if i had a gun
i would press it against my temple
and feel the pulse radiate through my shaky hands
my thoughts of guilt and doubt running through my mind
and i would consider placing it on the table
consider saving myself for one more day
but instead
i would pull the trigger
-c.a

the haze that covers my eyes
like a blindfold of nightmares
follows me through the day
keeping me from living
and inviting death
-c.a

my wrist is a canvas
and i am the painter
the blood streams down my arm
like a river of pain
that calms me with each ripple
the rush of adrenaline
like cliff diving into a lake of sadness below
it hurts
but the beautiful art created by the razor
makes my heart beat fast
and the people who admire from afar
know that i am pained
and i am a beautiful
my scars are a masterpiece
-c.a