you like to pretend
that you are blind.
your friends like
to believe you.

but you can't keep up
this act forever.

soon, you will need
to open your eyes.
you will need
to look around.

you will start reading
that newspaper left
decaying on your doorstep.


when you finally see
the pain that you've
been privileged enough
to never feel,

when you've read
about enough pain
to put that gun
in your own mouth,

don't pull the trigger.
the world doesn't need
any more violence.

soon, you won't be able
to ignore the screams.
you will see how
the world is hurting,
and how your ignorance
has helped cause this.

you won't be able
to live with yourself.

but when you turn that gun
towards your own head,

don't pull the trigger.
the world doesn't need
any more bullets.

what it needs is
for you to help ensure
that no more triggers are pulled.

What is it I love about autumn?
Is it the syncopated falling -
an umber mirror of my life
the chronic crawling
back from a dying state,
the challenge of letting go,
hope of writing a clean slate
or is it the blessed wait
of this transition season
for the coming blast
and its harvest
of accretion?

Do not imagine that you are good,
when you lie and distort
deceitfully report
misinformation as facts,

when the evidence lacks
any real facts
that supports your side
but you decide
to demonize the guys.

When you run your mouth,
spewing hate and deception
to cloud the perception
on Americans,

when you let hate reign
ruling over those in pain
with a boot on their neck
to keep keeping them and check
and do not let them breath.

Do not make light of the plight
claim that you the right are right.

Be careful because we good hearted
pacifists are tired of the terror you insist
on enforcing on others.

Rage runs both ways
and if you are unwilling to change
if you continue to succumb
to the thumb of the derange,

this experiment can change,
countries are not eternal
cultures and ideas fade,

if you refuse to use
your power for good
then mother nature
of our good natured brotherhood
will change the world for you.

I hereby confess my sins, and must tell you why
Why this man that writes these words and holds the pen must die
Why evil so ferociously invades my mind
And will not cease no matter how hard I try
These words that I beseech unto you are truth and hold no lie

I received word from THE LORD above that I must preach
To take my knowledge of the spirit
To the streets to teach
To spread the gospel far and wide as far as I can reach

But, After 2 or 3 weeks of compliance
While doing His will and honoring our alliance
I was met with a streak of complete defiance

I went out and preached in stores one day
I was satisfied with the work id done and thought it was ok
But upon return back to my home the LORD said sternly, nay
That it wasnt enough and that I needed to preach more today
That I needed to jump back into the fight and jump back into the fray
But in my foolishness I decided that on my bed I should lay
Now ever since, that decision, I have had to pay

Right at that very moment, evil attacked and I became a target
After all this time has passed I am filled with utter regret
Its something I am ashamed of
And desperately wish I could forget

But during those times of preaching
I was always met with fear
Evil had encompassed me. And I was told that if I stopped my death was near
To this day "preach, or die" makes me want to shed a tear
The devil knows of my failures and meets me with an evil snear

Its been 8 months now since I stopped
8 months of mental torture since I flopped
8 months of fearing death since THE LORDS will I had dropped


Now the death that had been spoken of before
Grows and grows to the point that I cannot ignore
The suffering of my soul continues more and more
I don't know if I can take it. So is death truly in store?

I do believe in miracles, but I dont know if I will get one
Will THE LORD show more mercy, or is He finally done?
The grave is looming and life is no longer fun
So don't be a failure like me.
Put your faith and trust in THE SON
And whatever you do, don't turn your back and run!
I should have followed Him. I would have won.

Now I await my death. My life is done.

You want me
It’s true yes you do
I’m a pawn
Another use
But you want more
More of me
Me, me, me
Double or nothing
I’m a status symbol
Something to smile about  
I make you feel powerful
Not for me no but what I mean
You tamed me you see
Marked me when you were inside
That’s all that matters
You need as much of me as you can get
You’ll even hurt me to get your way
You need to feel this way
I wish I could admire whatever strength you claim to have
By doing what?
You think sticking me with a needle means that you’re a god
That scars and bruises are just less dignified ribbons
And the more you do it with more duplications that must mean you’re the best, right?
Pathetic and selfish and so laughable and insecure
I’m begging myself to pity you
But all I find is pain and shame and rage
What is so wrong about me that I am nothing more than a mystery to gawk over?
Do you understand what it’s like to be treated like an empty vessel?
No I don’t expect your sympathies
You’ve killed that part of you since you were a child