Hope you feel better than i do
Todays my moms birthday...
i feel so nervous
im tired
my stepdad called me a *** and goth over me being emo
and almost killed me for the 3rd time
i feel like the cover of a fricking Nirvana album
bleh
I don't kno any more

It happens to
everyone.
It will affect
everything.
A set of dolls
smashed.
A child's life
bashed.
Your car's
crashed.
Headlights
flashed
A marriage
trashed.


You've caused
abuse.
You've been
abused.
Family can
abuse.
Laws are
abused.

The lights dim and a curtain's drawn,
A quiet theater as the show begins.
It's the same reel playing on repeat,
A shattered heart broken from sin.

He lies next to her as he'd always done,
Reliving his day through adventurous stories.
But something about him had changed that night,
The girl became something he had to seize.

A kiss of the lips catches her off guard,
"I'm sorry" escapes from under his breath.
Her chest so tight no response can form,
What comes next will surely be her death.

One hand on her side and he pulls her close,
Another kiss as he poisons her lips.
She can feel his excitement begin to rise,
He slide his leg up to part her hips.

Interlocked now she's trapped beneath him,
The weight crashing down on her soul.
A rhythm forms while his body presses in,
Her own feelings are now out of control.

The heat grows and a pulsing begins,
Something she had never felt before.
A feeling one should be allowed to enjoy,
Instead she feels like a ***** *****.

He leaves her lying there confused,
An evil grin creeps upon his face.
Where once before a bulge began,
A wet spot had formed to take its place.

No apologies now as he shuts the door,
Alone in her bed she begins to shake.
The man she thought she could look up to,
Had become the one to make her break.

And on this scene she now feels stuck,
Burning a hole through her mind like tape.
A scene no one will choose to believe,
Because it was never actually ****.

Being a stepparent is a fate worse than life.
I spend my time feeding into relationships that will not stand the test of time.
I am here as support, no matter what you need.
But no matter what I do I’ll never be he.

He who made you,
He who abandoned you.
He who caused you pain.

No matter what he does, you love him all the same.
Whatever I do I am looked on with disdain.

Being a stepdad is the hardest of all work,
Using me and running to him,
It makes my feelings hurt.

Yeah he may have made you but he never put in the work.
I don’t want to take his place,
I just want peace.

For you to love me will make me forever pleased.

You were the epitome of cliche jokes and the feeling of a warm fire after being in the cold.
You were the glue to keep the 1000 piece puzzle together.
You were forgiveness in hardships
You were hammer and nails on the tool belt that a worker wore with pride each early morning and every sweltering day and all the long nights
You were dancing to commercial jingles
You were waking up excited Christmas morning to pancakes
You were trust
You were more than 2 family gatherings on holidays and having time stretched thin between the different 5 ones we had to go and choosing which one we wanted to attend
You were a secret holder
You were making weekends an hour long trip every weekend
You were holding hands with my mom while you drove and talked and laughed so
You were taking the role of "dad" when the one who fathered three kids didn't want to be
You were love in its best form
Until you weren't

Life comes and goes
The person you are now could be someone that everyone back then would walk right past and never even know
You could take your compass heart north and let it lead you for the better
Or you could go down south and let it tear your very name up, letter by letter

You could choose the love of your life
or the love of the night
That would be gone by the next day
And you woke up alone wondering why you just didn't stay
You keep walking, hoping that your family is still where you left them that day
But you forgot that the letters that made up your name aren't what they used to say

And maybe they would take you back with open arms
Maybe they would give you the love you forgot in the midst of your own ocean storms
Maybe they would tell you the jokes you missed out on while you were shipwrecked and your compass broke
Maybe they would remember your name and help you rebuild it even though the last letter is barely hanging on, like a tattered edge of a rope

Life always gives you a choice, it's not just one or two.
There's numerous paths to go on, what're you going to choose?
Are you going to let a town beat you down until you aren't you?
Or are you going to overcome the obstacles and make it out alive and see this battle on through?

And your
Name was always known
Though, who's to say the letters make any sense
How can we fix the way you willingly let your ship get
Overthrown?
No, our hearts are passed being punched and kicked
You can't Unscramble this

Bent over the painted lines of her road.
Stood a black feathered crow
peeling back a tendon of flesh,
Like a strand of red twizzler candy,
from the tannish white fur
of a dead bunny.

she thought this was cute.

"AWW! THEY'RE KISSING!!"

Her daddy did not correct her.

This memory, he revisits every time she brings a new boy home.
Debates internally,
the tipping scales that balance ignorance and optimism.
If maybe he should have explained the beauty in death, rather than let her beleive her illusions.
The beauty in nature, the circle of life.

Like a cat, she brings home dead animals

Like the owner of a cat,
He is unimpressed.

Maybe if he told her the bunny was dead, she would stop offering herself to the crows.