part of the reason why I'm depressed.
     ~
Phoenix

You're not angry, you haven't raised your voice or yelled.
          Maybe the voices yelling in my head are so loud I can't do anything
          but focus on keeping them quiet.
You're not scarred from your past, you act normal.
          If normal is crying for hours at night till tears can't come anymore
          and apathy sets in, then yes I'm quite normal.
     ~
Stardust

You are so lucky, it's so easy for you to be good at what you do.
          You don't see the intensity of doubt and countless hours of anxiety to
          get things to the point they're not too embarrassing to show someone.
     ~
PrttyBrd

You're fine. You aren't depressed, just really sad.
          If I'm not depressed, just sad, then why am I here everyday?
          Why am I here crying to you when I should be out, living?
     ~
Tiffany Smith

God I swear every guy you meet online just wants to bone you.
          You say that like its a good thing. All I want is someone I can trust,
          someone I can rely on, not someone who wants to bone me.
You have boyfriends from everywhere, india, japan, china...
          I have none. These are only friends, the only one I want is you.
Your so strong.
          Yea, 'cause going home to cry in a corner, then stuffing my face with ice
          cream while watching sad anime is totally legit.
Are you okay?
          No I'm not ok. I just want to punch both your eyes out, then cuddle with
          you and make out with your face. Then maybe I'll just take a long break
          to bawl my eyes out and get rid of all evidence, all but the telltale clue of
          how swollen my eyes are
     ~
Creep that Loved You

Come on. You can go to school. You're not sick.
          Physically, no. Now mentally...
Why are you so good at everything?
          That's because you don't bother to look deeper.
You look fine.
          Oh yeah, the red eyes and dark circles just add to my beauty.
I love you.
          Yeah, it looked like it when you were 'out' with your 'friends.'
     ~
maha salman

You're so resilient. You've been through so much pain, yet here you are living strong.
          That's because every time someone says, are you OK? I just smile and
          say I'm fine. But none of them can hear the screaming in my brain saying
          I should just die.
You're so beautiful.
          No.... The smile is fake, powder covers the circles under my eyes,
          mascara makes my eyes look bright and lip stick covers the bite marks
          on my lips from where I chew through them when I'm anxious, or
          panicking, or being asked questions. You would be repulsed by the
          beast underneath.
You're such a talented poet.
          If writing down my deepest darkest dreams, nightmares, fantasies and
          memories, make me a good poet, then yes. But all I write is the thoughts
          that scream to come out or my head will explode.
     ~
The Girl Who Loved You

You have never felt real pain, you are a man not a wuss.
          The worst pain hits you in the heart not in the head... Whats a man
          without pride, whats a man without a name?
Get over her bro, shes just one girl.
          One girl that I chose to love out of the 7 billion other people in the
          world.
Open up your heart to new people new things.
          What's the point in meeting people, when in the end they all just leave?
You aren't alone.
          I'm not alone? You lie through your teeth, where where you when I sold
          my soul to the devil and condemned myself to the abyss?
We are proud of you always, son.
          Words I've never heard, just the echoes of my parents inside my head.
You live a great life.
          That's not the message the untouched prescribed sleeping pills and           ecstasy portray.
     ~
Tapiwa Gerald Mateko

You're so patient.
          On the outside yes, in the recesses of my mind I'm screaming my
          head off... waiting for something that will never happen.
     ~
Julian Pacheco

Who cares about the others? You're not like them you're different.
          What if I don't want to be different? What If I want to curl up into a
          ball and pretend I don't think I'm failing you every moment of the day.
Life's not fair.
          Well maybe it's time it should be. Maybe it's time for us to stop
          thinking that we deserve more because that's all we've ever known.
          Maybe it's our job to MAKE life fair.
Forget it, move on.
          I don't want to. Shouldn't everyone be able to hold onto the things they
          hold close? If they were holding it close it meant something and if it
          meant something good then it's worth fighting for.
Shut up.
          No. This time I won't be quiet because I sit here and I listen to what you
          say every day; you treat whoever you want however you want and that
          is not your right. Everyone has an opinion. I want to share mine.
     ~
Forgotten Dreams

You're so confident.
          Only because you do not see the pain and turmoil it causes me
          inside, and the sores inside my cheeks to keep from crying.
Why are you shaking? It's not even cold.
          Because I'm scared, scared of scenarios untrue.
~
Makayla

You're not sad, you look so happy.
          Tell that to the guys who keep pointing all my flaws, and laughing
          about it, leaving me speechless because I have nothing to say in return.
You're such a good writer.
          And look how handy that is, won't ever shut them up for good.
You still have so much to live for.
          To keep living like this, might be considered anything but living. You're
          all too perfect for this world, but you know what? My body can't keep
          living in a different place my soul is.
     ~
A Sad Sam

Chill out man, it's just a couple people.
          To me, three people is like three thousand people. Their voices circulate
          in my head and drive me crazy until I can't help but break down. You're
          right, I should definitely just chill out because I don't know anything
          about the disorder that brings a constant burden to my days.
Why are you so antisocial? Get off the computer and do something productive for once
          Try the fact that everybody that surrounds me makes me feel like the life
          I live isn't worth living and the comfort of understand people on the
          internet keeps me sane.
You're so lazy.
          Don't you dare start on that, because every ******* day I wake up and
          breathe despite my lungs collapsing in on themselves from all the
          pressure people give me, and every single day I do the work I'm told to
          do and I'm trying my hardest but I'm fighting a war with myself and it
          takes up every ounce of energy I have left. Don't you dare tell me that
          I'm lazy when every day I take all the strength I have to keep on living.
     ~
Emma Tauzell

They had never met, didn’t know each other’s name --
          Yet their eyes were already making love.
     ~
Deborah

You can't really love someone you've never met.
          He's the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes, the last
          thing I think about before I go to sleep, he's in my thoughts all
          the moments in between, his face takes away the nightmares and
          fills all my dreams. How is this not love?
     ~
Just Melz

Just forget about her and move on.
          How am I supposed to do that, when all I see is her and her
          precious qualities I so dearly love in every girl I talk to?
          Forgetting is a lot harder to do than finding.
     ~
Neb Dnarts
Feel free to add to this in the comments,
and I'll tac it on the end with credits to your screen name.
WickedHope Dec 2014
How do you do it?
How do you forget, move on?
How to you forget spending so many sunrises with a person?
A person who forced you out of your shell?
A person who, first the first time in four years, seemed like they
    actually cared?
A person who for once made you feel like you could amount to
    something?
Like you didn't have to force yourself into this cookiecutter image?
How do you forget someone who would talk to you untill 2, 3, 4
    every night?
How do you forget the soft, warmness of their sweatpants when
    you were freezing?
Someone who would drive out in the middle of the night just to
    see you?
How do you forget the first person to actually chase you down and
    wrap themselves around you until your wrist stopped bleeding?
How do you forget, I need to know. Everything is Him.
WickedHope Nov 2014
He always had a deep thoughtfulness in his chocolate brown puppy dog eyes
He reacted to everything with this one look where he would squint and his mouth would twist into an asymmetrical skeptical smirk
His straight dark brown hair rested just below his eyebrows and he was always shaking his head slightly to the left to clear his vision
He refused to wear his glasses even though they turned me on so terribly
He color coordinated every outfit like such a pretty little rich boy
He made me feel so insecure yet strive for greatness being the class salutatorian
He was so shy about his guitar maybe because of his brother the famous musical prodigy
He insulted baseball on a regular basis though it was the sport that he loved and played
He slept and never did it was so strange
He proved how much his friends mattered
He came through in everything always
He made me feel like I could not only be something someday but like I was already everything too
Perhaps that's why I made him mine
                                                        my everything.
I miss you terribly, love.
- - -
No punctuation. If it bothers you,
go **** yourself,
because I miss him so much I'm crying.
WickedHope Nov 2014
I get that I can't have everything.
       I don't have much now,
       But I'll give it up.

  Take all the money I don't have.
Take my food that I don't eat.
  Take the books I used to read.
Take my drawings, they're useless.
  Take this body no one wants.
Take even, dare I say, my poetry,
       After all, it is written for you.

But please, can't you just make me smile again?
I'd give everything to smile with you once more.
I miss you so ******* much.
Please, please come back.
Can't things just go back to the way they were?
You were the perfect lie....
Please... Please...
- - -
He's never coming back. My bestfriend is gone.
WickedHope Oct 2014
dear "two a.m.,"

soon i shall leave you
we knew the day would come

but i hope you remember
and i hope you forget
there is so much with you i treasure
and so much that i still regret

please don’t think of my spontaneous outbursts towards you
i want you to recall it raining and us dancing and laughing
let my tears slip from your mind
but don't let my scars fade
they are what proved i was real

ask deep questions that startle those you are with
don’t let up, get the answers so you can learn the questions
this is the only lesson i can teach you
for i know won’t be remembered for my intelligence
but for my use of words and how often i gave them

live, love with your heart
i know now that it’s okay to stop thinking
if only sometimes
let my words and my love live

i’ve tried to make my words count
and my love strong
some words i regret, some i didn’t mean
some love was held back, i wish i hadn’t

but they are my legacy
they are what live on
what nothing can strip of me

as the clock strikes "three," just please, don’t completely forget me

~"sg"
Assignment. Had to write a letter to someone.
It's 2:00 AM and I'm still awake
I can't stop thinking for God's sake
Of her and all her perfection
She's the object of my affection
I just took things as they were
Now I can't stop thinking of her
There is a certain apathy
That arrives at two AM;
I don't care what tomorrow is
I just want some REM.

— The End —