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R Spade Mar 22
Kneel beyond my throne, unaware it was born of lies.
Eyes linger on my every move, whispers shouting.
Am I meant to replicate perfection, or just die trying?
Cold smiles approach, thinking they have uncovered my tell-tale heart.

But I am a seasoned ghost.

Being raised to suffer, I have learned to hide.
To mold myself to fit the standards.
To grit my teeth and stand still as my form shifts once again.
Knowing the brief seconds of waking are a soft euphoria I will soon miss.

I wake to a dawn meant only for the dying.

I wake to reset my own jaw,
bending my bones backwards
with the occasional crack,
a ritual ensuring I resemble something human.

People believe I am powerful, successful, happy,
(but i am as fragile as frost on a window touched by morning).
My costume is convincing, but cannot change what I am.
Invisibly so, and so the pretending continues.
irinia Mar 21
I'm in no hurry,
I'll let time pass by.
Each second as it drops
Bit by bit erodes
Suffering.
I'll be patient.
Each wave that breaks
Is rasp to the rock.
On which I'm bound,
Each speck of rust
Thins the chain.
In just a millennium, or two,
The rock will become sand,
The iron links fine powder,
My bones calcium molecules
Dissolved in water,
Suffering nothing.

By Ana Blandiana, translated by Adam J. Sorkin
kn Mar 19
Last year, my heart cracked deep,
Not by a lover, nor a friend I'd keep.
But by the ones I held so high,
The ones whose love should never die.

I sought warmth, a gentle hand,
A place where I could safely stand.
Yet, in their eyes, I was unknown,
A stranger lost within my home.

The words unsaid, the love denied,
The quiet stares, the hollow pride.
All I wanted was to belong,
To hear that I was loved all along.

The weight is heavy, the wound still aches,
A storm that time alone remakes.
But distance now, a needed space,
To heal, to grow, to find my place.

And though the past still haunts my mind,
I choose to heal, to still be kind.
For somewhere out there, hearts remain,
Who’d brave the wild to shield my pain.

So I will walk, though lost I seem,
Towards the love I’ve yet to dream.
And one day soon, the ache will fade,
And I will stand—no longer afraid.
kind hands Mar 17
the fear
that binds the wall
that hides the truth
is non logical
but rational

divides the self
and keeps me aloof

must be named
but not shamed
to make me whole

it serves a use
that has no use

fear is the function
of the wound
the causation of confusion
and its taken root
Aaron Beedle Mar 17
Again, it comes, with stabs, and gaps, and drags, day, by day, you wait, with hope, that you, not broke, but a, phase of life, and not, condemned, or shunned, but truth, be told, if not, from fault, you're getting, old, and that, don't change, and soon, estranged, you'll roam, in search, of what, you lost. It is, with pain, I can inform, the human form, its not for life, least not our life, but each others, and that we must, be kind, lest we find, not helping, hands, but, roaming feet, and faces, that we'll never meet.
About: It doesn't matter whether you have good reason to be upset, most people won't care and will ignore you regardless.
Roni Hall Mar 17
Fear of abandonment
There's someone better than me

Fear of betrayal
I am not good enough, never will

I can not open heart,
I do not want to attact this deceiver
One who cheats love,
A selfish contender...
That wants me and the world.

Low vibrational **** and becoming be gone.
I do not want you,
But wait... why do I keep thinking and feeding you with my fears of abandonment...of not being good enough?

This heavy feeling of not having access to anything better, limiting beliefs imprison me.

All I see and hear are the echoes of others' pain and fears...so I won't open my heart.
I can't do that to myself.

Everywhere, online in comments I see him,
I feel him
Low vibrational selfish ****
His heart is closed too...that's why we keep finding each other
I don't want him yet I find home in him.

Anticipation of the worst you and you don't even exist...yet.

Emotional insecurity, instability,
More abandonment, validation of not being good enough.

More of not being chosen
More mental fights...creating more momentum into chaos that hasn't happened...yet.

I am the door that is letting these demons in.
Why do I keep doing this to the love of my life?
My heart needs a safe space and this isn't it.
Why won't I love myself better?

Shame, judgment for this guilty pleasure of mine.

Split Desire consumes my energy, dull
Between better × healthier and dirtier x sicker
Oh multiple choices, where do I begin?
Which timeline should I resign?
I don't want my heart to be mined,
I want my heart to be considered.

My inner child's heart deserves to be chosen.
I can't choose those who won't too.
If I do, I abandon myself first.
I create insecurity and disloyalty to my little girl's heart first.

Am I still inviting the devil into my bed?

Oh my gosh,  
I close timelines where every cheater + heart deceiver comes + becomes

In my heart, in my presence
they always stink so bad
their demonic future crumbles in my sight.

Their disgusting energy, it is the tissue I wipe all the yucky impurities

Negligible care to engage now
they are energetically falling off like the leaves in autumn,
Now manure for the seeds of love I plant for my future I secure
In my heart,
Fall away all parts of me that cheat + deceive the heart of the one I truly love.
Die.
What momentum are you creating in your mind, hmm? I hope it's actually what you really want ;) xo
GS Mar 14
It was a noose around my open neck,
A poignant bond I could never break,
Too tight, too strong as a boa's grip,
It strangled me with its embrace,
It drained me dry and slept on my bluish face.
It was desired like an amazing view,
Blinding those who’d never seen it through,
And was it called happiness for two.
Inspired by Yeghishe Charents
Lynn Mar 14
I built this house
Of glass with stone
I watch you break it with my bones
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