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glass shattering nights
blood pouring from the surface
what have i become
always anxious Nov 2014
She paints a pretty picture
But all the inks run red the picture Of a ****** battle
That's going on inside her head

She paints a oretty picture
Of a girl in dress and heels
But the mirror shows a skeleton
But still she skip another meal

She paints a pretty picture
But nobody's seen it yet
It's of a shiny razor
That makes her sleeves red and wet

She paints a pretty picture
of an angel in the sky
That didn't see the point of life
And now they all whisper
"Suicide"

Now i paint a pretty picture
It's all in black and white
Our memories and childhood dreams
Still wonder why she took her life
So this is song lyrics i'll put up a link when i've finished the song
honey Oct 2014
He stumbles through the door,
I take a kick to the chest,
And a yell,
That I'm worthless and to get the **** away,

I back away,
thinking it was my fault,
slinking to my mother,

I get in the car,
Not knowing what was in store,
Or how long I would really be apart from my hero,
I thought it would just be 2 weeks,
I was wrong,

My daddy comes home from prison,
I had forgotten the things from before,
And I hug him and kiss him,
I missed him,
He smiles and returns my affections,

I look at the woman,
Round and thick,
Jolly, if you please,
And slink behind my "hero",
He tells us it's ok,

We meet our soon-to-be-siblings,
Hugging,
Smiling,
Bonding,

The young one touches too much,
when nobody's around,

My daddy stops letting mommy,
see us,
talk to us,

How long has it been?
I miss my mommy...

Some people came,
He told us to lie,
Or else,
and we do,
They break the rules,

He tells us mommy's dead,
He killed her,
She's in the attic,
I start to cry and ask why,
He answers that she was a *****,

Cops come a week later,
Everyone's screaming,
Holding,
Hiding,
I don't,
I want them to take us,

They take us up the road,
They let me sit in the front,
And press the buttons,
To the station we go,
To the back,

I see someone,
By a white bmw,
Smiling,
Mommy,
I start to cry,
laughing,

I jolted out of the car,
Letting my little brother out,
Running to my real hero,
She saved us from the man that fooled us all,

I am grateful,
I am thankful,
I am happy,


Mom,
It's been 7 years since that day,
We were away from you for a year,
We were all lied to,
Including you,
But I want you to know that Korey was never "Hero",
You were always our hero,
Conner,
Christian,
Me,
I love you,
and we will always be your babies.

cdh
just something.....

update: I showed this to my mom and she cried for 20 minutes and hugged me--
always anxious Oct 2014
i liked the pain
it was what kept me sane
i harmed myself
ever since i was twelve
i was just a sad kid
that did whatever my dad forbid
i was a little rebel
that made my parents go mental
i had to resist
so i decided to slit my wrist
and even though i was loved
this depression had me cuffed
i decided to give up
and no one was to make me stop
EP Mason Oct 2014
Three months ago
I cut
I cut until my veins ran dry
I cut until my skin turned white
I cut until my sheets were black
And all the world fell back

Today, this day
I cut once more
I cut until my legs were sore
I cut until my eyes weren't green
I cut until my soul felt clean
I cut until I collapsed
Never thought I would relapse
© Erin Mason 2014
raingirlpoet Oct 2014
i'm not proud to say
i'm 85 lbs
that's not much of a girl
but i remember
when being 85 lbs
was all i ever wanted
when i craved a flat stomach
thin wrists
a gap between my thighs so wide
when i spent my days
filling my belly with water and air
taking lunches to school
but not eating them
instead tossing them in the trash because the smell of fresh fruit
made me sick
when i look in the mirror
i see the ghost and skeleton of a girl
who's in recovery
and i'm disgusted
85 lbs
is not much of a girl
i remember when all i wanted
was to be smaller, smaller
when i was 80 i wanted to be 75
75 wasn't enough so i kept purging til i hit 70
70 wasn't enough
65 wasn't enough
nothing would ever be enough
0 would never be enough
-10 would never be enough
i remember when they forced needles into my papery skin
i remember when 80 was enough for me to keep my life
and i remember
when i decided
i would always be enough
i had an eating disorder. i have an eating disorder.
Jesse Briese Oct 2014
time is a healer
but alas I've always been
terminally ill
paige v Oct 2014
bones and dust, you are my only love,
more beautiful than anything alive;
a still heart and a vacant mind
i would just
die to see you
one more time
this makes me feel better
always anxious Oct 2014
I was made to love
And i was sure it had to be you
But seems like i was tricked
And you were too

You leave it alone
You're already over me
I'm so desperate to move on
I fall in love with whoever i see

I've been so stupid
Almost lost my innocence
In a ******* forrest
I thought ihad a better taste..

Right now i wouldn't mind dying
I comvince myself i'm happy
But why can't i just face that i'm not?
Beacuse i wanna move on and be all jumpy
So.. I was on a date with a guy who smokes **** and stuff and i'm out in some deep **** with the guys.. I'm known as the ***** on all schools in my town and im a ****** i no longer know what to do i'm ****** up but kerp convincing myself that i'm really happy
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